Is it weird MIL and I don't really talk?

Jimsgirl5821 · October 2012

My mom was asking me something about my MIL and SIL yesterday and I said I didn't know, I hadn't talked to them since DD's bday party in August. She joked I was a terrible DIL. I didn't think anything odd about it, but is it weird we don't talk much? We talk obviously when we see each other at family gatherings and holidays and we call each other on birthdays, but that is really about it unless there is something specific to talk about. She hasn't called me to ask how I am feeling or anything, but I know she asks DH when she talks to him. We don't fight or hate each other or anything....I think she is a bit of a AW, but nothing super horrible.

I don't think it is weird, it's not like DH calls my mom just to chat, so why am I expected to? It's not like she calls me, either. Does anyone else think it's odd? FWIW, her and DH aren't super close or anything either.

anao2020 · October 2012

Everyone has a different relationship with their ILs. IMO, if there's no animosity, you're good.

jillychris · October 2012

MH talks to.his mom maybe once every few weeks to a month. They've never talked very frequently. If I am home, he will pass the phone to me, but if not she doesn't call me and I don't call her.

mamayo26 · October 2012

I don't really talk to my MIL that much, when we see her or if I need to ask her something. I'm in the same boat as you. It's not wierd if it is what you want and what you and your MIL are comfortable with. Every DIL/MIL relationship is different.

I did keep all parents (LO's grandparents) updated during the pregnancy to let them know all was well, and then when DS was born provided regular update. now I jsut post pictures and send out updates as needed (like after wellness visits).

Allycat11 · October 2012

I don't find that strange at all. My MIL and I have a good relationship, we enjoy eachother's company but we don't just call each other to chat or get together.

Jimsgirl5821 · October 2012

Thanks ladies..I was starting to feel strange. A couple of my friends are always doing things (shopping, lunch, etc.) with their MILs and my mom was always doing stuff with my grandmother (her MIL) so I didn't know if that was the norm

brooke&ryan&baby · October 2012

Not weird at all! Like PPs said everyone's IL relationships are different and as long as there is no heat behind why you don't speak regularly I don't see a problem!

My DH and his mom are very close. They talk sometimes once a day, sometimes once a week. I talk to her when we are all together and sometimes he'll pass off the phone to me but other than that we really don't go out of our way to call each other.

hansonam446 · October 2012

I don't talk to my MIL unless I see her. Shoot, even my husband only talks to her a couple times a month. I was really close to my ex-MIL but I knew her since I was in HS so I think that's why. I think every relationship is different.

catherine24 · October 2012

Not weird at all. I think it depends on the circumstances. I live in the same area as MIL, so it would be weird if I rarely talked to her - I would basically have to make a point of avoiding her. OTOH, my parents live across the country and I talk to them about once a week. Before we had DD, DH rarely talked to them - I'd talk to them for about an hour on the phone each week, and they'd ask about DH but didn't really talk to them. Now that we have DD, we do weekly video chats with my parents, and sometimes try to fit in a second talk during the week, so DH is more likely to talk to them.

AnotherPreggo · October 2012

I don't think it's weird

jacksmom119 · October 2012

Sounds like my relationship with my mil, except I hate her!

TTsmomma · October 2012

HAHA! Me too!!!

cowgirltu · October 2012

I rarely talk to my MIL. My H only talks to her once every month or two, and I talk to her less than that. I dont have anything against her, just nothing to say to her really. But his family isnt very close at all.

Mitsya · October 2012

I don't think it's weird not to talk to her. My MIL is a nice person & I like her, but she's a big ol' gossip & has no respect for boundaries. I *can't* talk to her unless I'm okay with anyone & everyone she runs into knowing the details of our conversations. That's not hyperbole-- the woman LOVES to talk.

BLuvsE · October 2012

I avoid my mother in law. My sister in law I consider to be a good friend, but we haven't been talking as much as we used to...no reason really except we're both busy.

I don't think it's weird the few women I know who are close to their mothers in law don't have good relationships with their mothers.

shibby00 · October 2012

I text my MIL everyday to EOD, usually about DD. If my Mom was living I probably wouldn't talk to MIL so much, but she is as close to a "mom" as I'm going to get, lol. I see her at least once a week.

dlbello23 · October 2012

I have a similar relationship with my mil, but DH talks to her everyday so I'm sure he keeps her updated. When we see each other we chat like crazy, we just don't call each other, but I'm sure once LO is born she will call me more. To be honest I feel weird talking to her on the phone.

doggiemom4 · October 2012

It's not weird. I don't talk to my MIL. She will text or call every once in a while and I usually just shoot her a quick text back and answer the phone call very seldom. DH doesn't even really talk to her.

Daisy622 · October 2012

To me its not strange at all, sounds similar to my relationship with my MIL. We don't regularly chat, go to lunch, etc. She has not called once this pregnancy to see how I am feeling, heck I moved 3 weeks ago and she didn't even offer to help. I know she asks DH how I am but thats about it. When we see each other we talk and things are normal. I think both of us are content with the relationship, no ill will, just not best buds

stephanie6607 · October 2012

I never talked to anyone if my husbands family either. I don't think it's weird at all. Some families are really close & everyone talks all the time about anything and everything. Some don't.

My husband talks to my family all the time though. They text each other all the time.

His family was always 'too busy' to be bothered with me though.

MrsCarroll.6-10-07 · October 2012

My MIL and I are the same way. I don't think there's anything wrong with it!

MSUMands · October 2012

I would take non-awkward silence over the relationship I have with my MIL any day!

On a side note, my MIL and my husband's ex-girlfriend before me have a woooooonderful relationship and are constantly going out to lunch, shopping, etc. They are just the perfect pair! *vomits*

ShawMich · October 2012

We never talk to my MIL unless it is for a birthday for one of our boys or a holiday. She is pretty much the worst grandma ever. We never see her.

AimeeL85 · October 2012

My relationship with my MIL is the same. She actually calls once or twice a week to check in, but I always let DH get the phone. I'm terrible because if he's not around I don't even pick it up.

I don't hate her but I just don't have that kind of relationship with her and I don't really chit chat with anyone on the phone except my own mom. She probably thinks it's weird, but eh, I stopped caring what she thinks a long time ago.

this decaf life · October 2012

I'm the same exact way. I don't have anything against my MIL... I'm just not a chatter. I call my mom fairly often but I feel like I have nothing to talk to MIL about and she's never called/texted/FB messaged me so I don't think it's a big deal.

jbutterfly82 · October 2012

I'm glad I'm not the only one. My DH and SIL talk to their mother at least twice a day. The only time I talk to them is when we visit each other. My family doesn't even talk on a regular basis. I get a text from my sister once a month. My husband thinks its weird and says I should call them sometimes, but I don't see a need to.

Mama-Bear · October 2012

We go to IL's every Friday for dinner (and sometimes other days through the week) so I talk to them then at a minimum. If I have a question, I'll test MIL (or if she has a question she'll text me), but that's about it. We never call one another just to chat, and we don't really go out together usually.

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