keeping the name a secret?

luckydust · October 2012

My husband wanted to find out the gender, so we did but planned on keeping the name a secret. Now people are offended his family... when we don't share. Is this just a bad idea? We haven't picked a name btw. This is our last child, our only girl, and are just trying to make it special.

covertxxamour · October 2012

I don't think it's a bad idea, especially if you and your H are on the same page with it. A lot of people tend to give their unwanted opinions in regards to a child's name and it makes you unneccesarily think about renaming.

jllmb79 · October 2012

great idea...we are also keeping the name a secret. Someone pissed me off with naming my first baby so baby #2's name will be announced with weight and height! I think less drama this way.

CougFan · October 2012

My plan is to say "We're not sharing until we are certain, and we may not be certain until he/she is born."

We don't know the sex yet, and have two boys--both times we share the name because we were certain. If it is another boy I know I will have a hard time coming up with a third boy name...and if it is a girl I will want the name to be perfect--this is our last child too and will be the only shot at naming a girl!

Just keep dodging it, it is nobody's business! Two of my friends who recently had babies and it was fun to guess and speculate!

husker64 · October 2012

covertxxamour:
I don't think it's a bad idea, especially if you and your H are on the same page with it. A lot of people tend to give their unwanted opinions in regards to a child's name and it makes you unneccesarily think about renaming.

This is one of the reasons why we are going to wait to reveal the name as well. As long as you and your husband love the name that's all that matters. There are some very opinionated people out there that will tell you what they think about anything. It's sort of a tradition in our family to keep the name secret. We will reveal the gender, but then there is still a surprise with the announcement of the name, weight, height, etc. I think it's a great plan!

happy_un-bride · October 2012

I used to think it was weird for people to name the baby before he/she is born. So, I don't think its werid not to share the name with everyone.

In our case we were certain of what we are going to name our son. Plus, my sister and SIL are all expecting around the same time. So I figured by claiming the name for our son, if someone else steals the name then they are the bad guy.

luckydust · October 2012

Ty, makes me feel better. Already we ditched our first name choice because of negative feedback.

wittyschaffy · October 2012

We are also keeping our name selection a secret. DH told his mom our frontrunners ages ago, before we were even seriously trying to get pregnant and she was a total debbie downer about every single one of them (meanwhile I was across the room GLARING at DH - he didn't get the hint). None of our names are even remotely strange. They're not totally common, but not "out there" by any means.

After that, we decided to keep them to ourselves until LO is born. We're also not finding out the gender and the ILs took offense like we were trying to punish them or something. It is always something! lol.

ally1218 · October 2012

In my husbands family, it's tradition that the name is kept secret until birth. No one is supposed to know, not even family members. However, I did post it on here, but I don't think that counts. : My parents are very upset about it, but oh well. DH didn't even want to find out the sex but I had to know. Lol. I gave my mother a list of what the fn might be mind, the name wasn't on it and I got the whole speal about why it shouldn't be the name because of blah reason. Your babys name is no one elses business but yours and your SO.

Sparkles01 · October 2012

We're just telling people we haven't decided. I said we might even go to the hospital with a "top picks" list and decide when we meet her. That's currently the truth, but if it changes and we do decide on a name I'm still sticking with that story. My sister got tons of crap for not telling from my family, and she lives across the world. I can only imagine how much I'm going to get since I'm local.

rm2013 · October 2012

covertxxamour:
I don't think it's a bad idea, especially if you and your H are on the same page with it. A lot of people tend to give their unwanted opinions in regards to a child's name and it makes you unneccesarily think about renaming.

This.

CloudBee · October 2012

When people ask, I just say we have a short list, and will decide once the baby is born. That shuts them up, and is the truth.

I don't want to share my list and get input. I want to meet my baby and then decide which name from the list is best suited for them.

watermellens · October 2012

covertxxamour:
I don't think it's a bad idea, especially if you and your H are on the same page with it. A lot of people tend to give their unwanted opinions in regards to a child's name and it makes you unneccesarily think about renaming.

absolutely this!

honeydew01 · October 2012

This has been annoying my DH and I. The minute people found out the gender, they have been asking us for the name. We don't want to share because honestly it took us forever to come up with something that DH and I agree on and I don't want to hear negative feedback. I told my brother the middle name we are thinking of and he was like "well that sounds like this..." and now I am guessing myself if I really want that middle name...

CBomback · October 2012

wittyschaffy:
We are also keeping our name selection a secret. DH told his mom our frontrunners ages ago, before we were even seriously trying to get pregnant and she was a total debbie downer about every single one of them (meanwhile I was across the room GLARING at DH - he didn't get the hint). None of our names are even remotely strange. They're not totally common, but not "out there" by any means.
After that, we decided to keep them to ourselves until LO is born. We're also not finding out the gender and the ILs took offense like we were trying to punish them or something. It is always something! lol.

This. OMG, made me think about when DH decided to announce to his mom our wedding song choice and she proceeded to make a long analysis of the song and why it was not appropriate for us to use as our wedding song. I wanted to kill the both of them! Of course we had to pick a new song since the original song just brought up memories of his mom dissing it.

We are also keeping our name a secret, as all of our parents are hypercritical of everything, and DH's older brother's are merciless teasers. We have just shared the initials.

TMWarren85 · October 2012

CougFan:
My plan is to say "We're not sharing until we are certain, and we may not be certain until he/she is born."

This exactly! We aren't even sharing our options because we don't want people to lend an opinion or think we picked a name because so-and-so liked it. Thinking I will get a TON of grief, mostly from my family around the holiday's but oh well- it's what I want!

cottingham3 · October 2012

As others have stated, I think you should do what YOU and DH want! With each of our kids we kept the name close as in family only...mainly just our parents. We live in a small town and most of the people we knew were pregnant when we were with our last two...and I did NOT want a repeat name!!

This time we are older and none of our friends are preggars so we are not as secretative. Our kids are very excited to know the gender so that they can start calling the baby by name. Actually, they already do! So I am sure it will we hard to keep their little sweet mouths closed. lol

MrsG071809 · October 2012

I actually kind of wish we would have decided to keep the name a secret. We had it picked before we even started TTC, and I shared it with my mom back then. Well, the middle name is a family name and she was so touched that I wanted to use it that I felt locked in from the moment I told her. I love the name still, but it just feels like even if we wanted to change our minds at this point we can't because we've already told everyone. We haven't gotten any negative feedback - well, actually only from one person but she's a debbie downer anyway - but now that I've thought about it I like the idea of it being a surprise (especially since we found out the gender). The upside to having shared it is that SIL gave me a super cute little outfit with her name embroidered on it, and I have a feeling I will get a few other personalized things along the way, which is nice.

wittyschaffy · October 2012

My Grandma asked my Mom if she knew what our names were and my mom said "nope!". My Grandma issued her predictions and actually guessed the middle name of one of our combos (MIL's middle name - but my grandma would never have known that)! This is the same lady who successfully guessed that one of my cousin's twins would be named Isla. Something freaky deaky is going on with that lady.

Mother Meghan · October 2012

This is my first baby, so I don't exactly know how this is going to go, but we are also learning the sex (tomorrow!!) and keeping the name secret. I'm particular about names, as I'm sure many of us are, so I don't even want to commit to a name 100% until I actually see LO. I've explained that to the people who have asked and it's gone fine so far.

Honestly? My kid, my decision Smile

amurryduncan · October 2012

Everyone will have an opinion, so if you are willing to grin and bear it, go for it. Otherwise, if you're like me, you'll wait for the baby to get here to share the name and then everyone just has to smile and deal with it!

mlrafiki · October 2012

Stand your ground on this, definitely. The problem with revealing names is that everyone will then offer an opinion on it, and you'll either have to defend your choice or will find yourself second-guessing it. Try to present it in terms of "It's a surprise!" and hopefully people will view it in a more positive light.

Tough, though. Families always think they have a right to know every detail.

Stellarpuppy · October 2012

I don't think it's unreasonable. 1) you haven't actually figured out the name and 2) as long as you aren't mean about it you're fine.

I personally don't want to tell many people because when you actually have the baby people will say "awwww" no matter what. BUT when you just say the name and there's no baby people love to put their two cents in and say how good/bad it is. Like I've had a whole buncha comments (particularly from both grandfathers who love to poke fun) that if it's a boy his name will be Cooper Mason and they say "Well what is he going to be? A cooper or a mason? He's not going to know what job to do!!"

Copperlilly818 · October 2012

CougFan:
My plan is to say "We're not sharing until we are certain, and we may not be certain until he/she is born."

I'm stealing that! It's far more diplomatic than "We aren't telling because we don't want you to ruin it for us"

Lindzb3 · October 2012

This is your baby, if you don't want to share YOU don't have to!! I understand people like to know, but once again this is your baby!!

sarahbethski04 · October 2012

My mother in law has an opinion on EVERYTHING so we too have decided to keep the name a secret. She's already voiced what she thinks is "cute". I just would hate for us to really love a name and then get her negative feedback and be questioning it. Once it's done it done and after birth if she voiced her opinion negatively she would be tacky. They don't need to know every detail its your baby, after all she had her own baby to name.

doodles24 · October 2012

We shared what we would name DD when we found out she was a girl and shared what we will name this LO when we found out he is a boy. We didn't really consider keeping it a secret because 1) we knew with certainty what the names would be 2) we've never had negative comments but, if we did, we love the names enough that it wouldn't affect us at all 3) we assume that people are just asking to be polite not because they REALLY care what we name our child. If I weren't comfortable telling people, I would tell them we hadn't decided yet rather than "we're not telling," because, like I said, people are probably just asking to be polite and to make conversation. I wouldn't want to sound rude or standoffish. Just my opinion.

feytalaria · October 2012

We are keeping the name a secret until she is born. That's just how we want it. There are some people who "don't get it" and who think it is ridiculous, but whatever, I say. The same people were annoyed when we didn't reveal the sex of the baby before we told our parents.

We've decided on the first name, but not the middle name yet. I just tell people we are still thinking and haven't decided. For the more pushy, I flat out say we aren't revealing until she is born.

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BFP 7/16/2012 (8th cycle), EDD 3/27/2012, Delivered 3/24/2013 - IT'S A BOY!

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Want a personalized experience?

keeping the name a secret?

Re: keeping the name a secret?

Me: 30, DH: 33 Married 8/3/08 BFP 7/16/2012 (8th cycle), EDD 3/27/2012, Delivered 3/24/2013 - IT'S A BOY!

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Me: 30, DH: 33 Married 8/3/08
BFP 7/16/2012 (8th cycle), EDD 3/27/2012, Delivered 3/24/2013 - IT'S A BOY!