Is anyone here's XHB or XBF an addict?

Re: Is anyone here's XHB or XBF an addict?

• septmom11 member

  October 2012

  Yes.  Pills and god knows what else.  he hasnt held a stable job in years so CS is a joke.  He doesnt try to see DD or ever contact me about her so i dont really have to worry about him being around.  I have sole custody so if he ever cleans up his act and wants to be in her life he can file for visitation himself

  

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• PrincessFiona9 member

  October 2012

  X used to be an addict. I haven't been to AlAnon, but I think he will always be an addict and that these things will always tempt him no matter how long he's been clean. It worries me, but we have it in our court order that I can order him to take a drug test anytime if I feel suspicious that he's using again and if he fails all visits are suspended for 30 days and he presents a clean test.

  

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• nataliekristin

  October 2012

  My husband is an addict, and its a difficult road. Let me tell you, change is voluntary. If he isn't choosing to be sober and get help, no one can force it on him or open his eyes. That is the sad reality. There is nothing you can do to get him to be sober unless he does it himself. Praying for your family.

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• ninambutler member

  October 2012

  My ex-boyfriend is addicted to opiates and I myself am a recovering opiate addict. He went to detox and rehab when I found out I was pregnant and is currently almost 4 months sober and living in a halfway house. We broke up when I found out he was still using right around the time I found out I was pregnant. Even though I am not perfect and had relapsed myself prior to my pregnancy, I know my intentions, but I don't know his. He is trying to get his life straight and if he is still successful at that when our daughter arrives, I will give him a chance as both a partner to myself and a father.

  I can't tell you what to do. Only you know. But it sounds like you need to think long and hard about allowing him near your children. He is obviously not serious about or ready for sobriety and this is likely not the best situation for your children. It is tough to way the costs and benefits of such a huge decision. It is important for your children to have their father around, but if his influence is hurtful or detrimental, you may need to draw a line until he can change his ways. I know how hard this is, and can't imagine how tough it is with a 3 year old who knows and will miss him. You will be in my prayers.
  

  
  
  

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• alexandria921 member

  October 2012

  My XBF has a very bad alcohol problem...he knows he needs to stop but refuses to acknowledge that he needs help with stopping. He says that he is the one that got himself into this addiction and he can be the one to control it. I am slowly coming to accept the fact that he is in denial and may never stop drinking no matter how bad I want him to. His drinking problem has led him to do some terrible things to me including being abusive, controlling and now causing me to be homeless and live in a homeless shelter until I can get home with my family out of state. And through all of that I still love him and hold a small bit of hope that we can someday be a family however I am also slowly realizing that this hope may NEVER be a reality. I have to move on with my life and be happy for me and my unborn baby. The child deserves the best out of life and I intend to do everything I can to give it to him or her even if that means no dad. Maybe my child will forgive me and him for the circumstances and be able to understand why I made the choice to keep dad out of the picture. I hope the best for you and your LO's.

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