How would you feel about....

magnoliablossom00 · October 2012

Your ILs referring to presents they buy for LO for Christmas "gifts from Santa?"

My MIL did this today and I didn't say anything, but I seriously hope she isn't going to call the presents she buys for LO "from Santa." Dh and I are Santa, not the grandparents. Plus, won't it confuse LO when she gets older? Why would Santa bring gifts for the girls to their house, kwim? Why wouldn't they just say the gifts are from grandma and grandpa? It just seems weird to me. Am I being selfish? How would you feel?

gymnst1013 · October 2012

I don't think it's a big deal. Since they are from "santa", the girls won't know who actually bought them. And I was always excited when santa left gifts for us at my grandparents' house.

magnoliablossom00 · October 2012

gymnst1013:
I don't think it's a big deal. Since they are from "santa", the girls won't know who actually bought them. And I was always excited when santa left gifts for us at my grandparents' house.

Thanks for your response. Our relationship has been rocky, so I like to get input on things like this b/c I don't know if I'm just being biased.

I guess I think it's weird b/c Santa never came to my grandparent's house.

Also, they live out of town and we host them the weekend after Christmas every year, so "Santa" would literally be coming from the backseat of their car. Ha. It just seems odd to me to be carrying in all these gifts and then saying, "Santa came!" when it's so clearly them.

MammaBear81 · October 2012

gymnst1013:
I don't think it's a big deal. Since they are from "santa", the girls won't know who actually bought them. And I was always excited when santa left gifts for us at my grandparents' house.

I agree with this too. "Santa" leaves presents at our house, and my IL's house (we visit there after we do our "Christmas morning" at home. I don't have an issue with it, and I think the kids actually enjoy that "Santa" knows to drop some presents at each house (it adds to the mystery!). I can see that you want to be Santa, but I don't think this is "stealing your thunder" at all, even though it might feel like it.

magnoliablossom00 · October 2012

MammaBear81:
gymnst1013:
I don't think it's a big deal. Since they are from "santa", the girls won't know who actually bought them. And I was always excited when santa left gifts for us at my grandparents' house.
I agree with this too. "Santa" leaves presents at our house, and my IL's house (we visit there after we do our "Christmas morning" at home. I don't have an issue with it, and I think the kids actually enjoy that "Santa" knows to drop some presents at each house (it adds to the mystery!). I can see that you want to be Santa, but I don't think this is "stealing your thunder" at all, even though it might feel like it.

I don't really feel like it's "stealing my thunder", although I can see how it might come across that way.

We have a lot of boundary and respect issues with them (ex. doing things that we specifically asked them not to that are related to us directly {our wedding, birth of baby} , them lying to us about things, etc). So, I guess I see it more as a "No, this is OUR job now. You get to be grandma and grandpa, WE are the ones in charge of OUR family" type thing. I guess it's hard to explain, but they are constantly undermining our decisions for our family, disrespecting dh and I's authority for our own family, etc.

I feel like it's more of a back-the-heck-off and learn-your-place type of thing. However, I didn't grow up with grandparents who gave us Santa presents, so maybe that's the bias. I have just never heard of this before.

M&M227 · October 2012

magnoliablossom00:
MammaBear81:
gymnst1013:
I don't think it's a big deal. Since they are from "santa", the girls won't know who actually bought them. And I was always excited when santa left gifts for us at my grandparents' house.
I agree with this too. "Santa" leaves presents at our house, and my IL's house (we visit there after we do our "Christmas morning" at home. I don't have an issue with it, and I think the kids actually enjoy that "Santa" knows to drop some presents at each house (it adds to the mystery!). I can see that you want to be Santa, but I don't think this is "stealing your thunder" at all, even though it might feel like it.
I don't really feel like it's "stealing my thunder", although I can see how it might come across that way.
We have a lot of boundary and respect issues with them (ex. doing things that we specifically asked them not to that are related to us directly {our wedding, birth of baby} , them lying to us about things, etc). So, I guess I see it more as a "No, this is OUR job now. You get to be grandma and grandpa, WE are the ones in charge of OUR family" type thing. I guess it's hard to explain, but they are constantly undermining our decisions for our family, disrespecting dh and I's authority for our own family, etc.
I feel like it's more of a back-the-heck-off and learn-your-place type of thing. However, I didn't grow up with grandparents who gave us Santa presents, so maybe that's the bias. I have just never heard of this before.

I get this. My MIL likes to do things that DH and I should do and it annoys me sometimes. I understand she wants to be part of the fun so I try and relax. Usually after I discuss it with DH he agrees and will side with me.

An example, we're going to a kids birthday party tomorrow at Chuck E Cheese for DHs cousin's child. Only people with small kids were invited. MIL said she was going to show up because she wants to see how DD will be there... First, she wasn't invited so that's super weird and second, DD isn't going to do anything, lol, she's so timid, if we're lucky she'll what around and point to things, most likely she'll cling to me and want to be held the whole time.

ElatedMom2B · October 2012

We have always done gifts from Santa at my IL's and my Mom's. It will remain even though they've all moved away from us. Now we will do early gifts from Santa at my brother's when we go for Thanksgiving and we will get gifts that Santa left at my IL's house in FL - through the mail. Honestly, the kids (well, at least my 4 year old and my niece and nephew who are 8 and 6) fall for it and nothing about it confuses them...it all goes out the window once they find out that there are presents for them.

ETA: Santa is magic! Wink

amberpro · October 2012

Santa is magic. He knows where you wake up and where you're going no matter where it is. Having Santa in multiple places just steps up the magic, mystery, and enjoyment of Christmas, IMO. ::insert smiley face since I can't on my phone::

MommaG123 · October 2012

I get what you're saying that it would be weird since they come a week after Christmas. Although at this age I don't think it matters one way or the other.

Santa never "visited" us at either of our grandparents so I agree it's a little weird but it's not something I would make a stink about. KWIM?

LollyBug18 · October 2012

DH and I seem to be the oddballs here but we've already agreed that after this year, we'll be telling grandparents (and others if needed) that Santa will only come from us and only on Christmas morning. But we also want to make sure that Santa is not the focus of Christmas and that the grandparents don't go way overboard in their gift-giving.

klingb52 · October 2012

I agree with PPs that said Santa is "magic." Believe it or not, "Santa" still leaves gifts for me at ILs and my parents. I don't think it is a big deal and actually think that it will help with Santa heartbreak later on when our LOs are old enough to understand Santa a little more. I know that ILs and my parents will be having gifts from "Santa." I would deal with the gifts coming out of the car by having them say that Santa left them at their house and they brought them for your LO so that they could open them. We see my parents after Christmas as well, so this is what we plan on telling our LOs.

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