I know I'm all hormonal, and I remember all of this from last time around, but how do you know what the difference is between PPD and just general baby blues? I just want to sit and cry all the time. BFing didn't work out for us, so I'm trying to pump every time she feeds and it's really making me miserable. i feel like I just can't lie on the couch and hold her and it really upsets me. I know its good for her to get the breastmilk, but I just feel like I'm missing out on so much - with DD2, DD1, and even with DH. I'm just miserable and I don't remember crying like this last time around, especially 2 weeks after my csection.
sometimes i feel like I've bonded with DD2 and other's I just don't and I feel like I'm rushing to put her down so I can jut be done with the pumping.
My boobs are constantly killing me, I can't hug DD1,and I can't hold DD2 on my chest because it hurts too much. This weekend was just really hard for me becuase I felt like I wasn't with anyone, I was pumping the entire time upstairs alone in my room - because of all the guests. The pumping is slightly easier today, but my nipples are KILLING me. I think the pressure might be too high on the pump, but I don't know how else to maximize my pumping sessions.
seriously I'm just a mess!
Re: PPD or baby blues
Becuase you are only 2 weeks PP, I would say baby blues. I believe if it goes past your 6 week PP check up, then it would start to be considered PPD. It is completely normal right now to be so emotional and to cry over everything.
I felt very similar to how you are now, except I wasn't pumping or breastfeeding. I didn't start feeling better until around 3/4 weeks and even then I was still very emotional. I remember thinking "Why did I want to change my life? Didn't we have a great life together before having a baby?" I loved my little one, but I didn't feel like I was bonding with him and I didn't love being a mom right away which is something I always thought I would love being.
I felt a little better every day at that point and now at 4 months I am so loving my new life. It gets more amazing everyday and I am so grateful for the family I have.
Do yourself a favor and try to get outside at least once a day. That really helped me, I would go for a walk with LO several times aday and I would go out with my Mom and LO to the store or something once a day. It did take a while, but I'd say at 3 months I was just about back to normal. Now I can't stop thinking about when we'll have number 2! Oye!!
Hang in there and cut yourself some slack... if pumping really isn't working for you, then stop and switch to formula. It doesn't make you a bad mom in any way whatsoever!
Hugs!!
BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12
DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018
Me: 36 | DH: 39
Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years
BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF
August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled
9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks
10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN
11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst
3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP
11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
If yoru baby blues feel like something to worry about then talk to someone. It's better to speak up now than to wait and let things go downhill. Yes, I know some of what you may be feeling is natural and it may be the extra challenge of breastfeeding that's making things feel more intense.
I feel your pain about the breastfeeding. Breastfeeding can be really difficult especially the first 2-3 weeks. My baby girl is now 2 months old I we are still breastfeeding but I almost gave up the first few weeks. Nipple pain, bleeing, and frequent feedings does take its toll. Try getting some lanolin ointment to help soothe and heal your nipples. I found that pumping once or twice a day and bottlefeeding or allowing others to bottle feed gave my nipples a break. I know there can be debate about creating nipple confusion but it worked for me by allowing me to get over those first few weeks of breastfeeding bootcamp. Now breastfeeding is a breeze and I love it.
Please try to hang in there. Consult with a lactation specialist in your area.
This sounds like baby blues to me too. Hopefully things will get better and you can settle into a routine.
I just want to give you a hug. My LO is 3 months now, but I still remember the first two horrible weeks so vividly. You'll get there mama, you're doing a wonderful job - keep it up!
I'm lurking from 3rd tri, but I have to say this is NOT TRUE! I was diagnosed with PPD 10 DAYS postpartum with my DD. I don't know if yours would be considered PPD at this point, but it is my opinion that you should call your OB and speak with them regarding your symptoms early, rather then trying to wait it out. My symptoms really escalated quickly and I'm so thankful that my husband insisted I call and get checked out - I kept telling myself that I had to wait, it hadn't been long enough, that it was stressful for every new mom etc...
Also, if it is PPD don't beat yourself up! I remember thinking after being diagnosed that this was just one more thing I was failing at as a mother (I also had a c/section and BFing issues that I was dealing with). By seeking advice from your Dr you are doing what you need to do to make sure you are being the best mama you can be!
I hope all of this passes very quickly for you! HUGS!