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Blended Families
Phantomgirl
member
Soccer AGAIN!
Phantomgirl
member
Some of you might remember my posts over the years about SS being terrible at soccer.
Well he decided this week he was going back. DH talked to him last week and told him that if he decided to go he was going to all practices and all games. He gave SS a week to consider it and reminded him how distressing it was last year.
Last night SS told us he really wanted to play. This morn DH took him and paid the fees.
DH just called me, they are losing 7 0. SS is in goals and the team are slaughtering him. At half time SS was bawling crying.
What the hell do we do? SS lives for the game but he is beyond terrible at it. He loves soccer and his dream is to be a pro player.
He so badly wants to play but he gets such a hard time on the field. The kids are brutal.
The last few years he has joined then stresses all week about it, goes to about 50 of practices. Pleads to stay home one week, then pleads to go the next week.
Once again DH has paid the fees, bought the boots and day one SS is being crucified.
If we pull him and don't let him play he will blame us. If we continue to 'subject' him to this his self esteem is crushed.
DH called me and he is completely emotional himself.
We took the advice last year and changed teams. This is SS third team.
DH, BM and I are at a loss.
Note: SS will only play in goals. He refuses to go out field. It's the only wax he gets on the pitch.
I hate soccer season!!
Well he decided this week he was going back. DH talked to him last week and told him that if he decided to go he was going to all practices and all games. He gave SS a week to consider it and reminded him how distressing it was last year.
Last night SS told us he really wanted to play. This morn DH took him and paid the fees.
DH just called me, they are losing 7 0. SS is in goals and the team are slaughtering him. At half time SS was bawling crying.
What the hell do we do? SS lives for the game but he is beyond terrible at it. He loves soccer and his dream is to be a pro player.
He so badly wants to play but he gets such a hard time on the field. The kids are brutal.
The last few years he has joined then stresses all week about it, goes to about 50 of practices. Pleads to stay home one week, then pleads to go the next week.
Once again DH has paid the fees, bought the boots and day one SS is being crucified.
If we pull him and don't let him play he will blame us. If we continue to 'subject' him to this his self esteem is crushed.
DH called me and he is completely emotional himself.
We took the advice last year and changed teams. This is SS third team.
DH, BM and I are at a loss.
Note: SS will only play in goals. He refuses to go out field. It's the only wax he gets on the pitch.
I hate soccer season!!
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Re: Soccer AGAIN!
I know I asked this last time, but is there anyway he can get some one-on-one coaching? And can you tell him that if he doesnt go to every practice, (both the individual and team) that he will be pulled from playing that weeks game?
What is it about the game that he loves so much? Does he enjoy the strategy of it? Would he be good as a manager or coaching assistant? I think you said that he wants to be on the field but just thinking out loud.
It's so frustrating for everyone and I'm sorry that you are going through this again.
We are about to have this same conversation with SS. He refuses to do any off season work but expects to be the best player on the Soccer Field.
In Germany, that worked ISH because the team was so small, everyone made it. though not everyone, incuding SS - which he bitched and moaned about.
But now that we are back in the states, he will be competing with kids who play on leagues off season to keep in shape for the season so they can get onto college teams.
DH's belief up to this year, was to let him do it and learn through mistake. But give he has not learned (combo of his personality and not being cut) he wants to try again this spring.
I told DH in no uncertain terms that unless SS did some true prepwork, ie get on a damn winter league and/or do some running/gym work, I will not help him in any way (of course that is also dependent on if SS ever apologizes for implying Im a whore).
I will not subject myself or Monkey to his tirades. DH humpfed and hawed a bit...but knows I mean business and has actually told SS that.
This. I cannot imagine having to deal with that phantom, it would drive me crazy!
I will offer one on ones again this year. He refused last year.
The team he joined is split in two, the A team and B team. SS get put on the B team every week. He offers to be goalie because he is afraid to go out field. Honestly I think the coach groans when he sees him coming. IF he ever puts SS in another position within 3 mins of kick off SS comes off injured. If the ball comes near him he dives and gets 'injured'.
We havd a debrief after every match yet he is determined to continue.
DH andi have been dreading this again this year.
SS plays guitar, does drama, karate, horse riding, you name it we have tried it BUT he goes back to soccer everytime.
He refuses to accept he is no good. We have had the talk a thousand time about the fact that soccer is not his strong point. He won't admit it, he blames everyone but himself. Defence are weak, the other team are great, the coach sucks, DH didn't practice enough with him, it's never him. He insists his injuries are real . All three of us have talked to him together and seperately.
We are going to make him go every week until he says no more, then we are done for good.
He is in full flight blame mode this eve but DH and I are having none of it.
Is there a less competitive league he can play on? That way he gets to play the game he likes without crushing his self esteem..?
That's all I've got. Sorry you're in a tight spot; that's a difficult thing to witness as a parent...
I agree with this. Is there anyone that does extra soccer coaching? Is he the only child in this position? Maybe some extra practices could be organized with him and other kids wanting some more practice in a less formal setting?
SS lives in the closest town to DH and I. He plays for the local 'town' teams. DH and I wanted him to transfer to our local countryside team. He refuses. My dad used to coach a countryside team and he said that at SS age he should be concentrating on learning the game, not playing them. He is only 10.
My two bff's DHs coach and have offered to give SS lessons but SS refuses. Honestly he plays soccer all day every day donors not lack of practice, but always in goals.
SS is very tall for his age and totally uncoordinated. The ball can be right in front of him and chances are he will miss it or kick it sideways. It's excruciating to watch.
For knowledge of the game he is a 10, for skill he is a 1.
DH is just like that. Ball games are not his thing, it was never an issue as he never liked them.