Phoenix Babies
scrapperlh
member
Telling Big Brother?
scrapperlh
member
Anyone pregnant with their 2nd who has told their other child? My boy is 10 and we just shared the news with him. I don't want him to lash out or feel left out. Any tips on how to keep him involved? I read a tip for when the baby comes to have them give each other a gift, but that's about all I've seen so far. Anything to do during pregnancy? P.s. He said this morning on the way to school that he's not doing any "up's". I asked what that was and he said throw-up, spit-up... So I said a dirty diaper isn't an up and we laughed and he said he's not doing that either lol. Are men already wired like that when they're young? jk 
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Re: Telling Big Brother?
This is my first and so there is no "big brother" to tell BUT I have a little brother who I had to tell. He just turned 12 and has always been very territorial about his "big sissy". When I first told him he was going to be an uncle he kept yelling No at me and hid under his blankets so I immediately knew there would be some problems.
I've tried to involve him as much as I can with picking a nursery theme, talking about names and telling him how fun it would be an uncle. None of this really mattered to him until finally we got the idea to take him to an ultrasound! It was an elective 3d gender session and when my little brother got to see his nephew for the first time he was completely in shock. After the ultrasound he came to me and hugged me tight and had teary eyes it was one of the best experiences for him and he has been so excited about the baby ever since!
My situation was different because I was hospitalized my last 6 weeks of pregnancy so he got used to me not being super involved with him. And then when ds2 came 8 weeks early we had the " opportunity" to only bring him for short visits and gradually lengthen them and make them more frequent. When we brought ds2 home, he gave ds1 a few gifts. From us and from relatives, actually, but "from" DS2. We have since made specific alone time with him, let him hold and feed ds2, anything to make him feel loved and included. It's early days yet. Ds2 is 4.5 weeks old and has been home 2 weeks. But that's what we 've done different with a 10yo I know. I think it's key to spend alone time and include them regardless.