Help this mom — The Bump
Dads & Dads-to-be

Help this mom

My DH and I have a 12 month old at home, and twins on the way. I have been on hospital bedrest since last Tuesday, and will be here until I deliver. The hospital is about an hour from home, so DH has been trying to get here 2-3 times a week with our daughter to visit, but it is hard with his work schedule, and not throwing off DD's schedule too much. Prior to bedrest, I took my daughter to daycare, picked her up, fed her dinner, and mostly bathed her, due to my DH work hours. He has since adjusted his schedule, and has been doing a great job with her, along with working his second job on weekends, and keeping up with housework.  I would love to do something special for him, or get him a nice gift to show him how much I appreciate all of his hard work during this time. He's basically been playing the role of single dad, and will do so until I am home from the hospital, which could still be a few weeks. I figured there is no better place to ask for suggestions than from other dads. So, if you were in this situation, what would you appreciate from your wife/partner? Thanks!

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Re: Help this mom

  • The consensus from the dads on this board is that a child (or in this case children) are present enough.  However, with this being a slight bit different than the typical "new dad present", if you feel the need to get him something, I'd say tie it into one of his hobbies.  If he likes video games, buy him the latest one he's wanting.  If he's into good beer or higher end alcohol, get him some of that.

    However, with 3 kids on the horizon, money is going to burn quick, he may simply just be ok with a big thank you (and I believe some dads have said a BJ is always a good gift - when you are home and feeling better of course).

  • A gift may not be necessary....most Dads don't want to be rewarded for being a Dad. It's our job, and I'm sure he is proud to work hard to provide and take care of his family. Just make sure that you are telling him thank you and giving him words of encouragement. Women forget, a few words of affirmation will go a long way!
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  • I agree with the other two - and i'm glad someone posted -- i saw 90+ views and 0 replies and thought "surely this isnt that difficult a question!" 

     IMHO, gratitude and heartfelt thanks are all i need from my wife to know that she appreciates me and what i do for her.  Sometimes she slips little notes (nothing fancy... a post-it or torn pieces of paper) with little love-yous on them into my bag or pockets and i find them an BEAM like a lighthouse.  Most guys are not too materialistic and prefer to know we are making our women happy and that they recognize that.  

     That said, you asked for GIFT suggestions, so if you insist, its really all about what HE likes (not to be confused with what YOU like that HE likes).   Most guys don't see a Mani-Pedi as a suitable gift (though some do!); however, like someone said here before, if you tie something into his hobbies, he's sure to appreciate it.  If he's an artist, buy him some supplies -- something he avoids buying himself for some reason or another...  If he likes to read, get him that book he mentioned, or a new one from his favorite authors.... Sports guy?  Maybe some memorabilia from his favorite team to hang in is Man-Cave.  

    It's really hard to say without knowing much about your man; but suffice to say he's doing what he's doing to support you and his family.  He's very likely going to be quite fine with some sincere gratitude and recognition. 


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  • Thanks for the feedback! I try to send him emails every day letting him know he's doing a great job, and telling him our DD probably loves the 1:1 time with him. I think I'll stick to that, and hopefully sometime in the next few months we can squeeze in a night out...if we can find someone crazy enough to watch all 3 kids :)
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