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August 2012 Moms
erjarv
member
Confession time...Anyone else?
erjarv
member
I HATE breastfeeding. I do.
Well, maybe not hate but very extremely and seriously dislike it. I like the fact that it's free, and the fact that I don't have to worry about cleaning bottles..But other than that I really don't like it at all. I've been ready since day 1 for LO to be done nursing. My goal is to go to 6 months, so I have 4 more to go...This is going to be the longest 4 months ever. I feel awful saying that, like I'm missing some maternal thing in me because everybody I know that's breastfed talks about how great it is and how much they loved breastfeeding their kids...I just don't. It's not that I don't like spending quality time with my son or that I'm not attached to him or anything. I love him. I love spending every second of my day with him. I just really don't like breastfeeding.
Anyone else feel that way? Or have some other guilty confession?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Confession time...Anyone else?
I am sort of right there with you. I have supply issues so I had to start supplementing when DD was 1 week old. I have hung in there and continued BF even though after 2-3 hours I am lucky to get 1 to 1.5oz... Since I have that formula feeding experience it is just so much easier, and quicker sometimes to make up some formula instead of trying to bf.
I am going back to work in a week...yuck! and am really debating if I am going to even try to continue bf or just stop. I have a feeling trying to pump at work for an ounce here or there is not really going to be worth it.
I'm an exclusive pumper... so not exactly in the same boat, but I still have a breastfeeding related confession. If I weren't burning 500 calories a day and shedding lbs like crazy, I probably would have quit long ago. So much of breastfeeding is the bond you get to have with your baby, and I don't get that with pumping and bottle feeding. I might as well be giving him formula. I know there's a health component too and that factors into the mix, but I selfishing would like to drop another 15 pounds or so before I quit.
(off to burn another 100 calories...)
Proud Mama to cleft cutie
I EP. Not only do I feel like a slave to my boobs, but to my pump. It'd be great if I could bf because I'd do it everywhere. With EPing I have to find a private place, have storage bottles, insulated bags, and find someone to watch my baby while I pump. If it wasn't free, and healthy for my baby I'd quit in a second.
My initial goal was 6 months only BM. My new goal is 3. One more month!
Um...I lasted 4 days BFing. I was not comfortable with it and DS had a bad latch. Everyone told me to go to a lactation consultant but I was just over it. I don't feel like I would have "bonded" anymore with him if I was BFing. I EPed until 2 weeks ago. I am going back to work and my schedule changes day to day so I didn't want to deal with pumping.
I didn't mind pumping. I would pump for about 15 min every 4 hrs and not at all during the night and I had enough to keep up and store. That being said, I don't miss pumping now that I stopped either.
Ok, I seriously thought there was something wrong with me when I thought everyone LOVED breastfeeding and when it was time for me to do it, it was awful, painful, exhausting. Numerous times a day for the first two months I wanted to give up soooo badly, but then when we gave her formula to give me a break I felt guilty.
I definitely don't absolutely love it. But we've more or less worked out our latching issues and it's so much easier now that she can go 2.5-3 hours and 6-8 hours at night between feedings and does it much quicker, about 45 mins instead of an hour an a half.
I am a recluse though because I still need plenty of space to nurse so leaving the house for more than an hour doesn't happen without a designated nursing room or if I go to a friends house.
I admitted to my husband earlier, and this sounds weird saying it but maybe sometimes this happens to any of you gals, I LOVE when my LO starts talking to me or smiling when she's got boob in her mouth (we do football hold so she's aimed more upwards). I know it's weird but she's just so cute and I feel like it's special time between the two of us.
This. My goal is a year but ill have a better idea once i go back to work in 7 days (boo)
1. LO is hungry every hour.
2. She only eats for 5 minutes at a time but will eat 2 to 3 times in a session, with 10 to 15 minutes in between, so that feedings take anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and sometimes 1.5 hours at night, which means we're back at the beginning of the cycle.
3. She refuses to take a bottle so DH or anyone else can feed her. That means I can count on having to feed her at least once every time we go somewhere, and the rare outings I get by myself are rushed and anxiety ridden because they have to be less than an hour, otherwise DH is stuck helpess with a screaming baby and no way to feed her.
4. She cluster feeds before bedtime, and my supply by then is usually almost tapped out, so I get to watch hef suck frantically on empty breasts while I hope she falls asleep before she realizes she's not getting anything; it rarely works out that way.
I feel trapped, isolated, regretful and often resentful, which I know isn't fair to her since it was my decision to BF. I had grand dreams of going a year, but at this rate 6 months even seems impossibly long.
I bf my first to a year, formula free, and I never really liked it. It made me pretty unhappy. Everyone said it would get better, so I kept waiting for the better, which never really arrived for me. It does change over time, and it is sweet, but I was overwhelmed at being my child's sole source of nutrition, and having to pump even when I had childcare for an afternoon out. As soon as we weaned it was like a cloud was lifted.
So, this time, I am just taking it a day at a time, for as long as it works. Every day it's a gift to my son. My goal is sort of 9 mos this time, but we'll see. Feeding is only one part of parenting, and if the sacrifices to bf outweigh benefits, then it will be time to wean.
My original goal was to EP for a year. I'm going back to work in early Jan when LO will be 6 1 / 2 months. I have several months' supply in the freezer. We'll see how it goes then.
Every single day I wish it were easier but I persist because I feel compelled to.
Kudos to all of us who BF or EP when it is such an effort.
FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN
FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN
No more frosties
IVF #2. September 2014
PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts
SET November 9, 2014
Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN
Not sure where to go from here.
I don't hate BFing, but I definitely agree than BFing and pumping can be a pain (literally) sometimes. There have absolutely been times in the last 3 months when I've wished I could stop. It was so painful the first 10 days, and we've had issues since then off and on with oversupply, forceful letdown, etc. However, I have forced myself to suck it up, because it's the right thing for me and my LO. It's certainly not right for everyone. I just feel like when I stop BFing, it shouldn't be for my own reasons. I don't feel like it's about me anymore, so I keep at it. My goal is to BF for a year. I don't know if it will last that long, particularly when I go back to work ( which will increase my pumping drastically, which will be a pain). I've just tried to look at BFing as one of those mommy things that my baby needs for a limited period of time, and I can do anything for a limited time (like not sleep, which is currently the case!)
ETA: I hope this didn't come off judgey. It's not meant to be at all. I'm just explaining my rationale for why I keep BFing, despite not being a mom who loves every moment.