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December 2010 Moms
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WWYD? Baby Shower question

EVM1216EVM1216 member
in December 2010 Moms

My cousin is throwing her baby shower on next Saturday, which happens to be DH and I's 5th wedding anniversary.   We are driving into town the day before and should be getting in around 9:00 pm.  While I would like to see my family, I don't particularly want to got to this shower.  This cousin was supposed to be in my wedding, but dropped out 100 days before, after I had already bought her dress, because she didn't think it was fair that I could get married and she couldn't marry her gf (obviously I control the legality of gay marriages.)  And since has made no attempt to see me, she's never met DD, and obviously didn't go my shower.

So what say you?  Should I skip it or try to be the bigger person?  If I go I intend to provide her with some gently used nb clothes.

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Re: WWYD? Baby Shower question

  • jillybean800jillybean800 member
    I would not go, but send a gift.  Ditto the new gift: you don't give people presents that were already used. If you want to give her the NB clothes as well just to help out, that's fine, but they should be presented separately from the gift. Just choose something small off of her registry.
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  • lilmgirllilmgirl member
    I would not go, send a *small* gift.  I'd be annoyed.
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  • lulu8109lulu8109 member

    I definitely would not go.  I would maybe send a small gift.  Normally I try to be the bigger person, but she clearly hasn't put ANY effort into your friendship, so I don't think you should bother.

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  • lrn327lrn327 member
    I agree with the PPs - don't go and small gift, for me $10 max but I'm usually pretty thrifty!
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  • EVM1216EVM1216 member

    I didn't realized the used gift thing would be such a faux pas.  Embarrassed  It's fairly standard at baby showers  in my family.  The assumption being that you give more gently used things than you would of brand new things. 

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  • Cheekers2010Cheekers2010 member
    Yep. Send a congrats card and call it good.
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  • watermellenswatermellens member

    imagelilmgirl:
    I would not go, send a *small* gift.  I'd be annoyed.

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  • bumpuser260585bumpuser260585 member
    I wouldn't send a gift if I didn't attend the shower. If you do send a gift, I agree with pp that it should be new.
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  • dee12807dee12807 member
    I wouldn't go. And in the situation you described, I probably wouldn't send a gift either (unless of course you feel like you want to reconcile). I might tell someone else who is going to let her know you've set aside a few special hand me downs of she's interested, but I wouldn't give them without making her ask...
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  • JoJoMama730JoJoMama730 member
    imageEVM1216:
    I didn't realized the used gift thing would be such a faux pas. nbsp;[:]nbsp; It's fairly standard at baby showersnbsp; in my family.nbsp; The assumption being that you give more gently used things than you would of brand new things.nbsp;


    Aw, it's not a faux pas if it's common in your family and "understood". If you're at all unsure, then don't do it though. If it were me, I would have loved it and thought no less of the person. But I'm laid back like that.

     

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