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August 2011 Moms
amywalt1684
member
Relationship Checkup
amywalt1684
member
Seems that as of 6 months ago many of us were struggling a bit in our relationships/marriages since the births of our LOs.
How is everyone doing?
Better, worse, same?
How you been doing anything proactive to improve your relationship?
Name three things you appreciate more about your partner since the birth of you LO:
Complaints?
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Re: Relationship Checkup
How is everyone doing? I have to say that I think my relationship was actually better 6 months ago. The pregnancy horomones make me crazy towards my poor hubby. I know a big part of our issues are me and my irrational responses.
Better, worse, same? See above.
How you been doing anything proactive to improve your relationship? *TRYING* really hard to think before I speak.
Name three things you appreciate more about your partner since the birth of you LO: 1. He is so good at playing rough with her and wearing her out. 2. His willingness to work lots of extra hours and jobs to support us financially. 3. His unwavering excitment about have 2u2, when most days I am scared sh*tless.
Complaints? Seems like my DH is never home, because he works so much (this is a pro and a con) but I feel like I never get a break. Fulltime job, making dinner, taking care of DD, and then he wants to get laid when I am ready for bed! (Yeah right..!) Being pregnant is exhausting and seems more difficult with another LO to chase after, he doesn't seem to get that. My personal complaint is that I hate sex when I am pregnant and I feel like sex is important in our relationship, so that puts a strain on things.
Can't wait to have my more normal self back.
We are doing pretty alright. We have been smooth sailing for a while now.
I appreciate how hands-on H is with DS. I like that I don't have to leave any explicit directions with H if I go anywhere. I appreciate our date nights more for sure! It's nice to get away from DS every once in a while. I appreciate the support he gives me at home as well. I do most of the house-keeping, etc. But it is nice that he will either play with DS while I clean up or vice versa.
Complaints? He snores. He never cleans up when I'm away, but I am okay with that because I don't clean up when we are in the middle of playing. He works from home, so I never get any truly "alone" time.
How is everyone doing? -- We are doing much better now that he is in the same frecken state as me a DS. He was gone for nearly 11 months for work and only home for the weekends. He got a new job and he is home every night.
Better, worse, same? -- It is way better. Like I said he is home every night, we go for jogs with LO and we go to the park and do family stuff. DH feels so bad and depressed for not being able to see DS's first year of life... we are actually got to TTC starting in January! (After the holiday craizies!)
How you been doing anything proactive to improve your relationship? -- We have been staying up late in bed and talking like we use to. We play games like "what if"
Name three things you appreciate more about your partner since the birth of you LO:
1. His love for his family
2. His selflessness
3. His ability to go with less sleep than me (he lets me sleep in on BOTH Saturday and Sunday)
4. His dedication
5. HIM
Complaints? Not really, I just wish we could go on more dates... but it's not a big deal. I have him home now and that's all that counts.
How is everyone doing? Better, worse, same? I think we are doing a lot better. As DD has gotten older, DH is a lot more comfortable with a lot of the hands on care-taking, and that has taken a lot of the stress off of me to feel like I need to do everything.
How you been doing anything proactive to improve your relationship? I've gotten A LOT better at simply telling DH what I need, instead of waiting and hoping for him to do...anything. I've taken the approach to say, "DH, x and y both need to get done, is there one that you would prefer over the other?" It's straightforward and it's working!
Name three things you appreciate more about your partner since the birth of you LO: I appreciate him working hard so I can stay at home with DD. I appreciate that he's going back to school to help secure our financial future. And, most of all, I appreciate that he has never complained about the lifestyle changes we've made since DD was born and I stopped working.
Complaints? One one hand, it's been tough with him back in school, and I sometimes struggle o keep up with most of the cooking and cleaning on my own. But the positive side is that he's more engaged with the two of us when he is home, so I can't really complain
Fweetie - SO nice that your DH has a new job!! Woo hoo!
And cheers to the postive times in both your relationships!
How is everyone doing?
I am doing well. DH is INSANELY busy as he's gearing up to graduate in May. Which reminds me I need to type up his "extreme circumstances" letter for exemption from catalogue change.
Better, worse, same?
We are the same. I have finally accepted the fact that I need alone time. I didn't realize that I needed to be by myself for quite awhile. Somewhere between O's birth and the 6 month mark, I realized that date nights did not help me decompress and de-stress like being completely on my own. Jay made me start taking time for myself, and he was right. (Don't tell him I said that!)
How you been doing anything proactive to improve your relationship?
See above. Taking time for myself has proven to be more important to our relationship than taking time to be together. We do a really good job of taking time for our relationship about 3 times per week. We really do love each other immensely, and we'd stop at nothing to get some time sans kids.
Name three things you appreciate more about your partner since the birth of you LO:
1. His ability to help me see/recognize my needs as an individual.
2. His capacity for handling a really heavy load.
3. His childlike side.
Complaints?
Just complaints about myself. I hate that I can get caught up in the moment and lash out at him instead of taking a step back and identifying the underlying issue. I can confidently say that 99% of our arguments have a root outside of our relationship or are the direct result of a simple miscommunication between the two of us. Now, if only I could hold on to this and NOT forget it next time we are lighting a fuse.
Thanks!
Hope everything works out for everyone.
Better, worse, same? We are better, but I can feel myself slipping back into the resentment stage!
How you been doing anything proactive to improve your relationship? I've been making a conscious effort to try and put out more, as well as be more loving! I know, I know, if only it was that easy. I know DH needs to feel more appreciated and wanted so I'm trying to do that.
Name three things you appreciate more about your partner since the birth of you LO: 1. His dedication to his family. 2. His dedication to his work. 3. His willingness to get up in the morning with Mak!
Complaints? I wish that DH would help me more with the housework. Now that I've been back to work for almost 3 months, the house never gets cleaned and he jsut goes about his day. He even works from home. Its so frustrating. If he would help out more, I would love that more than anything.