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lookame3639
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Seriously!?
lookame3639
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Edit- Today I got to know who the perp was/is. My X and his GF didn't want me to know and in the end it bit the in the as$. I was able to get a RO and the judge was very unpleased by me being left in the dark on the whole situation. I am planning on editing my replies so please don't get angry.
Awhile ago I got confirmation that abuse had been going on at my Xs. I was told by my X and all the attorneys that the abuser was a younger sibling of my Xs GF and was told they "never see them" I have not been allowed to know the name of said abuser. I only get to know minor details such as it was a relative. Recently I found out my X is/ has moved into his GF mother's three bedroom home. My child came home after the weekend and told me that he had to sleep on the floor in an older boy's room while another little girl had to sleep in the same bed as this older boy. My child has begun wetting his pants again, gets VERY upset when he has to go for the visits, chews on his shirts/sucks on his fingers and he has begun having nightmares all over again. I want a restraining order against this person but I was told since this person is a minor even though they could have abused my child as well I am not allowed to know who they are. This really sucks I can't protect my child!
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Re: Seriously!?
OP, I am SO sorry that you and your LO are going through this, it is complete BS and I cannot imagine the anxiety you have right now. You are definitely in our T&P's.
I agree with Holly - file an emergency junction, and try to limit BD's visitation and make it supervised. BD is obviously not putting your LO's needs first, and that is pathetic.
Edit...
Edit please read original post
I am so lost as to why abuse always happens in a divorce. You are not accusing the ex, you are saying it happens at his house. And who said you cannot be told the name? And this is horrible but why post if you will not try to do something. And have you been to a doctor?
You CAN do something about it. Talk to your child's doctor. Tell them what you suspect to be going on. Get your child into therapy. File for an emergency injunction. If you don't go to the ends of the earth to protect your child you are just as guilty as the abuser in this situation.
What's up with the "my hands are tied" attitude?
If I had even the smallest indication that my kid was being abused while he was with my XH, he wouldn't go. Period. CO be damned.
You go to a doctor or urgent care or an ER. You go to the police. You find an attorney. You do whatever you have to do.
Edit please read original post
If you know she has three kids and one of them is the abuser have you not asked your son what the kids names are? Who is the oldest middle youngest? I think it would be pretty freaking easy to get a name. And it doesn't matter what the kids name is. One of her children is abusing yours and that kid learned it somewhere so there is likely an adult abuser in the mix and you are just all oh my hands are tied. Get a new lawyer. Call the police. What does the counselor say you should do? FFS DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!
edit please read above
I agree. It's either MUD or you are an incredibly lazy mother.
I would raise holy flippin' hell until someone listened or did something to protect my child.
Fine. Then if it's not MUD, I suggest you get a different attorney.
And if you have a text confirming it....sounds like you have proof to go to CPS or the cops.
Seriously. You act like you're just bored with it all more than you are upset.
As a previous poster said, if you do nothing, when you know something is going on, than you are almost just as guilty.
I'm with this. You get one door slammed in your face, you find another. Go to the police, find a non-profit for abuse victims, go to the mayor if you have to. You talk and talk and talk until someone listens!!!!
Lurker here. Your location says Ohio and I'm in Ohio too. Sadly, we had a relative abused by a teenaged family member last year. You're being fed a lot of bull here if this is all true. As the parent of a child victim, you are absolutely entitled to know the name of the abuser as well as the status of the court case. The courts would also help you get a protection order for your LO.
Take your LO to a child psychologist, call the police and file a report that you suspect your son is being abused by a minor who lives in that house and tell them everything you know and report to children's services. Do NOT drop it. Keep calling, keep reporting until someone helps you protect your child. Document everything. Be a pain in the ass until you get results.
If you have to, file for a restraining order against the entire family but do SOMETHING.
ETA: Also if there's a police report about this out there, they are legally not allowed to redact names from it, even if it's a minor (I'm a journalist, I know public record laws). You should be able to go to your police/sheriff records department and ask for a print out for all police reports involving the address where your X is living. I get names of juvenile offenders for crimes all the time with no problem.
DS Nathan 12/4/12
BFP: 3/31/15 EDD: 12/4/15
MC: 7/2011, 12/2011
Honestly I think they don't want me to know who it is because they don't want me to make a report on him for my child as well.
I replied to your PM.
I'm sure they don't want you to make a report. Were you told by someone in a position of authority you couldn't have the abuser's name or just your X/his lawyer?
If you go to the records department and you don't find what you're looking for, tell them what's going on. Say that your son has been coming home from your X terrified and having nightmares since he moved to that address and you think there's someone with a history of abuse living there but he won't give you any more information. They'll want to help you. Police officers want to protect people, especially children. They will probably try to get you to make a report, but honestly you should probably go ahead and do that ASAP anyway. You want to get the ball rolling and get things documented. If you make a report, you will likely have to let someone interview your child. They'll make sure it is someone trained who has experience interviewing child victims because they want to do things by the book and build a good case. It will be someone who can interview your child sensitively and take good care of them.
DS Nathan 12/4/12
BFP: 3/31/15 EDD: 12/4/15
MC: 7/2011, 12/2011
This. EXACTLY THIS. I was actually going to post that if nothing could be done, I'd be hard pressed not to 'disappear' in this kind of situation. Seriously. I'd pack my bags and what I could fit in my car, and take my kids far, far, far away. I'd tell no one. I'd tell my mom I was safe, and that's it. Your child will hold this against you forever ifyou know something is going on and you do nothing to protect him. I would.
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"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
You need to be more proactive. If abuse is happening parenting time will stop. Take your child to a therapist. Call CPS. Call the Police. Call your Family Court representitive. Don't send the child for visits.
To do nothing is not acceptable.
Some of our pther issues were addressed but it appears the judge and guardian aren't looking foundly on my X at this point
Wow. So within 24 hours you convinced your lawyer that more had to be done, the appropriate paperwork was filed to get in front of a judge, and they ruled in your favor.
My.
You really work fast for someone who was so weary of the system.
Angry? No.
Bored with your MUD? Yes.