Jehovah's Witness question

KelliLynee · October 2012

Off topic, I know, but I have a question and I'm hoping the sensitive insightful moms on this board can help. We recently switched babysitters and found what we thought was the perfect person it's an in home group family daycare. Sweet, local momma, who seems to have a similar parenting stule as us. A friend of a friend used to send their kid there and said to me after we signed our girls up, "Did you know she is a Jehovah's Witness?" as if its a big issue, or some big secret she busted.

Other people's religious beliefs are not my business, and it was not/ is not a part of our criteria in choosing a childcare provider. All we care about is that our girls are safely and sensitively cared for, and that our wishes are respected. We chose our new provider because we believe she will do these things for us.

But for some reason and probably just my lack of knowledge on the subject?, I find myself wondering if this girls religion should be of any importance to me. I read up a bit on the religion, and the one thing that keeps coming back to me is that Jehovah's Witness must share the word... And I am concerned that religion will be discussed in front of or worse, preached to my daughters.

I'm not close minded, I am just uninformed and am hoping someone can shed some light for me. Even better if someone here is a Jehovah's Witness!. Do I have anything at all to worry about? Would you care?

If it matters, DH and I are not really religious, and as if yet have not discussed religion, beliefs, higher powers, etc with DD1, mostly because I'm not sure what I believe, so I'm not sure what I want to share with DD besides that everyone has their own beliefs.

myszko · October 2012

I am no help, but very interested to see what everyone says! My sister's FIL is a Jehovah's Witness and he doesn't try to influence her beliefs. I know that he doesn't celebrate holidays and that's about all I know. I would think that it varies within the religion. I have Christians in my family who talk about God and Jesus ALL of the time and try to convert everyone they come across, then I have others who don't talk about their religion at all.

KelliLynee · October 2012

myszko:
I am no help, but very interested to see what everyone says! My sister's FIL is a Jehovah's Witness and he doesn't try to influence her beliefs. I know that he doesn't celebrate holidays and that's about all I know. I would think that it varies within the religion. I have Christians in my family who talk about God and Jesus ALL of the time and try to convert everyone they come across, then I have others who don't talk about their religion at all.

Totally. And I am not one to make assumptions about people based on religion, etc. I would like to think if DD talks excitedly about her Halloween costume (or any other holiday talk) that the sitter will just brush it off rather than trying to talk a 3 year old out of celebrating/believing, etc.

PayolaCrayola · October 2012

KelliLynee:
myszko:
I am no help, but very interested to see what everyone says! My sister's FIL is a Jehovah's Witness and he doesn't try to influence her beliefs. I know that he doesn't celebrate holidays and that's about all I know. I would think that it varies within the religion. I have Christians in my family who talk about God and Jesus ALL of the time and try to convert everyone they come across, then I have others who don't talk about their religion at all.
Totally. And I am not one to make assumptions about people based on religion, etc. I would like to think if DD talks excitedly about her Halloween costume (or any other holiday talk) that the sitter will just brush it off rather than trying to talk a 3 year old out of celebrating/believing, etc.

Im not a Witness but I can tell you my experience. One of my best friend's is a Witness and she is VERY involved. When she was working with me she would take the train in to work 2 1/2hrs early to pass out pamphlets and pray with ppl....then she would do it again on the way home...EVERYDAY. Her husband is a minister at their Kingdom Hall and she is one of the nicest, kindest ppl Ive ever met. BUT...I grew up Catholic and I hate to admit that prior to meeting her I had all these misconceptions on JW's....so when I met her I immediately was like "im Catholic" and she laughed. We talked and agreed that religion would stay out of our friendship and if we were ever curious we could ask each other questions and leave it at that. That was almost 10yrs ago

My other experience was one of my cousins was taken care of in home from practically birth by a Witness. My aunt didnt really push any sort of religion on her kids so my cousin grew up going with her "nana" to meetings and prayed with them and everything.

My advice would be to be upfront and just explain how you feel about religion and make sure that its not pushed on your kids. If you dont say anything its likely that they will be exposed to it depending on how devout this person is.

KelliLynee · October 2012

PayolaCrayola:
KelliLynee:
myszko:
I am no help, but very interested to see what everyone says! My sister's FIL is a Jehovah's Witness and he doesn't try to influence her beliefs. I know that he doesn't celebrate holidays and that's about all I know. I would think that it varies within the religion. I have Christians in my family who talk about God and Jesus ALL of the time and try to convert everyone they come across, then I have others who don't talk about their religion at all.
Totally. And I am not one to make assumptions about people based on religion, etc. I would like to think if DD talks excitedly about her Halloween costume (or any other holiday talk) that the sitter will just brush it off rather than trying to talk a 3 year old out of celebrating/believing, etc. 

Im not a Witness but I can tell you my experience. One of my best friend's is a Witness and she is VERY involved. When she was working with me she would take the train in to work 2 1/2hrs early to pass out pamphlets and pray with ppl....then she would do it again on the way home...EVERYDAY. Her husband is a minister at their Kingdom Hall and she is one of the nicest, kindest ppl Ive ever met. BUT...I grew up Catholic and I hate to admit that prior to meeting her I had all these misconceptions on JW's....so when I met her I immediately was like "im Catholic" and she laughed. We talked and agreed that religion would stay out of our friendship and if we were ever curious we could ask each other questions and leave it at that. That was almost 10yrs ago

My other experience was one of my cousins was taken care of in home from practically birth by a Witness. My aunt didnt really push any sort of religion on her kids so my cousin grew up going with her "nana" to meetings and prayed with them and everything.

My advice would be to be upfront and just explain how you feel about religion and make sure that its not pushed on your kids. If you dont say anything its likely that they will be exposed to it depending on how devout this person is.

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I was thinking as the winter holidays approach I can just express that as there are obviously very different beliefs out there, I would prefer for DH I to be the ones to teach about the different beliefs and field any questions, etc. I don't want to say "hey I heard you're a witness..."

tokenhoser · October 2012

I probably would say "Hey, I heard you're a JW." and just get it out there. You should be able to just talk frankly to the person you trust with your children. It's way easier than beating around the bush.

If you want to know how she's dealing with your kids, ask her. If you want to suggest what you find appropriate, suggest it. Talk to her. I've never found JW shy about talking about their beliefs... I mean, they come to my doorstep to discuss it. Surely they'd be cool with talking about it when I came to THEIR doorstep.

phdprocrastinator · October 2012

I worked with a girl whose family was JW. Before that experience, I had never really interacted with a Witness. I have to say, her mother was one of the nicest, happiest moms I've worked with. Other than letting me know upfront not to mention holidays, it was never a big deal. She'd refer to going to Kingdom Hall, and I knew she did door-to-doors on Saturdays, but it was talked about in the same way my Jewish friends might mention going to synagogue..

If I were you, I'd use the upcoming holidays as an opening for a quick talk. Something like, "Hey, I heard you're JW. We'll be celebrating holidays and I was wondering what your stance is on the holidays." This way you let her know upfront that you already have an established belief system, but that you're cool with hers - as long as she doesn't preach it

brinaroze1 · October 2012

I have been one of Jehovah's Witnesses since birth. I work in retail and often have to respond to people telling me "Merry Christmas" and such. I always just smile back and say "You have a nice day, too."

Anyway, we DO go house to house talking about our beliefs to people, and even "informally" (meaning at work and to friends, etc.). I wouldn't imagine your daycare provider would try to preach to your children, though. That just seems really unprofessional, in my opinion. Talking to kids about our beliefs is something I would only do IF the parents were cool with it. (For example, to my husband's niece and nephew.)

I would definitely talk to her and let her know what you're comfortable with and your expectations. As a group, we respect and value other peoples' opinions. We do not force our views on anyone. She may even try to keep her religion and employment separate, so as to avoid offending her clients.

Hope that helps, and that everything goes well.

KelliLynee · October 2012

brinaroze1:
I have been one of Jehovah's Witnesses since birth. I work in retail and often have to respond to people telling me "Merry Christmas" and such. I always just smile back and say "You have a nice day, too." Anyway, we DO go house to house talking about our beliefs to people, and even "informally" meaning at work and to friends, etc.. I wouldn't imagine your daycare provider would try to preach to your children, though. That just seems really unprofessional, in my opinion. Talking to kids about our beliefs is something I would only do IF the parents were cool with it. For example, to my husband's niece and nephew.I would definitely talk to her and let her know what you're comfortable with and your expectations. As a group, we respect and value other peoples' opinions. We do not force our views on anyone. She may even try to keep her religion and employment separate, so as to avoid offending her clients. Hope that helps, and that everything goes well.

Thank you so much!

nosoup4u · October 2012

PayolaCrayola:
My advice would be to be upfront and just explain how you feel about religion and make sure that its not pushed on your kids. If you dont say anything its likely that they will be exposed to it depending on how devout this person is.

This. I would ask her directly if there's any talk of religion at her daycare.

I personally have issues with JWs, but as long as she keeps it to herself, I would be okay with it.

footnotegirl · October 2012

What a religion states and what the followers actually do are frequently very different things. This is perhaps something you should talk about with her. Things you might be concerned with:

Sharing the word/proselytizing is a big part of being a Jehovah's Witness. There is a high likelihood that she will be doing this with your daughter, but it is by no means certain. Talk to her about it! If that's a concern for you, make sure to let her know how you feel about religious talk around your child.

Restrictions on holidays. Birthdays, Christmas, etc will most likely not be celebrated by her. This is probably not a big deal, but sending her to daycare all excited about her birthday may not go over well.

Restriction on blood transfusions. Luck forbid it should ever happen, but Jehovah's Witnesses are absolutely against blood transfusions. If she were in charge of making a sudden decision in an emergency, she might choose against having a blood transfusion. You should let her know if you would have her choose otherwise. This is clearly unlikely to ever happen, and even if it did I am sure she would respect your choices about your child.

brinaroze1 · October 2012

footnotegirl:
What a religion states and what the followers actually do are frequently very different things. This is perhaps something you should talk about with her. Things you might be concerned with:
Sharing the word/proselytizing is a big part of being a Jehovah's Witness. There is a high likelihood that she will be doing this with your daughter, but it is by no means certain. Talk to her about it! If that's a concern for you, make sure to let her know how you feel about religious talk around your child.
Restrictions on holidays. Birthdays, Christmas, etc will most likely not be celebrated by her. This is probably not a big deal, but sending her to daycare all excited about her birthday may not go over well.
Restriction on blood transfusions. Luck forbid it should ever happen, but Jehovah's Witnesses are absolutely against blood transfusions. If she were in charge of making a sudden decision in an emergency, she might choose against having a blood transfusion. You should let her know if you would have her choose otherwise. This is clearly unlikely to ever happen, and even if it did I am sure she would respect your choices about your child.

While we DO preach in many different forms, talking to kids without the permission of their parents (at least in MY opinion) isn't cool. As a daycare provider, I would think she would keep that sort of thing to a minimum. It's hard when a kid asks why we don't celebrate holidays and birthdays, but you CAN do it WITHOUT preaching. Simple is always best.

As far as blood transfusions, does a daycare provider even have the LEGAL right to decide on medical treatment for a child? I can't see that happening. Aren't you supposed to have some sort of medical directive in place stating your wishes for your child if you aren't present to take care of the situation?

Here's a post I found on how to write a medical release: https://www.ehow.com/how_12694_write-release-allow.html

Just because we have certain beliefs for ourselves doesn't mean we're going to force them on everyone else.

footnotegirl · October 2012

As I noted in the unbolded parts, I would trust that with information from the parents, any religious person (JW or not) would follow what the parents requested. I certainly didn't want to give the impression that I thought the daycare provider would go against what the parent wanted!

brinaroze1 · October 2012

footnotegirl:
As I noted in the unbolded parts, I would trust that with information from the parents, any religious person (JW or not) would follow what the parents requested. I certainly didn't want to give the impression that I thought the daycare provider would go against what the parent wanted!

Oh, I'm sorry I took it that way. I apologize. I do think that it is best to have a medical release and talk about your wishes ahead of time, though. Better safe than sorry.

wifeofadam · October 2012

I liken this to sending your child to a religious preschool or daycare when you aren't religious. Will religion be discussed at times by your child's caregiver? Possibly. Your child may see the sitter praying over her meal or something like that. Is religion going to be shoved down your child's throat? Probably not.

Would you feel comfortable sending your child to a religious preschool?

I think the most important thing is finding the best caregiver for your child - one that keeps them safe, makes them feel loved and one who is fun for your child to be around. You want someone you can trust. Any questions that your child may come to you with about what they experience or see can simply be handled by telling your child what you believe.

SunnyMuffin · October 2012

If you like her it doesn't matter

Some of their theology is a bit strange but you would never know unless you got into a debate about the differences, they are perfectly nice people

NYGirl02 · October 2012

If you are really uncomfortable with religion being spoken about with your daughter, I would definitely talk with her and discuss what you are comfortable with.

IMO, as long as nothing is being shoved down her throat, religion being brought up is not a big deal. If anything, I think it would be a wonderful opportunity to discuss with your daughter what your beliefs are and how that can differ from other people's beliefs.

I love when Jehovah's Witnesses come to my door. I have always found them to be loving and kind, friendly, and very pleasant. I think they are often very good with children as well.

thatoneredhead · October 2012

I would really like my child to know that it is respectful to close your eyes and hold your hands when other people pray and that it can be interesting to be allowed into people spiritual lives.

I would like him to be comfortable and respectful of other people beliefs, so I would just wait and talk about it.

I work in a hospital- there is no way that your child is going to be bleeding to death and the doctor is going to throw up his hands and say, "Sorry! Babysitter said no." I mean, I guess you can make sure, but I cannot see that happening.

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