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working with BM, but nervous

JodyA118JodyA118
in Adoption

Just started working with a BM but we are so nervous that at any point she can change her mind. she is due in january so these next few months are going to be brutal!  For those who went through this before, how often do you usually hear from your BM during this time? I thought it best to leave it up to her...

Any thoughts? This is the closest we've gotten and are cautiously optimistic. 

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Re: working with BM, but nervous

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    IRRIRR member
    Hi.  Congrats on the match.  I am not sure if you are going through an agency or a lawyer.  I usually just try to call or text the EM we are matched with once every week or two.  Now that she is due in 6 weeks, I will probably try to talk or text once a week.  If I don't hear back from her, I don't get upset and usually on the second attempt I will hear back, but it may be a week later.  We know she is working with a social worker but have been told the SW doesn't want to speak with us until the baby is born and the TPR is signed so that the EP's feel like they have someone looking out for their best interests.  Our match to start with through a lawyer which is why we have always spoken directly to the EP's vs. through an agency which is why I asked.  Best of luck.  YES it is nerve wracking to know that at any point the EP's can change their minds.  I know every situation is different, I know our EP's won't parent but we still get nervous they may decide to find other AP's even though we have been matched since June.  This rollercoaster is awful, but hang in there.
    image

    Failed Matches - December 2012, May 2013, December 2013
    Moved on to  gestational surrogacy with a family friend who is our angel and due 7/23/15


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    JodyA118JodyA118
    Thanks so much! we are working with a lawyer so BM has contacted us directly throughout. We heard from her about 4-5 days ago so i guess its really not too long. We can wait another week and jsut check in i guess. Don't want to be too eager but its reassuring when we hear from her and all is positive. She has made contact with our lawyer too which is a good sign. Glad to know this is "normal" and we shouldn't worry. What is meant to be will be....
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