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New to this board and mommy guilt

scottsbride379scottsbride379
in Toddlers: 24 Months+

Hello. My DS is 28 months old and this my first posting on this board.

Yesterday evening DS wanted to go outside and play. We went to go down the back deck steps to the lawn and DS wouldn't let me hold his hand. I had my finger hooked into the hood of his jacket, just in case he tripped. I decided I needed to hold his hand and I let go of his hood. He chose that moment to lean forward or trip (the moment is a blur in my mind and I'm not sure how he really fell) and he fell down the wooden steps. DH was already down on the grass and only turned when he heard DS fall. I screamed and ran down to him where he was screaming. I picked him up and thank goodness there was no blood and no missing teeth. Just a scrape on the bridge of his nose right between his eyes. His nose wasn't broken, which is a miracle. We went in and watched Wow Wow Wubbzy while I iced his nose. This morning he has a bad bruise, but no swelling and it doesn't even hurt him. He's his normal self.

The problem is me. I feel like the worst mom ever. And what's worse, no matter how many times DH assures me that it's not my fault, I feel like it is and that he secretly thinks it is, too. I can't shake the feeling that I'm a bad mom. This is the second fall he's taken. When he was 18 months old he fell down the steps out front (brick) and he had to have 2 staples in the back of his head at the ER.

I know lots of boys take falls, it's what they do. How many moms have been through something similar? How did you deal with how you felt? Did you feel like me or am I just really insecure with low self-esteem?

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Re: New to this board and mommy guilt

  • mamainseptembermamainseptember member
    Things happen! When my DS was about 18 months he fell down a flight of about 10 stairs while I was bringing groceries in he managed to knock the gate down. I called an ambulance and he went to the ER. They kept him for about 5 hours for observation and then let us go home and said he was totally fine! I felt guilty for about 2 months following that. We learn from our mistakes and know that we aren't perfect. We can only do the best we can do as we are only human! I'm sure you DS totally forgot about it all by now and is completely fine. Don't beat yourself up, we've all been there! Hugs!
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  • ridesbuttonsridesbuttons member

    DS2 fell down a full flight of stairs when he was 18ish months; the landing was slate tile.  Oh my did I almost have a heart attack.

    These things happen.  *shrug*

    I anticipate plenty of trips to the ER in the next 12 - 14 years.

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  • TiffanyBerryTiffanyBerry member
    It happens.  Moreover, to some degree (such as the one you describe in this most recent incident) is SHOULD happen; it's how they learn!  You handled it in a way that worked for your little one; that is what really matters.
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  • countrymice06countrymice06 member

    We were getting ready to take our DD and our two smallish dogs for a walk a couple of weeks ago.  My DD wanted to hold the leash and I stupidly opened the door, the dogs went running, and literally yanked her down three cement steps onto a cement landing.  She landed RIGHT on her forehead.  She has had tons of bruises on her face from little falls, but this was immediately huge, black and blue, and bleeding a bit.  

    Unlike your nice DH, my DH started screaming at me for it being all my fault for letting her hold the leash.  Not our finest parenting all around.

    Anyway, it took awhile for the bruise to go away completely, but she is fine.  Also, she is MUCH more careful on the stairs now and won't go on them if the dogs are anywhere near them.  

    Don't worry- it is part of being a kid.   

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  • Shayna0182Shayna0182 member

    Ds has had his share of falls and spills.  On Christmas Eve, this past year, he tripped and hit his head on my mil's coffee table.  He hit so hard he had a goose egg for a month afterward.  I felt horrible, but you can't predict what will happen.

    Just kiss the booboo after it happens. Smile

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  • la79alla79al member
    Ask your parents to tell you about the worse accident you had before you were 3.  They will remember it, you won't.  It's part of being a parent. 
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  • llc730llc730 member
    Agree with all PP. You are going to feel guilty...part of being a parent. You DS will fall again at some point....part of being a kid (especially a boy). We live and learn. If it makes you feel any better my older brother had stitches 4 times before he was 10. Also fell off a top bunk onto a tile floor and ended up in the ER once for scaling a metal shelving unit and getting into a bottle of something (I think Tylenol). He is alive, happily married, and makes way more money than me...I think he turned out fine. :)
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