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Natural Birth
mystrana
member
Recommendations to get through pushing phase?
mystrana
member
I'm looking for recommendations to get through the pushing phase. It's a bit soon for me to think about this since our next kid probably won't be for another year or two, but I think it will help me with closure on my recent birth. I had tried to go natural. I went med-free through dilation and started pushing, but ended up with an epidural due to lack of progression during pushing because I was in too much pain.
I didn't take any classes; my preparation had been to read everything I could about going med-free and I read tons of birth stories. A lot of the stories seemed to indicate that pushing, while not pain-free, was better than transition. I got through transition telling myself this, and then pushing turned out to be worse for me.
So, if anyone has experience with more pain during pushing or just any sort of general advice on a technique that they felt got them through pushing, I'd really appreciate hearing it. I really feel like I failed with my birth and would like to find ways to tackle the issue.
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Re: Recommendations to get through pushing phase?
First of all, you didn't fail.
Odds are you will have a much easier time pushing the second time around. Your body will know what's going on. I pushed 2+ hours with DS1 and 2 or 3 pushes with DS2. They were both 8lbs 8oz.
I hope you were encouraged to try different positions: I pushed on my back, on my sides, I squatted for the most productive pushing with DS1. With DS2 I was on my right hip more or less.
Many of my girlfriends who had long pushing phases with baby 1 had much easier times with baby 2. One in particular comes to mind. Over 4 hours of pushing with her first, less than 20 minutes with her second.
You for sure didn't fail.
Exactly. You didn't fail. Things maybe didn't go as planned, but you did what you needed to get your baby in your arms, and no one can predict ahead of time what exactly that means. You did a good job, mama!
And I agree, the pushing phase for subsequent labors could very well not be so difficult or long. I pushed for just over an hour with DS1, for 2 pushes with DD, and for about 3 minutes with DS2 (i guess 2 contractions). And each of my labors were so different, with different phases being more difficult than others.
Keep believing in yourself, find a care provider who allows for alternate pushing positions (squatting, side-lying, etc), and remember that every labor is different
For me, it was the constant encouragement from my husband and the reminder that each contraction was bringing us one step closer to meeting our child. There were moments when I said things like, "I don't know if I can do this" and he would respond, "you've already been doing it. You ARE doing it." It helped me stay motivated and thinking that there wasn't some new scary task waiting for me around the corner, I just had to keep doing what I've been doing. My first labor was tough, baby was OP and finally born after nearly three hours of pushing. Second labor was so, so, so much easier.
We took Bradley classes, so my husband was really prepped on ways to support me. My mom was with us in the delivery room, and afterward she asked me, "wasn't it distracting to have him whispering in your ear the whole time?" I laughed because that was the one thing that kept me from losing it!
I'm sorry the first time around was so tough for you. I can relate to your sentiments about pushing not being easier. I didn't really feel much relief from pushing, but I was just excited to be moving on to the next stage. Wishing you better luck for next time!
Thank you, thank you guys! It really means a lot to have someone say that I did ok and that next time can be better.
My husband and my nurse were great at encouraging me, but my dr did not encourage any different positions (I was semi-reclined and though a part of me was thinking "change positions!", I was so tired and scared of pain to try!) So I will keep that in mind.
And thank you principessa81!
Sometimes, I'm hilarious.
With my first delivery I pushed the standard way on back legs up, only for 16min considering my first. . . no epi.
Second time around labor came before I knew it and I was forced to think for myself since I had her at home, no planned btw. I knew what to do as everything was happening. I was personally in standing position during most of the pushing and laboring cause laying down did not feel normal and it was insanely painful. So standing was my only option and I let my body tell me and work the baby out itself as opposed to force pushing. I kind of "nudge" slightly with my bodies natural urge to squeeze baby out. Idk if that makes sense. I was told by all my dr's after getting an ambulance ride to hospital afterwards that standing is the best way since gravity helps and I didnt have any tearing just "rug burn" or whatever they called it.Although something did change cause I cant orgasm the same. . . .anywho another topic. but yeah GL!!!
Don't think in such black and white terms as med free = success; meds = failure.
Think of your main reason for going natural: it probably wasn't so you could have the bragging rights of saying "I went natural." It was probably because you believed a med-free birth was best for your baby.
Ultimately, you achieved that goal and did what was best for your baby. What was best for your baby was med free for a long time, then some pain relief at the very end to help you push the baby out.
All that being said, you'll probably find pushing to be oh-so-much easier the second time around. For better or for worse, the first little noggin stretches everything out down there, and all the subsequent noggins have an easier time busting their way out.
For me: baby #1: pushed for about 80 minutes - probably a dozen sets of pushes. baby #2: pushed for ... I don't know, maybe 3 minutes? - 1 set of pushes. In fact the doctor had to tell me to stop after the first push because he wasn't ready and DS was going to be born with one more push.
I'll add to the stories that the second time around was better! I pushed for 3 hrs for DD1 and I worried about that happening again with DD2. I was talking to my nurse all through labor w/ DD2 saying I really hope I don't have to push for 3 hrs again! I ended pushing for 13 mintues. My nurse timed it and was sure to tell me as soon as DD2 was born. It was not bad!
As far as dealing with the pain, I found that using a "focal point" really helped this time around. My focal point was the TV right in front of me. I think I'll always associate pushing whenever I see the "LG" logo ;-)
I'm going to sound like an idiot, but seeing it phrased that way really makes a difference! I could smack myself on the head. I'm always trying to preach moderation in all things and that nothing is all this or all that, and I didn't listen to myself.
I'm glad to hear all the great examples of a shorter 2nd time with pushing.
Sometimes, I'm hilarious.
You definitely didn't fail. I see in your siggy pic that your baby is now on the outside. success!
I pushed for under 30 mins, but I didn't start pushing till there was no other choice. I was more afraid of pushing than transition. I labored in the tub and moved around as needed. I started pushing on the toilet because I was scared and my midwife suggested it since that the place where we are used to pushing. I eased into pushing just by practicing bearing down and built up to real pushes. The whole time I had no idea how many cm I was or anything like that. It just never came up, and honestly it was nice not feeling restricted or pressured by those numbers.
I popped over to your blog and read your birth story and I would recommend using a MW next time. They are more likely to encourage moving around and trying different positions and aren't so focused on the numbers as an indication of progression/ readiness to push. Your next one will most likely go faster anyway and since you know what to expect, you will probably have a better experience.
Thank you! I appreciate your in-depth response.
Sometimes, I'm hilarious.
I completely agree that the stories have been encouraging. I'm so thankful for this board. It is by far the best resource I've found online.
Sometimes, I'm hilarious.
You did NOT fail! You have a sweet and wonderful baby!
Also, with me, I found that being upright helped to get him to move down (he was almost crowning when I started to officially "push." I stayed on my exercise ball until I couldn't take those contractions any more.
I also read about something called "J-Breathing." It's mother directed pushing where you breathe the baby out instead of holding your breath and pushing. It worked amazingly well - he was out in 30 mins. It's different for everyone, but for me I found pushing to be the "down and dirty" part...I kept reminding myself that I go this far, I can do it, and I kept talking to little man as he was moving down "we can do it, baby!" "Come on out, baby!"
You have to do what your body tells you to do and nothing less - good luck, mama, and congratulations!
)
I definitely understand how you felt with regard to pushing being more painful, although I was happy to know that pushing meant it was almost over; the pain was much much worse.
I would suggest that you talk about this with a care provider when you decide to have another child and make sure you let them know how you felt during the pushing phase.