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October 2011 Moms
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I'm a bush....

Elsa1984Elsa1984 member
in October 2011 Moms
SO's great aunt passed away a few days ago. And although he wasn't close to her, it was his beloved deceased grandma's sister.....now there is only one if the siblings left and we are close to him.

We got the funeral info today.....it's on the 30th....Gator's 1st birthday. And they ask SO to help out and be a pall bearer. It's a catholic funeral, and things are planned almost all day, starting at 10am and going until around 5pm. I feel like such a bush that I am annoyed. We also had made a deal that Gator wouldn't go into a church until she decided for herself if she wanted to go, which means I would have to get a sitter because if my mom found out she went into a church she would hold it above my head because I absolutely refuse to let Gator in my grandma's church. But to spend all day at a funeral, on my daughter's first birthday, for someone I never met, while Gator is with a sitter....I am not thrilled.
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Re: I'm a bush....

  • cantalopes24cantalopes24 member
    I think bringing her into a church for funeral service is different than attending a regular mass.
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  • ChunstadChunstad member

    Oh Elsa, I'm sorry.  To tell the truth, I'd be annoyed, too.  Unfortunately, we have to do this kind of crap for family.  And if he's a pall-bearer, there really isn't any way that he could duck out early. 

    I do agree with lopes.  If you guys aren't Catholic, you wouldn't participate in Mass.  However, that is your belief, and I respect that.

    Do you have to go?  You could always stay home and spend a nice day with Gator, then do the party on another day.  You'd still have Gator time on her special day.  There really isn't any way to put a positive spin on this situation.

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  • cantalopes24cantalopes24 member
    imageChunstad:

    Oh Elsa, I'm sorry.  To tell the truth, I'd be annoyed, too.  Unfortunately, we have to do this kind of crap for family.  And if he's a pall-bearer, there really isn't any way that he could duck out early. 

    I do agree with lopes.  If you guys aren't Catholic, you wouldn't participate in Mass.  However, that is your belief, and I respect that.

    Do you have to go?  You could always stay home and spend a nice day with Gator, then do the party on another day.  You'd still have Gator time on her special day.  There really isn't any way to put a positive spin on this situation.

    Yeah and I was thinking along the lines of her mom getting mad. She really can't be mad because it's not like they're going to church for the actual religious aspect.  I would either take Gator or stay home and have YH tell them he needs to leave after the cemetery.

     

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  • FianschneidFianschneid member
    I'm in the stay home with Gator camp. DH needs to go but your baby is a perfect excuse not to attend.
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  • missyisheremissyishere member
    I would also vote for staying home. Funerals are depressing anyway, and you planned on a day of fun and celebration for your child. 


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  • Ariana2O11Ariana2O11 member

    or you can get a sitter for an hour or two and pay your respects, make sure his family sees you there and then go home and have mommy time with Gator the rest of the day.

    another option, like pp stated, having a baby is a good excuse not to go at all and just call the family and give them your condolences. 

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  • Elsa1984Elsa1984 member
    Out of respect for SO and his great uncle, I do feel I should go. I am trying to figure out a way where maybe I could get a sitter for Gator and attend part of the memorial service but not all. There is no way Gator would sit for even 30min so I think bringing her would be out of the question. We are having her party on Sunday, so it's not affecting the party but I still wanted to spend her actual birthday with her doing whatever we wanted....certainly not spending the day at a depressing funeral. I guess the positive spin is that my SIL will be leaving town on Sunday so my SO cannot try and convince me to leave Gator with her as a sitter....she is nuts.
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  • Elsa1984Elsa1984 member
    imageAriana2O11:
    or you can get a sitter for an hour or two and pay your respects, make sure his family sees you there and then go home and have mommy time with Gator the rest of the day. another option, like pp stated, having a baby is a good excuse not to go at all and just call the family and give them your condolences.nbsp;


    We must have been typing at the same time! Haha
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  • Ariana2O11Ariana2O11 member
     jinx!
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  • Idomoodou2Idomoodou2 member

    I would probably get a sitter (possibly someone who might want to spend gator's birthday with her) and then bow out of the funeral after the service and spend the rest of the day with her. 

    I just recently went to a catholic funeral for my grandfather and NEVER would have through about bringing L to it. She did come to the lunch afterwards, but only because my grandmother specifically asked for her.  

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