Going Insane!

MamaBumble · October 2012

*This is going to be long. But I'm desperate for a rant.*

I'm pretty sure that I'm going to end up in the loony bin.

My son is clingy, but doesn't want to be held. If I step away from the living room (which we have blocked off and baby proofed) he starts screaming and crying. If we go out and run errands he won't sit still for any period of time and gets pissed off and starts trying to get out of the cart. He won't eat. Wakes up early. Loves bath time, until he doesn't. Then he cannot get out of it fast enough. I try to play with him, but that pisses him off too. I take him to the park and that's fun, til it's not anymore. Then, sitting in the mulch screaming his fool head off is WAY MORE FUN.

We had to switch him over to a toddler bed because he kept climbing out of the crib, falling, and getting hurt. So now, everything that was once in his room is in our spare room. I can't even walk through it. Last night, he slept in the rocker/recliner that is still in his room. He takes what's left in his room and throws it about. Diapers, wipes, the diaper pail and it's contents. Yeah, good times.

I was getting him dressed this morning, had to step out of his room for a second, came back to find he had taken his diaper off and started playing with his poo. That's not the first time he's stripped and decided that poo time=play time.

And don't even get me started on my DH. He sees lo for maybe 2 hours at night. He goes upstairs to change and grab lo from his nap, comes down stairs and immediately turns the tv on and tunes lo and I out. I've mentioned it to him, multiple times. He also mountain bikes, so he's gone at least twice a week for hours. I have a girlfriend over on Thursdays to watch a show and have dinner and he won't even let us hang out. He has to be there. I've asked him if he could go watch tv or a show in a different room, but then I get the guilt trip.

There's lots of other issues, but I don't want this to go on forever. I've seen a therapist in the past, after lo was born, for post-partum anxiety. She helped a great deal. I tried to get my DH to go. He went twice and then told me "I think I've gotten everything out of it that I'm going to" and never went back. I'm just so damned frustrated. I try and talk to him, but it's like he doesn't hear me. I'm not going to leave him. He's a good man. But sometimes I want to slap him upside the head and say "SNAP OUT OF IT".

I guess maybe I would just like the same consideration he has. He gets to be out of the house for hours on end. At work, biking, traveling for work. Some days, he doesn't even see lo because he gets home late from biking. I am with lo all day, every.single.day. It would be nice if I could get some alone time.

Thanks for letting me rant. Sorry it got so long.

kje120 · October 2012

I'm sorry - that sucks. It sounds like your DH still has himself as his #1 priority and everyone else comes after what he wants to do. That isn't fair to you or your LO. I would revisit the idea of counseling with him so maybe someone else can get him to see that he is being extremely selfish.

SittingOnAMtnTop · October 2012

I'm sorry you are going through all of this. Would your DH be able to watch your LO while you have a bit of alone time? Maybe he could watch him for an hour after he gets home from work so you could grab coffee with a friend or take a yoga class? Maybe he could take LO to the park Saturday morning and let you sleep in or relax at the house? I am also a SAHM and I understand how tiring it can get. I got really frustrated a couple of months ago and having a little bit of "me" time here and there makes a world of difference.

Kmhsswim · October 2012

Yuck! That does sound very stressful. Im not sure if you are still seeing the therapist but If you are not, it might help to talk to DH about going and if he isn't willing then maybe you say you need to go back individually. I think it would be really helpful to have him involved, but again, if he isn't in to it maybe the therapist could at least help you to come up with some tips for communicating what you need to DH. I'm sorry you are going through this and hope it gets better. Everyone needs a break.

MamaBumble · October 2012

Because I'm definitely not the kind of person who is down all the time, I just wanted to check in and say that yesterday was M-U-C-H better. Seriously. It was like I had a different baby. Occasionally, I think the body snatchers swoop in and replace him to see if I'll notice. Yes, thank you, I notice. Give me my sweet boy back. Oy! Hope everyone has a great day. Yes

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