Willing to Share Story?

shipsshoessealingwax · October 2012

Hello, Ladies! I am an expecting FTM interested in being a surrogate once DH and I have completed our family, and was hoping perhaps a few of you would be willing to share your experience with me.

I know that surrogacy is performed either by artificial insemination or IVF, but have not experienced either procedure. I've read about the basic nuts and bolts, risks, etc but have no idea how it FEELS or what it's like firsthand.

Also, I would love to hear from anyone who has been or used a surrogate!

shipsshoessealingwax · October 2012

BTW, if this is upsetting or insulting in any way please let me know and I will delete. It is absolutely not my intent to hurt anyones feelings, I am purely seeking information on a medical procedure.

Dragonfly1226 · October 2012

I think it is an amazingly generous gift that you are thinking of giving. If you are going to be a surrogate, I assume you would just go through the equivalent of a frozen embryo transfer cycle. So you would be on estrogen to get your lining to thicken up and then the embryo(s) would be transferred. It is a pretty easy process compared to a full IVF cycle.

kbeach82 · October 2012

Dragonfly1226:
I think it is an amazingly generous gift that you are thinking of giving. If you are going to be a surrogate, I assume you would just go through the equivalent of a frozen embryo transfer cycle. So you would be on estrogen to get your lining to thicken up and then the embryo(s) would be transferred. It is a pretty easy process compared to a full IVF cycle.

This! You must be an extremely generous person :-) The actual embryo transfer that takes place during an IVF cycle is probably the easiest, least uncomfortable part of the process and it's over in a matter of minutes. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

shipsshoessealingwax · October 2012

Thank you ladies, I appreciate your help. My dearest friend has reproductive issues that became apparent in her teens, and she has inspired me so much. It really is not fair that having a child can be so easy for some and nearly impossible for others; it breaks my heart.

I would love to be a surrogate for her some day, and she knows it is an option if she ever decides to make that choice, but it is an expensive and emotional decision that is hers and hers alone to make.

Regardless, I know that bringing a child into any family's life would be an enormous blessing and I am so lucky to have the ability... I feel like it would be such a waste not to spread that blessing and love wherever I can. Thanks again!!

steveandkim2 · October 2012

I just had to say what a truly amazing person you are! Your friend is so lucky to have you in her life! When we were struggling and it looked like we had an egg quality issue, a dear friend offered me her eggs. I can't tell you how much that meant to me!.

LnR70707 · October 2012

The process would depend on whether you want to be a traditional surrogate or a gestational carrier. Physically, traditional is easier if you go the IUI route, as there are generally much less drugs, no anesthesia, and not many restrictions. As Dragonfly said, being a gestational carrier means you'd be doing FET, which is also less involved than fresh IVF, assuming you respond well to Lupron (I didn't and am basically doing the same number of drugs and monitoring as fresh IVF just for a FET). The hardest option is of course fresh IVF.

My fresh cycle was hard in that you are on restricted activity (no exercise, no lifting over 10/15lbs,etc) for the whole time you are on meds until your ovaries return to normal size, which was 9 weeks for me. I was lucky in that I didn't get extreme bloat, but I had to stick to a strict low carb and low sodium diet. I had monitoring with bloodwork 5 days in a row, this time through it is looking like at least 6 days in a row. You will probably need bedrest after retrieval and again after transfer...I'd be prepared to be off work for the entire thing. I didn't feel well enough to leave the house for the 5 days between.

I can't really speak to the emotional toll of a surrogacy, but I'd imagine the stress and fear of failure with someone else's eggs is just as great. It is a wonderful gift though and I wish you the best of luck.

shipsshoessealingwax · October 2012

From what information I have seen, traditional surrogacy is not a legally covered option here in TX. I would be a gestational carrier and if either parent was incapable of producing viable eggs/sperm a 3rd party donor would be used. I would then do the FET. I would be on bed rest for a couple days, then continue on as normal for pregnancy.

I worry about the self injections but that is just fear of the unknown. Are they especially painful?? For just the embryo transfer, would the medication I take affect my ovaries as well or just the uterine lining?

I know thousands of women undergo full IVF every year, and this wouldn't be nearly as involved... it's just strange to think of doing it willingly, not as a last resort. Like donating an organ. That doesn't deter me, but I'm ashamed to admit it is a little intimidating.

LnR70707 · October 2012

LittleLuvBug:
From what information I have seen, traditional surrogacy is not a legally covered option here in TX. I would be a gestational carrier and if either parent was incapable of producing viable eggs/sperm a 3rd party donor would be used. I would then do the FET. I would be on bed rest for a couple days, then continue on as normal for pregnancy. I worry about the self injections but that is just fear of the unknown. Are they especially painful?? For just the embryo transfer, would the medication I take affect my ovaries as well or just the uterine lining? I know thousands of women undergo full IVF every year, and this wouldn't be nearly as involved... it's just strange to think of doing it willingly, not as a last resort. Like donating an organ. That doesn't deter me, but I'm ashamed to admit it is a little intimidating.

For typical FET protocol, you'll be put on birth control and then start Lupron shots. Both of these basically suppress your natural hormones so your body can be tricked into thinking it ovulated when it didn't, so nothing will happen with your ovaries. You'll start Estrace (estrogen) about 10 days after the Lupron and continue that along with the Lupron shots until your lining is thick enough, at which point they'll switch you to progesterone of some form and you'll stop the Lupron. Lupron shots burn, but the needle is tiny (just an insulin syringe) so it isn't bad. The most painful shots are progesterone in oil, but not all REs use them. Those can be done yourself, but they are given in the muscle of your butt and the needle is pretty big, so your DH is probably better to do them. It is very intimidating, but it you take it one step at a time its not so bad.

This website has educational videos on all types of infertility injections.

https://www.freedommedteach.com/player/Videos.aspx

shipsshoessealingwax · October 2012

Thank you so much for your help and for the resources!

I'm not entirely sure how comfortable DH would be sticking a needle in my butt... he's a bit squeamish, Hahaha! Seriously, though I'm sure he would be okay. Just can't wait to see the look on his face when I tell him that part!

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