Should I night wean?

RedRose87 · October 2012

DS is going to be 4 months on Saturday. I'm sure a few of you have seen me mention that he has been waking every 2 hours for the past 6 weeks. Well at at least one, sometimes 2 of those feedings, he definitely seems legitimately hungry. The other 4 to 6 feedings (a total of 6 to 8 a night) are more like comfort nursing. However, I haven't really actively tried to get him to sleep without nursing. I bed share, so it is SO much easier to just roll over, latch him on, and we both can drift back to sleep. I know we get more sleep just letting him nurse, but it's so interrupted. I don't care if he sleeps 10 hours straight, I don't expect that right now. And I kept saying I will wait til 6 months before sleep training, but that's two months away, and I wonder if I can really make it, I have dark circles and bags and my eyes burn from being so overtired. Also, today DS slept an hour longer than he usually does, and he woke up MUCH happier than usual, so I know he isn't getting quality sleep either.

What would you do? We are fixing to move to a new house on Sunday, where he will have his own room set up, and I hope to get him to nap in there, even if it is still in the swing. I want to try to get him used to his room for naps in the swing, then try to crib for naps, then hopefully sometime between 6 and 9 months have him in there for night time sleep. BUT I don't want him in there for night time sleep if he continues to wake up every 2 hours. Do you think moving him to the crib at night would help or make it worse? Or should I just keep on keeping on, and enjoy the snuggles while I have them? I'm open to suggestions.

Side note: we won't do CIO unless it is an absolute last resort, and even then I still feel like 6 months is too young (at least for my little guy, he wouldn't be ready). We won't CIO till he's closer to a year.

seansgirl2006 · October 2012

It sounds like you think it is the right choice to night wean yourself so yes, I would do it. At four months everything I have read says that they do not need to eat at night. You might find that when you drop some of those feedings your LO starts dropping others on their own once they figure out how to soothe and get themselves back to sleep. I can't really offer advice on the bed sharing as I didn't do that. I'm sure that will make it more tricky since you're right there close by. We had DS1 in a pack n play until he was almost 6 months. When I moved him to his own bed he slept so much better and I wished I had done it sooner. This time I moved DS2 over around 2 months and it helped so much. I know it is easier to nurse at night to try to get sleep but I agree with you that it isn't good sleep when it's interrupted so often. I have also read that it's better for their digestive system to not be eating all through the night. I would definitely try it for naps and see how it goes. JMO but I would move him to his crib and work on naps there instead of the swing at this age. Since you don't want to CIO any, you can try other methods of soothing back to sleep without eating like giving the paci. My little guy just recently started loving to hold a lovey bear. He likes to grab onto it and feel the fluffyness. He typically sleeps through the night but woke last night around 4. My DH went in and moved the bear over to him so he could reach it and he immediately went back to sleep. Had I tried to feed him I'm sure he would have started eating but did he need to? No. It's hard when you feel like they really are hungry but, they don't actually need to eat. I think of it like this- when I wake up at night sometimes I'm hungry or would like a snack but I know I shouldn't be eating at night (well, now that I'm not pregnant anymore at least, lol). They will eat the same amount and make up for it during the day. So yes, I would defiitely start cutting back and then get rid of night nursing totally. IMO, there is no reason a baby this age should be getting up every couple hours. They don't need to eat that often and it's not good for them.

RedRose87 · October 2012

I had read the same thing, about them actually not NEEDING to eat at night starting at around 4 months. He eats every 2 hours during the day still so I KNOW he is getting enough calories in the daylight time. I think the night time nursing is just mostly comfort. At the start of all this six weeks ago, I figured it was a growth spurt, then I figured it was this notorious 4 month wakeful period, but now I fear it is just habit for him! Even I am stuck in the awful 2 hour cycle. Even if he happens to sleep for 2.5 or 3 hours on rare occasion I STILL wake up at the 2 hour mark. I do keep thinking that night weaning is the best choice, but I think it would be easier if he was in his crib and not sleeping with me because then I would be less likely to give in and nurse him. Being in bed and sleepy makes caving in so much easier as opposed to if I have to actually get up, I might as well try other methods since I am already up. I do wonder if he would sleep better in his own room. I think you are right, I know I've known what I needed to do for a while now, just wanted some reassurance. We are still swaddling right now... but the few times I have tried swaddle free he has a tigger lovey that he adores, so perhaps I will try that as well. I just don't want to shock him and make things worse. Unswaddling, new room, in the crib, in a new house, and no more eating at night? Seems like a lot at once. Should I just take the plung or try to figure out one thing at a time. Idealy I'd like to try to unswaddle first, but sleeping with him unswaddled proves dangerous for me (as much as I like getting poked in the eye and slapped in the face in the middle of the night lmao). What would you try first? Move to crib and night wean at same time? Then unswaddle? He isn't rolling back to front yet.

beck8008 · October 2012

i don't think you need to actually do any sleep training yet at this point... maybe just let LO fuss for a few minutes before you feed him to see if he'll go back to sleep on his own. If not, give him a little shushing rocking adn if that doesn't work then feed as a last resort... maybe he'll figure out he doesn't need to eat that much.

acbfreire · October 2012

my LO is distracted during the day, so even though she is nursing often, she is not getting as much. She seems really hungry at night.. I am not starting sleep training yet ( I got the no-cry sleep solution).

I do let her fuss a bit before picking her up, when she is fine, she falls back asleep. When hungry, she will fuss more.

Her sleep is very erratic now. Sometimes she wakes up every two hrs, sometimes she goes for 6 hrs.

I'd say trust your instincts!

Ana+V · October 2012

My son too wakes up every 2.5 hours in night to comfort nurse...i co-slept with him....2 weeks back moved him to crib which is right next to my bed ( total pain to get up,pick up the baby and feed him ! compared to rolling over and feeding him )

i try to shushhh him to sleep but he just will nurse for 5 minutes and then only go back to sleep.. he has made it a habit / i have made my peace with it... but i wish he would sleep straight for atleast 4 - 5 hours ( if not full night ) !

LCmomma · October 2012

I was having this problem when I was bed sharing. LO's crib is in my room, so once she eats she goes straight in it at night. She only wakes once a night now. It seemed like before it was just for comfort and I would be sooo tired the next day. DD1 is in 1st grade and I have to have enough energy in the morning to help her get ready and off to school. So co sleeping isn't possible for me. Although, I do miss the cuddling. We get to cuddle and nap together some days though.

anonsouthernbell · October 2012

I think every baby is diff. Ds woke up a bunch at night and for the most part dd only wakes up 1-3 x at night (bed shared w both). Have you tried cutting out dairy? Random I know but when I eat dairy her tummy gets upset and then she wakes up alllllll night it seems to comfort nurse.

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