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Lonely

March2013FTMMarch2013FTM member
in Single Parents

Sort've feel like I may have a unique situation.

BF is 30, I'm mid 20s. Both work, nice cars, he owns a house, pay our own bills, no money issues. Found out we were pregnant after dating for 6 months. Went through a lot of crap, but now, I think he's... accepted his impending fatherhood. Kind've. He doesn't want to rearrange the house to accommodate baby items, lose our office so the baby can have a nursery - nothing of that nature. But he doesn't look  at me like a deer with headlights anymore.

He doesn't look at me with the same affectionate gaze he used to (likely because I've packed on pregnancy AND stress weight over the last 4-5 months).  
And to top that off, he works nights and I work days. Even when he's home, he sleeps. Pre-baby, when I was home, he was up wanting to do stuff together. It feels like he's avoiding me now.

In the end... I just feel lonely. Even though I'm not "single" yet, I'm alone 90% of the time, and the other 10% feels fake.

Lonely and pregnant, or lonely and mother are not two words that should ever be combined. 

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Re: Lonely

  • LLS02LLS02

    I'm in a similar situation.  I'm in my early 30's, my now ex is in his late 30's and has a 10 y/o daughter from previous marriage.  Found out we were expecting in July.  His first reaction was to terminate.  He wanted me to choose between him and my child.  Of course I chose the baby.  He soon came back and wanted to work it out as a couple.  That was mid-July.  He has "worked overtime" since then so he can "afford" a new baby.  We don't live together.  I have purchased almost all the bigger items needed, and he bought the crib.  That's it. 

    He hasn't wanted to shop for baby items, and when i try to talk to him about the baby, he completely ignores me.  Last week he started telling me I'm only concerned about his money.

    Yesterday I started my 20th week.  He took me to my A/S ultrasound last night.  Wouldn't look at the pictures, and mumbled under his breath every time the tech tried to involve him in conversation.  When he dropped me off at home, he informed me that he does not want anything to do with me or his son, and he shouldn't have to pay child support when the baby comes.  When he started to apologize and give an explanation why, I jumped out of the truck and slammed the door.  

    I have an awesome support system of family and friends but I can't help the feeling of being really alone.  And confused. And you are right...lonely and pregnant are NOT 2 words that should ever be combined.  I hope things get better for you dear.  But just know that no matter what happens with him, you will always have unconditional love from your LO.  This is something I'm trying to tell myself as well.  Stay strong!! :)

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  • kdr1120kdr1120
    I'm going through something similar to you. I'm 29 and BF is 37, divorced with 3 kids. This is my first pregnancy ever. We were having issues prior to BFP. I've been trying to work them out more then him. I'm still home with my parents and he owns a home about 45 min from me. He only shows interest about pregnancy when I call him. He hardly calls me. In fact I was in ER Thursday night due to really bad back pain. We didnt talk Thursday. I called Friday to tell him and he was so concerned, I asked him to pick me up Saturday between 5-6pm so I could spend the nigh with him. He said okay. Around 2:15 I started calling to confirm when he'd be at my house.. Well it's well over 24 hrs and no response. I've even tried calling his mom (who lives with him) she answered her phone once to tell me he wasn't home. 
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