First time mother of 3 week old feeling exhausted and frusterated....

alexmegfitzgerald · October 2012

We just had our little girl on Oct 1st. Lately I am finding myself feeling so frusterated at night when she is up constantly and fussing and screaming. I don't know what to do to make her stop. I am breastfeeding her and I feel like she is eating ALL the time. She was 7'12 when we left the hospital and has almost gained 3 lbs already! She is gaining weight like crazy and doing really well. She is extremely happy for the most part, but I have such a hard time at night when she is up every 1-3 hours to feed. She will feed and then go to sleep. I put her down and she wakes up screaming half an hour later to eat more! My nipples are killing me between feedings and pumping.. I know I have a lot of milk, she just is a big eater. I am absolutely exhausted and would love some reassurance that it is completely normal to feel this way? I love her to death, and have a ton of patience 98% of the time, but sometimes at night I have to walk away from her because I just can't handle it. Please tell me this is normal to feel this way? I find myself feeling guilty for getting frustrated like I am a bad mother because I am getting stressed out.

LouRN09 · October 2012

Totally normal! And we will feel even more frustrated and lose patience much more easily with lack of sleep. And our LO's share a birthday. :-)

Sounds like she is dead smack in the middle of her 3 week growth spurt where all she wants to do is eat, and eat, and eat! One thing I learned with DS1 and that I have to keep reminding myself now....."this too shall pass!". (((HUGS)))

BeachBabe22 · October 2012

I felt the same exact way for the first 3.5 weeks and it got a lot better each day. I would feel so overwhelmed and want to cry and felt like I just wasn't doing anything right. Breastfeeding felt more like a chore than something I enjoyed and I was so temped to quit. My little girl is now 6 weeks old and everything is so much easier.

Good luck and it will get better!

Hyaline · October 2012

I think the 3 week growth spurt advice is spot-on--we had a few nights of constant eating at about 3 weeks, and now DD is getting 4-5 hour stretches some nights at a month. It gets better! And being stressed does not make you a bad mom--even wanting to ask the stork to take her back sometimes doesn't make you a bad mom. We had an awful fussy spell last night and told DH I wanted to put her in a cardboard box marked "Free Kittens" and take her to the Farmer's Market to see if there were any takers. (OK, maybe people only do that with cats in the sticks where I live...)

mamaHippo23 · October 2012

You are so not alone!! Everyone gets fed up sometimes, especially when there's a baby screaming in your ear at 3 am. You did the right thing by walking away for a minute when you got frustrated, it's impossible to soothe a baby when you're completely frazzled yourself. Every phase of childhood has it's challenges, just keep focusing on the positive moments and enjoy the happy times as they come.

We have a really obnoxious family across the street that I absolutely hate, so next time DS cries I think I'll just leave him on their porch, ring the bell, and run away. LOL

CandLind · October 2012

You're in a wonder week it is completely normal for baby to want to eat ALL THE TIME. Get a drink, snacks, great movies and get comfortable on the couch and nurse. GL

Nicole7697 · October 2012

Totally normal! I felt this same way when I first brought my son home from the hospital.. Not to mention, I was in labor for 16 hours and ended up having a c section which I didn't want! I also didn't get to "bond" with him like I wanted because they knocked me out for the c section so when I came home, I was so overwhelmed because I was in the hospital for 4 days and wasn't able to do much due to being in so much pain! NOT FUN! I tried breast feeding for the first week and I just couldn't do it. My nipples had blisters, bleeding and I wasn't producing enough milk for him (he weighed 9 lbs at birth, and eats A LOT).... So I changed to formula and he sleeps through the night now (he'll be 3 months next week and he weighs almost 16 lbs)! The first few weeks are really tough and you feel like you're going to lose your mind but trust me, IT WILL GET BETTER

aylafsu88 · October 2012

This is totally normal. My LO did the same thing and I felt like I was going crazy from a lack of sleep. By 5 weeks it got alot better and she started to sleep long between feedings. Hang in there, it will get better soon!

Squirrel29 · October 2012

Maybe try holding off on pumping for a while and just focus on nursing. You can start pumping again in a week or two once the growth spurt has passed.

cmrand4 · October 2012

with that much nursing, I would drop the pumping. you can build up a stash when you're not so tired. from my experience, it gets easier from here on out so hang in there. If you're nursing that much, you're doing everything right and your supply should be golden. Hang tough mama!

downwardsunshine · October 2012

alexmegfitzgerald:
We just had our little girl on Oct 1st. Lately I am finding myself feeling so frusterated at night when she is up constantly and fussing and screaming. I don't know what to do to make her stop. I am breastfeeding her and I feel like she is eating ALL the time. She was 7'12 when we left the hospital and has almost gained 3 lbs already! She is gaining weight like crazy and doing really well. She is extremely happy for the most part, but I have such a hard time at night when she is up every 1-3 hours to feed. She will feed and then go to sleep. I put her down and she wakes up screaming half an hour later to eat more! My nipples are killing me between feedings and pumping.. I know I have a lot of milk, she just is a big eater. I am absolutely exhausted and would love some reassurance that it is completely normal to feel this way? I love her to death, and have a ton of patience 98% of the time, but sometimes at night I have to walk away from her because I just can't handle it. Please tell me this is normal to feel this way? I find myself feeling guilty for getting frustrated like I am a bad mother because I am getting stressed out.

Normal! I still feel this way and I gave up pumping, but he is still up three times a night. It has to get better!

laurenhankey · October 2012

Yes! You are totally normal! The first 6 weeks for us were soooo very hard! Once she got over the "6 week fussies" it go SO much better. I was a walking zombie until then, never slept/rested it seemed and LO ate at the breast allll the time! It seemed the only time I slept was when we both feel asleep while breastfeeding. It gets easier, better and actually fun! I promise!

MichelleL1118 · October 2012

Sounds like she's cluster feeding at night. One thing you can try is waking her up more often during the day to nurse (like every 2 hours) so she's getting more calories while you're awake. It might help her extend those middle of the night sessions a bit so you get more sleep.

JulieMarie21 · October 2012

You are definitely not alone. That first month was so stressful for me. I felt really awful for not loving motherhood right away or not loving it all the time. Though I want more kids, I never want to do that first month again!

My LO is 10 weeks old tomorrow and it really does get easier. It doesn't seem like it sometimes, but when I look back at the cluster feeding, little sleep and crying, LOTS of crying there were in weeks 2-4, I know it is getting better. Each week I can say their is some improvement either in sleep, temperament, or me reading her cues, etc. When you feel stressed, definitely take a break but also try to look at the small accomplishments you or her have made. Good luck!

aja918 · October 2012

BeachBabe22:
I felt the same exact way for the first 3.5 weeks and it got a lot better each day. I would feel so overwhelmed and want to cry and felt like I just wasn't doing anything right. Breastfeeding felt more like a chore than something I enjoyed and I was so temped to quit. My little girl is now 6 weeks old and everything is so much easier.

Good luck and it will get better!

This exactly. The first two weeks were horrible but by 6 weeks everything was much better. It happened gradually.

sadsadie · October 2012

If you are pumping is there any way your SO could take a shift or two of feeding (either with a bottle or a cup?) so you can get a little bit more rest?

As PP have said, this is normal, and it will pass. I feel your frustration and hope that I will be strong enough to deal with it when my time comes (soon!). Good luck!

Want a personalized experience?

First time mother of 3 week old feeling exhausted and frusterated....

Re: First time mother of 3 week old feeling exhausted and frusterated....

Choose Another Board

Search Boards