Am I a bad mom already?

MSBrad · October 2012

I am 6 weeks 6 days. I have always wanted children (3 in fact), I have ALWAYS wanted nothing more than to be a mom. I had an amazing mother and always dreamed of the day I could have children and show them the amount of love I was shown. Now it is my time and I don't feel like I am having a baby. I mean when I think about that DH and I will have a child I'm excited (the baby was planned), but I feel the same excitement as I did when we were just talking about having a baby. DH said it became real for him after our first appointment, when they called back and it same the blood work came back and yes I was in fact going to have a baby. I actually forget that I am pregnant. What kind of first time mom forgets that? I have been sick nonstop so it's not like I am not having symptoms and that is why... ugh I am hoping when we go in on Nov 6 and have our first u/s that we hear a heartbeat and that helps. Please tell me I am not alone?.

laurenann82 · October 2012

I'm sure it's different for everyone, but I just started to feel pregnant this weekend after telling everyone. Before then, I just felt sick and tired! You'll have your moment soon!

ImperialFox940 · October 2012

If that makes you a bad mom already, then I am too. You're not alone in this at all.

Jaxcho · October 2012

It's ok, you have baby brain! Don't be so hard on yourself! There are times I am like "Wait....wait I am pregnant!" It's that whole emotional, surreal, experience. I am sure there is a scientific explanation that goes with that, know what I mean? From what I read already, I am sure you will be a fantastic mommy!

KCBrelo · October 2012

You are not alone in this at all. I feel like I should have the daycare picked out, my bag packed, nursery decorations and furniture picked out for either a boy or girl, and I am only 9 weeks. The truth is. I have done none of that. It does not feel real yet. I had my first appointment last week and saw the heartbeat. It is for real, but still feels like it's a fairytale or happening to someone else. I'm hoping that some of that feeling changes at week 12 and week 20. If it weren't for the excessive tiredness, hunger, and occassional dizziness in the morning, I wouldn't know I was pregnant!

WashingtonQueen · October 2012

You are NOT a bad mom! Sometimes it just takes a little while to sink in that you are infact pregnant and you will be a mom in 9 months. Personally, I didn't really feel pregnant or connect with my baby until I started to feel him move everyday.

jlpev · October 2012

No!! Taking care of yourself right now is being a good mom.

I remember those moments when I was pregnant with DS. Once the baby is here, you might still have bad mom moments. Don't worry you can be the best mom ever and still have those moments. Lately with me having Ms, ill let DS watch TV while I'm in the bathroom throwing up. With that being said those days I feel like a bad mom!! But I know I could do a lot worse.

pumpkin491 · October 2012

I forget I'm pregnant all the time too! I felt the same way when I was pregnant after DS. It will hit you after the first u/s. and when you start showing there is no forgetting as you get bigger!

Have you started reading what to expect when you're expecting? I think there's a chapter about how it's normal to feel this way in your first tri.

skio · October 2012

This is kind of overdramatic. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're not a bad mom just because you don't feel pregnant yet; that has nothing to do with mothering.

It's normal to feel detached and for the whole pregnancy experience to feel surreal for a while. I didn't feel connected to my baby or pregnancy with DD until I found out it was a girl at 20w. It's easier this time around. You'll get there, I promise. Try to relax and enjoy not feeling pregnant yet, because soon enough that baby will be kicking the crap out of you, giving you backaches and sciatica and keeping you from sleep. There'll be no doubt then that you feel pregnant! Feel better.

Unknown · October 2012

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kdr1120 · October 2012

No, I don't think you are. In fact, I have no symptoms virtually. But what makes me feel bad is the fact my HCG levels are low and I am not sure if everything is okay or not? And it is driving me up a wall. I notice that I feel hungry but nothing really turns me on. I tried eating oatmeal and cereal this morning and they both tasted horrible. I just ate lunch which was decent and I want more b/c I am so hungry. I am happy that I am going to be a mom but I think I will be 20x more happier once I get a call saying my levels are higher

daisy19782011 · October 2012

The same thing happens to me. I think it will feel more real, the further along we get. I haven't been real sick or anything, so sometimes I just feel like me and totally forget about it. I dont think you are alone.

jane.says · October 2012

It's going to be a long road for you if you allow yourself to feel bad about this! I forget I am pregnant all the time and it hasn't felt real for me during my previous pregnancies until I could actually feel the baby moving. You are definitely not alone and I have always found that I cannot relate to the people who are 6 weeks pregnant and have their baby named and their nursery planned. At this early stage I'm still processing that I'm actually bringing another human being into the world. That's enough to think about right now!

La0128 · October 2012

I am in the same boat! I felt pregnant before I took our test but then just a few days after it I didn't. I think mine is more nerves and being scared than anything. I feel like a bad mom because my husband is super excited and I'm freaking out worrying about all the things I should have worried about before we started to try having a baby.

ILoveSnacks · October 2012

When I'm not feeling sick, I forget that I'm pregnant. I've been un-pregnant for 28 years & only pregnant for the last several weeks. And yes, I'm quietly thrilled, but I'm not bouncing around the house like "BABYBABYBABY!"... which is good because I don't think that level of excitement is sustainable until next spring. And I think that I'd annoy my family & friends in a hot second.

I think it's a huuuuuge leap to interpret not being blissed-out and pregnancy-focused 24/7 as being a bad mom.

swoodso464 · October 2012

I think this is all pretty normal. You might start feeling like it's real when you have your u/s, or when the baby starts to kick, or when you're obviously showing. Or you might not feel like it's real until you've delivered and there's an actual baby there to hold. I still feel a little disconnected at 7 weeks, and I know others do too. It doesn't make you a bad mom!

MSBrad · October 2012

Thank you all very much. To explain a little more why I brought it up is I am the last of my close friends to have a baby and with each of them from the moment they found out is all they talked about.

MSBrad · October 2012

I'm so sorry, fingers crossed and prayers coming your way that when they check again they are normal.

MelissaRae1525 · October 2012

I still forget sometimes until I get kicked in the bladder and almost pee myself. I'm 12 weeks until my due date and sometimes I still think "holy crap this is real I'm gunna be a mom."

mascioc2 · October 2012

My mom had a miscarriage with her first pregnancy at 8 weeks, so I feel like I am supressing any excitment until I get passed the 8 week mark. I just don't want to set myself up for disappointment. I've wanted to be a mom pretty much since my little brother was born, but it feels different when it actually is going to happen! I think there are just so many other emotions of fear and wanting to be the best parent you can be, that you forget about all about the excitement sometimes. I think it's totally normal and a portion of it can be attributed to all those extra hormones causing mood swings!

diana.filipi · October 2012

My first pregnancy I didn't really feel pregnant 'till I started showing around 22 weeks. Before that I had had about 8 u/s already.

Jessicadbaker · October 2012

How far along are you? With my first it didn't "hit" me until I felt my daughter inside me. And then it was like HOLY CRAPT I'm SO IN LOVE! ;-). This is my 2nd and I felt IN LOVE with being a mommy again as soon as I saw the first sono at 5 weeks. It will hit you momma, don't worry ;-).

Snapdragon750 · October 2012

Hehe what did you expect? To have nothing on your mind at all for 9 months besides, "I'mpregantI'mpregnantI'mpregnantI'mpregnant?" Even at 9 months pregnant with a belly like a basketball I sometimes "forgot" about being pregnant by thinking about something else. It's okay! Even after the baby is born, there will be times when you are focusing on other things, and that's healthy and does not make you a bad mom.

It's also really hard to believe that it's real before you start showing. I think that's true for almost everyone.

pinottoparenthood · October 2012

It's normal! I used to forget all the time. It's still not entirely real to me, and it's DEFINITELY not real to my husband.... and we've had two ultrasounds! Honestly, I don't think it's going to feel real until I hold a baby in my arms. But I still can't wait for that moment!

traneshaph · October 2012

This is our first child too. I'm 20 weeks & I still don't feel pregnant. I finally have a decent bump but if I had to conceal it, I still could. 85% of the ppl at work know, our families know, my baby shower is planned, I've completed my registry and we found out the sex 2 weeks ago. I actually just left a doctor's appt about 30 mins ago. I can feel her in there moving around. Yet, it still hasn't hit me. I watch "A Baby Story" almost every day and cry along with the moms. But, it still hasn't really hit me. Idk why. I think it's still surreal. It probably wont hit me until they're yelling "Push, push, push!" Lol.

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