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Two Under 2
Breast feeding vs. Fomula feeding-Advise please!!
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I'm torn right now...I started BF'ing DS when he was born 4 days ago. Well my milk wasn't coming in and so we started to have to sup with fomula. Well now I'm home and my milk has started to come in but DD is 18 months old and I really don't have the 30-40 mins each time to sit down and feed him. I feel awful! I EBF DS for 6 months. Part of me feels like if I don't BF that I'm letting him down or something. So since we've been home I today I've been pumping and he's been being feed by bottle that was DH has also feed him and I'll be able to sleep alittle. ( Because of DD; DH wasn't able to stay at the hospital with me besides for the 1st night. I have not been able to get much sleep). Anyway, I need some help with it being okay with only FF DS and not BF. When I spoke with the LC at the hospital she told me to hire and mommy helper and to get myself a cooler for when I am feeding DS and DD would have things right there to eat and I wouldn't have to stop when I was doing to get it for her. Anyone EBF your 1st child and then FF the ones following? I was going to EP but I read into that and it seems to be just as much work as EBF. Thanks! |
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Re: Breast feeding vs. Fomula feeding-Advise please!!
I have no experience with FF. It sounds as if you feel guilty you don't have time for your first, and you're afraid of being guilty for not bf-ing the second to 6 mos. As a compromise, would you consider partially bf-ing (mornings/ evenings when your dh is home and during your toddler nap time)?
I don't understand the idea of feeding your toddler when you're feeding the baby (bf or ff.) I don't feed my toddler while I am bf unless it's a meal time, but I do make sure she is occupied in a defined space and I am with her. I am tired but they are both happy.
I ebfed DD until I got pg with DS. I had no issues and a huge freezer supply...she never had a bottle or formula.
I ebfed DS but stopped 4 months into it and went to formula. I had mastitis 5x in 3 months and was miserable. I had guilt going on formula but more guilt for trying to take care if 2 kids with 103 fever and s weak I couldn't get up the stairs (and had NO help)
having both experiences they both have pros and cons. I actually felt better with formula, it was nice to have other people be able to watch him without rushing back and he could be fed by others but formula was very expensive and he had GI issues so it was $25 a container and it lasted less than a week.
My DD never slept through the night or really learned to self sooth because she always wanted breast to self sooth and since I didn't really know how much she ate so I would bfed her again. Both my kids started to STTN when they weaned on formula. Maybe it was just a fluke....who knows.
Do what's best for you and don't have regrets. Both kids are very healthy, hardly get sick and recover the same time when ill (one isn't stronger health wise). Both were chunky babies and now healthy toddlers....and I git healthy and happy again too!
Honestly, I didn't have much trouble BFing with 2u2. DD and DS are 16 months apart, and I just made sure she had a little box of toys or a book to read while I was BFing DS. I even did it while my husband was deployed. To be honest, when I transitioned to bottles (at 10 months old), I thought it was waaaaaaaaaaay more work than BFing. All of the cleaning parts, mixing formula, etc. IMHO, whipping out a boob was easier. I mean, you still have to sit and feed your child with a bottle - it still requires that you occupy your older child. The only difference is that one requires no prep/clean up while they other doesn't.
There is no question that BFing is healthier for your baby. But I certainly think that you need to do what is best for your family. If that means formula - so be it. Just think it through and give BFing a fair shot. It is definitely possible and your older LO will be fine
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Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
I ended up BFing both of mine. #2 was terrible at BFing in the hospital - she wouldn't latch, it would take me at least 30 min just to get her to try to latch, then each feeding was at least another 30 min. I started crying to the LC on my last day at the hospital that there was no way I could BF her if this was what it was like - I had a 15 month old at home to take care of too. She totally understood and basically said give it a shot, but if it doesn't work, you have to do what you have to do.
Thankfully DD figured it out right as we left the hospital and BFing her ended up not being so bad. I would feed her just about every 3 hours (neither of mine were babies that lived on the breast - I did EASY with them and it ended up being every 2-3 hours between feeds). So lets say I did 6am, 9am, 12pm, 3pm, 6pm, 9pm, etc - I would feed the 6am when DS was still asleep, 9am while DS either played with toys around me or watched a show, 12pm was during his lunch, 3pm he was usually still napping, and 6pm was during his dinner. 9pm he was in bed.
Of course it didn't always work out this way, especially in the beginning, but it was always my goal. I tried to make it so DD was eating during DS's meal times or snack times, and always tried to get out of the house right after she ate (so after the 9am feeding, or 3pm feeding) to give us the most amount of time before she was hungry again. If we had activities to do that didn't line up with the schedule, I would plan ahead to get her to be between feeds at that time. I also used to keep snacks and books in my diaper bag for DS, in case I did need to feed DD on the go - he would eat his snack then I could read a book to him while I was BFing.
All that said, I agree with the others - if BFing is not working for you and making you and your kiddos miserable, don't do it. I almost didn't, but then figured out a schedule/plan that worked for me.. Good luck to you - it is hard at the beginning, but you will figure out what works best for you and soon it will be your new normal!
In theory your baby is supposed to empty the bottle in 5-15 minutes (depending on age). However some babies take a long time like 30 min, so you might have the same problem. Breastfeeding can be stressful, so can making bottles, but if think you have a chance with cutting your time I would. Stress hormones can't be very tasty!
Honestly this time around I'm not sure if I will make it past a month but just as I did my first I set small goals..
One week... One month... One more month.. And it became easier each week except when I went back to work
So that's my plan!
But don't feel guilty either way! A happy mom is better for both than a miserable one!