Vent*

Re: Vent*

• jeanbean13 member

  October 2012

  I don't think you're selfish or gift grabby.  To be honest, my feelings would be hurt too if my dad wasn't excited about his first grandbaby or sign a card for you at your shower.  But has your dad always been like this?  This may just be his way and it's nothing personal.  Or maybe he's waiting until after the baby is born to show more emotion or make a gesture.  Or maybe he's not doing as well financially as you think.

  I would try not to spend too much energy worrying about it, even if your feelings are hurt.  He may be doing the best he can for you for the time being or he's waiting until the baby is here to show you he's excited.  Also, it's not worth compromising your relationship with your family or alienating your dad at this point.  

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• faithfulfaith member

  October 2012

  My dad seems to care less too, so I'm not sure. I'm on no. 2 

  

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• LittleFish1 member

  October 2012

  Was it a co ed shower? Was he invited to the shower? I ask since I tend to think of those as being more female things and if he is more of a traditionalist I can see dad not signing the card. Some of the male spouses got signed by their wives on our shower cards, others were not included. Did not really think much of it.
  
  In terms of interest and not asking, could the females of his househod be filling him in and keeping him up to date? My father is quieter and more reserved, doesn't really ask questions and discourages my mom from asking too many questions because he knows I would get annoyed if there were too many questions and I will volunteer information on a need to know basis.

  

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• calico61979

  October 2012

  My dad doesn't seem really excited about the baby because that is just his personality. He is a man and some men don't get all that "excited" about a baby, especially when the baby is still in the womb. My fathers-in-law do not get all that excited either. DH's dad won't even touch the belly and gets freaked out if my DH tries to show off my bare belly. Probably DH's stepfather is showing the most excitement and that isn't much. Maybe it will be different when baby is born.
  

  

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• 6fsn

  October 2012

  I don't think you are gift grabby per se, but I think you may need to adjust your expectations.  Your dad may not have signed the card because he didn't think it was a guy thing to do.  In 3 pregnancies the only time my dad has shown concern with how I was feeling was when I was in the hospital getting my appendix out.  It's just not how he is.  It doesn't mean he isn't excited for the grandchild or concerned for me, it's just him dealing with his little girl having a baby.  Even though his little girl is 37.

  I also say my dad is petrified of newborns.  He'll hold one long enough to say a little prayer for them then hand them back.  Once they can hold their head up though, he turns into the best grandpa a kid could have. 

  I guess what I'm trying to say is that your dad may have his own emotions and possibly generational gap things going on.

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• jsoubel member

  October 2012

  I agree with a PP that more traditional dads may not to be gaga over the baby.  In my experience, no dad signs a baby shower card.  Perhaps they will wait until the baby is born and will give a nice gift or will at Christmas (if you celebrate).  I guess what I'm asking is "are your expectation realistic given how your dad's been in the past"?  Whatever the case, it's always ok to feel how you feel.  

  
  

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