About to lose my mind- 14m old is suddenly & extremely crabby.

lauren&matt · October 2012

I am normally a very strong and happy person and my 14 month old nearly reduced me to tears yesterday.

Prior to turning 1, I called dd the happiest baby on earth. She's a good sleeper, great eater, and was just all around a very pleasant and easy baby. Something happened on her first bday. She started boycotting her afternoon nap, so we went ahead and dropped her morning nap. I also stopped nursing, and she began going to Mother's Day Out 2x/week. So a lot changed on her first bday. Including her personality.

When she is awake and we are at home, she is crying. At my feet, wanting to be held, crying, wailing, and screaming. The entire time she is awake. It is awful. I can literally get nothing done. We have toys and she has a wonderful big sister who is happy to play with her... but she wants nothing to do with any of it. She just wants me to hold her, standing up of course!!

She is not walking yet, nor does she have many clear words. So I'm not sure if she's frustrated... or if it's something else.

It has to be something I am doing, bc they call her the "golden child" at MDO. She doesn't give them any trouble.

I tried ignoring it yesterday, but she wailed for 30 minutes straight while I folded and put up laundry.

She is WONDERFUL when we leave the house... outings, play dates, restaurants, etc... she only turns into a monster when we're at home. I just don't get it.

Did anyone go through something like this? Any advice or a way to get through it? I hate hearing her cry but I can literally get nothing done around our house. I can maybe get her distracted for like 5 minutes in the playroom with big sis, but as soon as she realizes I'm gone, she starts crying and looking for me.

I am nearly at my breaking point. This has been going on for 7 weeks. Like a switch was found for "fussy baby." My husband travels for work, so it's all me. I don't think there is anything medically wrong bc she is a fabulous sleeper (12 hrs at night and a 2.5 hr nap), eater, and she's great at MDO 12 hours a week.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts!!

twirlyjack73 · October 2012

This exactly is my situation. I've found that if I want my way he freaks,so the only way to avoid the tantrums is to prevent them by always giving in unless it's dangerous. Not sure if that's a great idea, yet the experts do kinda of say that with toddlers you shouldn't say no too much unless it's important. That said how does one find the balance? I could have wrote your post myself. I hope someone out there has good advice as I can't imagine that you can give in when you have another child to worry about- and that's going to be me in 3 months. Somebody help us!!!

themissizz · October 2012

My totally uneducated first guess would be the nursing did you drop cold turkey? I didn't nurse so I don't have experience, but could she be missing the comfort and closeness and alone time that she got with you during the day? Could you maybe try to snuggle with her and read a book or something like that a few times a day?

If it's any consolation, my son is way calmer when we are out and about than he is at home. He goes stir crazy in our house and can be a terror. He also likes to cling to me, but since he is an only, it's not as hard to get chores done and I assumed it was pretty normal because I don't know anything else!

themissizz · October 2012

She could definitely be getting frustrated with not walking. Have you tried any push toys to give her a little help? My son did go through a period where he got really frustrated because he couldn't communicate with us well and wasn't talking much. Maybe try to teach a few basic baby signs.

Those are all of my totally random suggestions :

NotSharknado · October 2012

Dd just turned 14 months and has always been clingy but the past six days have been hell. I have already cried this morning. She does have an ear infection but should be feeling better by now. So I would check just to be safe because even though she has one, she still sleeps and has no other symptoms. Dd just started walking full time last week so that could be it too, also the one year molars have been bugging her for a couple of months. So it's probably all of the above. All I can say is hang in there you're not alone. It's gotta end sooner or later, right? In order for me to get stuff done I give her something she doesn't normally get to play with like the broom or let her dig through a drawer, that buys me a few mins to at least cook. Other stuff just has to wait.

katiewhompus · October 2012

After a sobbing break-down of my own, because DD only throws tantrums when she's with me and I thought it was my fault, my H gave me this little gem.

"She throws tantrums around you because she knows you will still love her. She knows that she's safe around you and can let herself fall apart."

One of my books emphasized that this is normal behavior. They are starting to grow, explore, and venture out, and are met with a ton of frustrations.They dont' know how to deal with those frustrations so they get clingy, whiney, etc. They want to walk/run/jump but can't quite get there, or feed themselves, but arent quite coordinated enough.

Our sanity saver is baby sign language. Dd can tell us exactly what she wants and it fends off a ton of tantrums.

katie4253 · October 2012

I totally remember you posting about how she was a bad sleeper in the beginning. I think that you are just forgetting. Sounds like your LO is just higher needs than you are used to. It will pass. Gabe screams for me, but never flips out for H (if I'm not around). So...I get it. These phases are hard. But, we forget as time passes or at least it seems less terrible.

desdemona39 · October 2012

Did you stop nursing abruptly? Weaning before they're ready can be pretty traumatic.

Also have you tried wearing her if she needs the closeness?

Clinginess and/or sleep regressions are completely normal especially before a big developmental leap. Perhaps she will start walking soon.