Callen's Fast Natural Hospital Birth

dfissori · October 2012

Normal 0 MicrosoftInternetExplorer4

I didn?t post on any boards while pregnant but I faithfully stalked natural birth stories. And soooo glad I did, so I thought I would share our wild ride! (Sorry it's so long I really did try to condense...I put a few headers so you can skip around if you're bored

My water broke around 8am; it wasn?t a ton of fluid so I wasn?t sure at first but after calling the birth center and having several more gushes we decided that?s what it was. I wasn?t having any contractions so I took a walk, bounced on the ball and got the house ready.

Contractions Start a little after 2pm -My mom showed up to help with our daughter and we threw her in the stroller again for a walk. This time I meant business and took us to the cemetery. I know that sounds crazy but it?s the best workout in town because it has crazy hills and I figured if that didn?t work then I was in trouble. We walked those steep paths for a while and I was cramping a little but nothing more then period cramps (All during labor I kept waiting for them to turn into ?real? contractions and shift from squeezing down low to my whole belly or around my waist but they never did. The pain stayed low like a period cramp but got WAY worse then cramps). We got back a little before 2pm and I paced the living room and bounced on the ball. By 2:40 I was uncomfortable with cramps but doing fine. Started timing them and they were 2 minutes apart!!!! Since they were only about 30-40 seconds I didn?t want to go into the hospital; I wanted to be there as little as possible! Kept timing them and walking around with my mom and husband just watching me. I knew they wanted me to go in but they were great about not saying much about it. I still felt totally fine and not sure it was the real thing yet.

Right after speaking with a nurse who said it sounded like my uterus was still figuring out what it wanted to do I had two contractions back to back. I came out of the bathroom and said we should probably go. The pain was still not bad but with them being so close I felt better being around the hospital even if we weren?t checking in because we live 35-40 minutes away.

I think we jumped in the car around 4:30pm. At this time they were 1-2minutes apart lasting anywhere from 45 seconds to a minute. Still not so bad. I don?t think we were in the car long when the intensity picked up and I was really working through each contraction. We got to the hospital a little after 5pm and I had 3 contractions walking into the birth center, which isn?t far from the parking lot. I really hoped I wasn?t being a whimp and they were going to tell me I was 3-4cm!

Arrived at Birth Center at 5:10 They got us in a room and once I was checked I was 4-5. ?That?s IT?!? I said. Everything picked up from the time we got there and I was breathing and started doing the HA HA HA breathing noises. Around 7:10 I told the nurse ?I think I?m pushing!? She checked me and said ?You?re 5 cm? and proceeded to tell me I just didn?t know what was going on because it was my first. (We were blessed with the birth of our daughter through adoption) I was confused because I really thought I knew what I was feeling; my contractions were on top of each other and I was shaking pretty bad. But only 5??? I got worried and started asking for the epidural. The contractions were bad but not to the point I thought I couldn?t handle them but I couldn?t imagine trying to keep going with what I felt was my body pushing at only 5cm.

Fully Dilated around 7:20 This was where my husband got a little worried; I had told him for the past 9 months not to let me get the epidural, no matter what I said! I could see the struggle in his eyes and inside I was a little amused. He was screwed either way and he knew it. I laid there and waited to see what he was going to do. HAHA. He just kept asking if I was sure. I said yes. The anesthesiologist came in and as she was setting up my body really started pushing. I said, ?I?m really pushing!? The nurse didn?t seem happy she had to check me again after only about 10 minutes. Once she did she said you?re 8?9cm! We were all shocked! That?s when the real work began, the nurse started yelling at me to stop pushing because my dr wasn?t there (so stupid). I did try at first but there?s no stopping that train once it?s started! That was one of the hardest parts?.feeling that unstoppable urge to push and being yelled at to STOP! I was able to resist until the peak of a contraction and then it just wasn?t possible! And without a doubt the most painful part of giving birth was that pressure in my bottom. There?s just no describing the feeling that you will explode from your tushie because the baby is coming out there! I should say that feeling was only when the baby was moving down; once they said they could see him it had passed enough that I wasn?t freaking out about ripping from my bottom. Compared to that feeling the actual delivery was NOTHING!

I wasn?t a fan of my delivery nurse at all. She called my doctor when I was 10 cm and while on the phone with her said in an annoyed voice, ?she?s not resisting the urge to push? to which I screamed, ?I?M TRYING!? She then told my husband the baby is at 0 station so he won?t be coming out in 10 minutes or anything. Ok maybe he didn?t come out in 10 minutes but it wasn?t much longer!!!!

So there we were, them screaming at me not to push and me not being able to do anything about it. At one point I finally yelled at the nurse, ?You screaming at me not to push isn?t helping!? My doctor arrived around 7:40-45 and gave me a little instruction but pretty much just let me follow my body. She did want me to curl around the baby and not arch my back. No one said anything about all my yelling (and boy did I ever, although my husband has sweetly assured me I wasn?t as crazy as I remember) which surprised me. The doctor quickly asked for the squat bar to be brought out and I delivered laying in the bed pulling on a towel from the bar (not what I thought I wanted but once I climbed into bed the last hour I was not moving).

Unlike a lot of stories I read I didn?t find pushing a relief, nor did I get a break in between the contractions. Pushing is an amazing sensation; your body just takes over whether you?re with it or not. The doctor kept telling me to wait for a contraction to push, and in my head I was thinking ?Do you think I?m doing this for FUN?? but I was having them on top of each other so I would push, yell (more from the crazy sensation and pressure in my bottom then pain. It?s hard to describe that point), breathe and repeat. I was very aware of what was going on around me I just didn?t respond to any of it. Afterwards I kept asking my husband if I said such and such or if I was just thinking it and he always says I must have been thinking it. At one point I did say, ?Why are there so many people here?? and my doctor looked around and said, ?Why ARE there so many people??. Apparently, they weren?t happy I ?wouldn?t? stop pushing and were frantically trying to find an on call doctor and the room was FULL of nurses. We laugh about that now.

Internal Monitor around 7:55 Because he was coming out so fast they couldn?t find him on the monitors at all. The nurses kept pushing the monitors into my belly during a contraction and I kept yelling at them to please stop because it hurt so bad! My husband says that?s the only time he got really worried. The doctor decided an internal was necessary, which I really didn?t want, but I trusted her not to do it unless it was necessary. It worked and he sounded good. After only a couple of minutes of actual pushing they could see the top of his head. I think this is the only part I really wish had gone differently; I really wanted to use a mirror to watch the birth but the hospital doesn?t have them and somehow ours was in the car.

I remember my husband saying, ?he has dark hair like you babe?. At that point I reached down and cradled his not yet crowning head in my hand and pushed him out. I don?t think anyone said to do that and I don?t remember why I did it. I just did. I?m so glad I had that moment because it was truly amazing to birth his head into my own hand. Since I didn?t get to see his birth that moment is what I think of when I remember everything. And I think that?s why I was able to push him out so fast; I felt what I was doing. I do remember thinking his head was too small! Once his head was out I didn?t even have time to finish my thought of ?oh crap the shoulders? before he was out. It was like one motion for his head and body. (My husband says he literally saw his head, leaned in to say he has dark hair and give me a kiss and he was out before he looked back) I didn?t feel any burning, ring of fire or even stretching, just a little stinging down low where I tore. It felt similar to but not near as bad as the massage the doctor was doing just before he came down. Which incidentally hurt worse then the pushing at that point and I reached down and grabbed her hands right out of me!

Once he was out I was still shaking pretty bad and worried I would drop him or something. So I kept asking my husband to hold onto him, which I?m sure wasn?t necessary Smile We got some skin to skin time and because they could tell he was small (5 lbs 11 oz at 39 weeks) he went to be checked out by the nursery nurse. He stayed in the room at that time and the doctor was good to point out they needed to raise me up so I could see him at the bassinet. I was pretty dazed and didn?t make a stink about him being taken away from me like I thought I would. The doctor stitched me up and I found out I take after my mom and numbing meds wear off on me instantly because I felt everything. Yikes. My doctor was really surprised because she gave me plenty of medicine, but apparently it runs in my family!

Reflections - Once I was cleaned up and Callen was back to mommy we snuggled and started nursing. I definitely wouldn?t say I experienced that natural high people talk about. I shook for a couple of hours afterward and was kind of out of it for a while. Looking back it was the birth I always hoped for and never thought I would get because it was a high risk pregnancy. I labored less then 6 hours, 2.5 hours at the hospital (I kept saying I wanted to get there to push and leave), and it was unmedicated. I know I was way too close to getting the epidural and wish I could say I was stronger, but feeling my body push at 5cm was so crazy I didn?t know what could be going on. I really wish I could have remained more calm or even somewhat calm but that just didn?t happen. I told my husband don?t let me lose control and act like a crazy person. For 9 months I was obsessed with the idea that I would scream and be so embarrassed. And that?s exactly what I did. Things went so fast there was nothing I felt I could do but yell! I?ve started saying I roared my baby out! I could hear myself and knew I was insanely loud and probably scaring everyone on the floor but it?s what I had to do. I told my husband it?s literally a reaction to your body pushing that forces the voice out of you!

My husband was amazing and never wavered or looked worried. He was calm and firm while directing me. He maintained eye contact the whole time but for some reason I felt the need to focus on the ceiling or wall. We weren't able to find any classes that worked for us so I simply immersed myself in natural birth research. I read the Birth Partner (and husband read some of it), The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth, Ina May and watched every video I could find. If there is a next time I would like to take a class to remain calm and in control. I really am surprised that I never thought I was going to die (it?s really not that kind of pain), I didn?t really feel scared (other then when my body pushed at 5cm) even with that horrible pressure pain in my bottom it was like I almost welcomed it because it meant things were happening and I was doing what I needed to and it was almost like a challenge to push through it (so I felt proud of myself everytime I held a long push). And I really don?t ever remember thinking I couldn?t do it. My husband says I never said that either. Not even when I asked for the epidural did I think I can?t do it; just that I had to stop the pushing sensation because it was too soon! But like my husband and recovery nurses told me, I did it! Doesn't matter how I did it but I birthed my baby. And what an amazing miracle he is!