mil threw 1St bday party without me or DH!

mandi12 · October 2012

So we've been planning a party for a few weeks now. originally we were gonna have it at my moms but mil called DH and told him they had plans. We assumed it was BC of the location so we pushed back the date and decided to have it at our apt. Well aweek went by and every time I tried to contact mil to see if they could come she ignored me. She did however insist that DH bring DD over so they could see her on her actual birthday. Again while refusing to say a single word to me. so thinking nothing of it DH met mil so she could babysit while he went to a work meeting. When I got off work and he got out of his meeting we met up and headed to his in laws to get DD thinking we'd be polite and visit for a bit. When we walked in the entire house was decorated,there were balloons and crumpled wrapping paper from the presents they had opened and even a cake. His mil had taken it upon herself to have a party with his side and not even ask or invite us! After seeing that I was obviously FUMING, they all insisted it wasn't a party that they just had without us but that they wouldn't be coming to our party.... Do I win the in laws from hell award? Lol

kagl08 · October 2012

Wow! That's crazy! And I thought my MIL was bad because she still hasn't even mentioned DSs birthday nor gotten him anything even though she got my DD something just 6 weeks before my DSs birthday. When DH mentioned it she got mad at him and has been doing the silent treatment ever since. DSs birthday was September 28th.

You may just have won the award..

CMonkey515 · October 2012

Omg. That is beyond disrespectful. Honestly if my inlaws did that it would be the end of my relationship with them. How could they have an entire first birthday party for your child and not let you know about it? Especially after you went out of your way to make your party more comfortable and convenient for them. You didn't get to be there for your DDs first opening of presents, and first cake. That's completely unfair. Your mil had her own children and was able to do those things with them. How dare she take that away from you. Seriously I would tell her how wrong she was, and that would be the end of my contact with her. At the very least she would never watch my child again since she obviously does whatever she wants when you're not around.

HappyAardvark · October 2012

Omg. Please tell me you're done with her. Both you and your dh. That would be absolutely unforgivable. Insane.

jonnygurl76 · October 2012

Bizarre. And that would pretty much be the last time they ever saw my child, hope it was lots of fun and worth it for them!

cold0009 · October 2012

Wow! That is horrible!

rous27 · October 2012

I'm mad for you. I cannot believe that someone would have the balls to do that to you. I wonder if the reason she didn't say a word to you about the party is because you would put an end to it. What she did is incredibly selfish and unforgiving. I too would end the relationship.

AmyH1013 · October 2012

Wow. I don't even know what to say. Do you feel like his entire side of the family conspired against you or did they not realize it was all behind your back? What a bunch of a-holes.

Try not to dwell on the "firsts" that you missed out on. They just plain don't count if you weren't there. Your party is what matters and they all suck hard.

mandi12 · October 2012

Thanks guys. The only thing she has on us is that my mom watches DD more BC I and mil work days and my mom doesn't. Granted there are times that she could watch DD but it's an hour drive to her and an hour in the opposite direction to work. So I do occasionally choose my mom out if sheer laziness. But when DH has her they usually go to his parents if they're not ignoring him that week. She's had this power struggle going since DD was born. But whatever her issue is she could talk to us. DH and I are willing to work with her to avoid drama. What she did was way out of line.

jwls84 · October 2012

jonnygurl76:
Bizarre.nbsp; And that would pretty much be the last time they ever saw my child, hope it was lots of fun and worth it for them!

This!! I would be so hurt and angry! Such a disrespectful thing to do!

LCass · October 2012

mandi12:
Thanks guys. The only thing she has on us is that my mom watches DD more BC I and mil work days and my mom doesn't. Granted there are times that she could watch DD but it's an hour drive to her and an hour in the opposite direction to work. So I do occasionally choose my mom out if sheer laziness. But when DH has her they usually go to his parents if they're not ignoring him that week. She's had this power struggle going since DD was born. But whatever her issue is she could talk to us. DH and I are willing to work with her to avoid drama. What she did was way out of line.

Your ILs sound oh-so-mature. What does your H think of their behaviour? I can understand your MIL being jealous that your mom gets to babysit more often; my mom is jealous of that, too. But she realizes that A) she doesn't live as close to us as MIL and she works and MIL is retired, so as much as she's jealous she is mature about it and doesn't throw a fit because it's not a slight against her, it's just the way things have to be. Your MIL needs to grow the eff up.

missyishere · October 2012

CMonkey515:
Omg. That is beyond disrespectful. Honestly if my inlaws did that it would be the end of my relationship with them. How could they have an entire first birthday party for your child and not let you know about it? Especially after you went out of your way to make your party more comfortable and convenient for them. You didn't get to be there for your DDs first opening of presents, and first cake. That's completely unfair. Your mil had her own children and was able to do those things with them. How dare she take that away from you. Seriously I would tell her how wrong she was, and that would be the end of my contact with her. At the very least she would never watch my child again since she obviously does whatever she wants when you're not around.

This! It would be difficult for me to be kind to her after such a cowardess way to offend you. She must have some serious insecurities with her parenting if she has to go out of her way to deceive your family.

joolz17 · October 2012

Um, what JG said. That is seriously insane. What is your husband's reaction?

shediva1 · October 2012

Is your MIL on drugs? No seriously, who in their right mind does this?

mamaZbo · October 2012

What the heck, I'd be so pissed! That is beyond disrespectful and I would make sure dh let them know how wrong they were. Having a b'day party for your dd without telling you really crosses the line. I think I'd be taking a break from them until they offer an apology, and I don't know if I would trust them to be with dd alone for a long time.

Chunstad · October 2012

I agree with Jonny and HappyAardvark 110% on this. Hope it was worth it. I would cut that b!tch off. Why didn't any other relatives mention this to you, though? Was it a surprise party? Seriously, there is something wrong with that lady, I wouldn't trust her to watch my kid.

cantalopes24 · October 2012

Did they invite other people or was it just them? So weird!

Sunburn19 · October 2012

mamaZbo:
What the heck, I'd be so pissed! That is beyond disrespectful and I would make sure dh let them know how wrong they were. Having a b'day party for your dd without telling you really crosses the line. I think I'd be taking a break from them until they offer an apology, and I don't know if I would trust them to be with dd alone for a long time.

This! It would make me wonder what else they do that you guys don't know about. I really wouldn't let this one go. It's completely beyond weird, manipulative behavior.