Am I just mean? — The Bump
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Am I just mean?

I just made the kid next door cry again! He knocked on the door to ask if my 4 year old can come and play. I said no because its too late. It was 4:20pm on a school day. That is too late right? I am not just that mean woman?

(my answer was also influenced by the fact that I have learnt that this 5 year old has a x-box in his bedroom and he plays games like Spider-Man (12+) and Batman (7+) unsupervised.) 

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Re: Am I just mean?

  • Am I a bad mom? My kid is barely 2 but none of this would bother me at 4. We eat at 6 and bedtime is 8-8:30 so I don't see 4:20 as late.
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  • Ok, the games would bother me, but what's wrong with 4:20? What time does your son go to bed? I would say that on a school night, they could play until dinner time. We just got back from the playground, actually (5:45 and dinner is at 6).

    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

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  • Tonight he had dinner at 4:30pm because he was hungry. Dinner is usually at around 5:30pm (so a snack will be needed just before bed). His Dad gets home at around 5:30pm that is why we eat then. I like him to be bathed and have his homework done before DH gets home so that they have some quality time together. He goes to bed at 7:30pm.
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  • I'd say they can play outside supervised till about 6pm.
  • I guess I am a mean mum. Oh well, I can deal with that. Stick out tongue
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  • imageBlushingMama:
    Tonight he had dinner at 4:30pm because he was hungry. Dinner is usually at around 5:30pm (so a snack will be needed just before bed). His Dad gets home at around 5:30pm that is why we eat then. I like him to be bathed and have his homework done before DH gets home so that they have some quality time together. He goes to bed at 7:30pm.

    Your 4 year old has homework? Not judging, just confused.


    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

  • imagekelly321:

    imageBlushingMama:
    Tonight he had dinner at 4:30pm because he was hungry. Dinner is usually at around 5:30pm (so a snack will be needed just before bed). His Dad gets home at around 5:30pm that is why we eat then. I like him to be bathed and have his homework done before DH gets home so that they have some quality time together. He goes to bed at 7:30pm.

    Your 4 year old has homework? Not judging, just confused.

    Yeah, he started primary school in September and starting this week they get reading homework every day.

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  • If you eat dinner at 5:30, IMO it would be fine for him to play until 5. However, I dont like the idea of the video games.
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  • If dinner was early etc and it was too much for that day I wouldn't feel bad. Sometimes its just to much. One day at a time right?!
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  • Let your child play, meanie :p
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  • imagecatmtl:
    Let your child play, meanie :p

    No! He is my child! Mine! Mine! Mine! (stomps foot and leaves the room)Crying

     

     

     

    Smile

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  • If its the kid I think it is then no I'd stand by you. Any other kids yes you're a mean Mum :)
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  • For computer games, def not. Perhaps, depending on the friend, until five if you eat at half five. But we eat at five, so my four year old doesn't play out after school. But we get home around four and I have to cook dinner so can't supervise outdoor play at that time.
    Mum to W (4) and M (nearly 2)
  • I don't think 4:20 is too late but I would agree with the Xbox thing so guess it would depend on the kid who invited him over. If you have a problem with the kid's activities then that is your call. 

    We are mean because our nieces don't get to watch TV on school nights (and the youngest does not get to  play on the computer) and are limited on non school nights. I'm sure they think we are horrible and other people think we are too strict. But that is our prerogative. Our kids , our rules. 

    Like Pp mentioned, maybe have the kiddo over at your house instead. He might even appreciated having to actually play something besides video games! 

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  • imageMouseInLux:
    If its the kid I think it is then no I'd stand by you. Any other kids yes you're a mean Mum :


    I think 4:20 is still early, but I've heard about this kid before, too. If it was another kid would you feel the same way? Or if we lived next door, would you feel the same way?
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  • imageTofumonkey:
    imageMouseInLux:
    If its the kid I think it is then no I'd stand by you. Any other kids yes you're a mean Mum :
    I think 4:20 is still early, but I've heard about this kid before, too. If it was another kid would you feel the same way? Or if we lived next door, would you feel the same way?

    It is the kid you guys are thinking of. And yes, Tofu, if it was your 2 kids I would probably be fine go play. So yeah, it is more the kid and not the time. Although if he knocked on the door at 4pm I would have said ok you can have a 20 minute play I just don't want them to only start playing after 4pm.

     For the people who suggested inviting him to play at my house, I do. We leave the front door open so they can come back and forth. But, the kid next door does not like to play at my house because I have don't allow them to play TV games (wii) without an adult playing with and then they are restricted to half an hour a day. When they over here I am happy to get the crafts stuff out, or they can play with any of DS's toys/dressing up box, etc. I offer to go play baseball/soccer, etc in the garden,but this kid only wants DS to come to his house. sometimes he humours us and comes over for 10 minutes and then insists they go play at his house. The worst part is that I have spoken to the boys mom and said that I don't want DS watching Ben 10 or Power Rangers or playing TV games, so now what happens is that they go over to the other boys house and DS then watches him play Batman or Spider-Man (and I suspect Ben10) on the X-box. Boys next doors mom never says no to anything and sets no boundaries, whereas I am quite strict and involved so you can see why he does not like to play here. 

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  • 4:20 is too late to play?

    I don't get that.

    Even if your 4 year old is getting homework, you shouldn't take more than about 10 minutes to complete it.

    promised myself I'd retire when I turned gold, and yet here I am
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