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September 2011 Moms
linzica
member
vent about my mom
linzica
member
So about 3 (maybe almost 4?) weeks ago my mom fell down the steps and nailed her knee really badly. It swelled up and she had a hard time walking at all for a week. I have been helping her out as much as I can. The first week, i was there every day, getting her lunch and stuff she needed from around the house. Since then I have been running errands for her and whatever.
She can walk now, without a crutch but it still hurts her a bit and she doesn't feel "stable". She finally went to the doctor Friday and they determined she bruised the bone badly but she refused the treatments they offered to her, preferring a "wait and see" tactic.
I understand what it's like to not have full mobility. I have had chronic knee problems my whole life and last year, when i had my blood clot, i couldn't walk at all for two week, and had a very hard time for about a month afterwards.
The thing is, my mom was not particularly sympathetic when I have had my problems in the past. Especially last year when i was bedridden, she did stop by to get me food for about 15 minutes every day, but otherwise left me all day to take care of a two month old baby because she was so "busy". That's not to say she didn't feel bad for me, and she didn't help, but she felt I needed to take care of my own stuff. It was hell.
I'm begining to reach my breaking point with her. She said yesterday she was feeling well enough to take Q while we are at the funeral tomorrow. Today she doesn't know. She is walking up and down stairs, teaching her art classes, cooking dinner, doing everything with a slightly sore knee, but doesn't know if she can lift Q into his PnP to nap and doesn't want to be confined to one level with him. Shvt lady, if i could do it with a leg that was practically dead for a month, you can do it.
On top of that, I told her i was running to the food store for a quick trip and asked if there was anything she needed. She gave me two weeks worth of groceries to pick up for her. I have so many errands I have to run before the funeral I don't know how i will get everything done between Q's naps. I won't.
Sorry, i know this probably sounds very whiny. She does help me out and she is injured but she is otherwise a very strong healthy woman and I feel like if she felt she didn't need the treatments for her knee, than she needs to stop babying herself and expecting so much from me. I am happy to help but i have a limit, and I need some return when my H and his family need me for something much more serious.
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Re: vent about my mom
She does give, its just all of her terms. When I was very pregnant and H was working all the time, she would never offer to help with simple things like carrying in groceries (my kitchen is on the second floor of my house). She insisted I ask and then it was hit or miss, but when i talked to her about it, she got mad because she painted a picture of me and hosted my baby shower.
This must be super frustrating! She sounds set in her ways... And it sounds like there is really not much to do than deal with it the best you can. Maybe itis time for you to be a little selfish and help her out, but only on YOUR terms.