Just a general vent
Kaeldrasmommy
member
I just need to go nuts somewhere today. Let me get down how my day has gone.
I was hoping for a slower day today, I've been so busy lately. I have a cold, DH is out of town and I'm tired. I decided to take a time out and asked my aunt to watch LO while I went and got a facial early this afternoon. I hadn't even been off the phone with her for 5 minutes when she called me back and said that she couldn't, my grandmother (her mom) had just been taken to the hospital because she thought she had a stroke. I cancelled the appointment and headed for the hospital.
While I was there every. person. in. my. family. mentioned how long it had been since I had taken LO to see grandma. They talked about how lonely she is. How much she brags on LO. How much she misses her. They gave the impression that I should have so much time on my hands. In general they managed to make me feel like my grandma is lonely and it's all because she doesn't see LO enough and it is therefore all my fault.
I left the hospital when they locked down the ER due to an accident. DH's cousin was coming over anyway. We had dinner and talked for a while about some of the problems we've been having with the kids. The situation that I made my last post about came up and come to find out the majority of DH's family doesn't care for me and doesn't want much to do with me because of how DH and I handle the kids. Because we are strict and have high expectations. But apparently this isn't something that they see as DH and I's decisions, but rather just me being a b!tch. So great, I'm supposed to manage to be a better parent than either of the kids biological parents. That makes sense.
So now I've got a headache and I feel like the whole world expects me to be absolutely perfect in every sense. And I'm pretty sure that DH is the only one who actually realises how much stress I'm under and how busy I am. So pity party table for one please. Kudos to anyone who listened to my rant.
Re: Just a general vent
You need to give yourself a break.
Plain and simple, DHs family does not have to live in your house with your children or be responsible for them, so it's flat out none of their damn business how you raise them. And frankly, what was DHs cousin getting at telling you this anyway. Somebody is pot-stirring.
Time for a heart-to-heart with your DH about how his family is making you feel. And if he chooses not to deal with them over it, then you are well within your right not to put yourself around them. The way I see it is you wouldn't drink a glass of bleach just because someone put it in front of you and called it water. Don't subject yourself to people, who are quite obviously toxic, just because someone calls them family.
*Hugs.* Don't listen to all the BS. It is not your sole responsibility to make Grandma less lonely. A visit to her with DD for an hour each week or every other week? That would be nice, but if you are too busy, you're too busy. If the other family members recognize that she is lonely, THEY should be doing things too - taking her on outings, bringing her meals, etc. - especially if they are her kid.
DH's family needs to STFU and mind their own business. Just take what they say with a grain of salt and know that it's quite easy for them to tell you how to do things when they aren't the ones trying to raise the kids.
Try to get that facial soon, and let DH deal with his obnoxious family
.
Thanks everyone. Deep breaths and I've rescheduled my appointment for this morning.
We should get results from my grandma's MRI this morning.
The cousin I was talking about is someone I'm very close to and was actually doing me a favor in the long run, the family who have so much to say can't be bothered to talk to me about any concerns they might have and they act like we are just fine when I'm around. I'd rather know not to waste my time with people who are going to turn around and talk crap about me.