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September 2011 Moms
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S/O making friends

becasmecabecasmeca member
in September 2011 Moms

How do you meet new friends without sounding like you are asking them on a date?

Today I told a mom "I look forward to getting to know you more" or a different Mom who was talking about not having enough room in her house for a train table and all of the accessories I told her " you can just come to my house! I have lots of room" okay, I think I am coming off as a huge creeper! I swear I meant well! it just sounds weird.

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Re: S/O making friends

  • ldcoffelldcoffel member

    I'm not really good either. A lot of the moms I have met are DDs age, so I kind of use that. "The girls really get along well. We should get together more often!" Or I have invited specific people to a specific event. "Hey, we are going to ...on Friday. We would love for you to meet us there." 

     

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  • linzicalinzica member

    super casual.

    "yo! we need to hang out! Do you like sushi? I have been dying for sushi. You want to do lunch?"

    you don't have to say yo if your not from philly.

    first get togethers are best done in a neutral space or at parties (like, hey we're having a party for the game sunday! you should come by with the LO!) but if you don't pin down a time and place it probably won't happen. Just don't be too forceful about it so that if they want an out, they can take it. And, it is always a little easier if it is a group outing the first time too but that's not always feasible.

    btw, i know these from other girls doing them. Not me. Like i said, I am not a good friend maker.

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  • manda26manda26 member

    I guess something along the lines of "would you like to get the kids together for playdate sometime?"

    At least this is the line I am going to use to ask a mom out at swim today! or next Wednesday if I chicken out today LOL

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  • becasmecabecasmeca member
    These are all great ideas! Thanks ladies!

    Here is another question... Would you rather have another mom friend or does it matter?
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  • manda26manda26 member

    imagebecasmeca:
    These are all great ideas! Thanks ladies! Here is another question... Would you rather have another mom friend or does it matter?

    I guess honestly another mom friend is easier in some ways. They get it all, and if you want to get together with Bo then it's a good idea. When I went to dinner with a college friend of mine who isn't married and has no kids I realized how far apart our worlds are right now. I mean I love her to death but, just so different.

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  • valzeevalzee member
    imagemanda26:

    imagebecasmeca:
    These are all great ideas! Thanks ladies! Here is another question... Would you rather have another mom friend or does it matter?

    I guess honestly another mom friend is easier in some ways. They get it all, and if you want to get together with Bo then it's a good idea. When I went to dinner with a college friend of mine who isn't married and has no kids I realized how far apart our worlds are right now. I mean I love her to death but, just so different.

    I agree with this. It's hard to hang out with my friends who don't have kids because I can't really relate any more. It's sad on one hand, but on the other hand I love my life with J so much I'm not sure I want to relate to that life any more.

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  • becasmecabecasmeca member
    imagevalzee:
    imagemanda26:

    imagebecasmeca:
    These are all great ideas! Thanks ladies! Here is another question... Would you rather have another mom friend or does it matter?


     

     It's sad on one hand, but on the other hand I love my life with J so much I'm not sure I want to relate to that life any more.

    This just gave me goosies... qutie the powerful statement.

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  • bluejettabluejetta member
    The two I've met so far have been people I got along with after meeting at a larger group event.  One I see almost every week with her son who is DD's age.  The other I met only a month ago and we've had one "date" but her son is 3 months younger and nap schedules don't quite coordinate so hopefully we'll find other times.  I found the group events on meetup.com which takes a lot for me to join since I'm not a joiner but it's been worth it to get out and I see it as a bonus if I hit it off with someone.  The mom I've known longer we just did pedicures/coffee last month and I felt a bit wierd asking to do something without the kiddos but it was super fun.
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  • solsburyhillsolsburyhill member

    I think it's fine if it sounds like a date.  It's not like you are saying "nice butt, how bout I buy you dinner??".

    Look at how many of us ALL feel nervous about making friends and feel awkward about it.  I'm quite positive the other girl is equally nervous.  "Want to meet up for a drink some night?" is perfectly fine!  

    I usually say something like "I could really use some time out of the house, 

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