WWYD: 3 treatment options (long)

jeannaqueena · October 2012

Ok, major update, but no decisions have been made I would love to hear what you would do. So, we had a LONG meeting with our RE and a baseline u/s today. First, they found another cyst on my left ovary. RE put me on BCP to help shrink it. It also helps put me on hold till we make a decision. Side note: It is weird b/c I swore I would never take them again.

Anyway, my RE said to me, I am shocked you are not pg. He in no way means was forcing us towards IVF, but was more realistic that we would get PG that way. So, we haven't decided what we are going to do, but here are our 3 options.

1) do a repeat HSG (its been 3 years, but i have gotten PG 3 times since) on Wednesday if they say "wow your tubes were blocked" we will probably do a TI injectable cycle as we have been doing once the cyst is gone.

2) do a repeat HSG on Wed and they find nothing wrong we might just take some time off till the new year and try on our own.

3) do HSG on Wed find nothing and move to IVF. The RE wanted us to go ahead and get on the schedule for IFV, nurse meeting is Nov. 15 and would be CD1 for us to start IFV.

We got a lot of $ info looks like it is closer to 15k than 20k; if we could get the rest of my meds donated it could be 12k. Then any FET cycles would be about what we are paying now for TI/Injectable cycles.

If it wasn't the money we would do it. I think we are also leaning towards starting the foster to adoption process in January. I have started reading up on it. It is so stressful. I feel like I have figured this whole IF world out and the lingo and different methods of getting PG, now there is this whole other world of different ways of adopting...prayers appreciated and any insight welcome.

I am praying that this inheritance money comes through for my mom and she is feeling giving. (she has promised us some just not a firm amount). But if it doesn't we have no savings b/c we wiped it clean after we lost the twins and their birth and then DS prenatal care and no maternity coverage. 20k gone so fast. There is a small possibility of a loan from DH's company. So if you were in our shoes, what would you do.

PAIF welcome

AprilDrew04 · October 2012

Sending you lots of thoughts and prayers. These decisions are so tough. In my opinion I would go ahead and do the HSG. Hopefully it is clear, and then you could move forward with some protocol to try right away. If it were me, I would pray and assume that if the inheritance money came through and were enough to cover IVF, then I would go for it. I think we would definitely have a good chance of success with IVF, but money is holding us back. We owe for DD birth, student loans and other medical bills, so I couldn't see borrowing and owing more.

I think adoption is a great option, if you are truly ready to move on to that step. That is our next step once we are ready for it.

Best of luck with your decision and may God help you with it.

DahliaFlower · October 2012

I am sorry for all your current stress. I am going through some of the same myself at the moment. All I can tell you is that after we lost our daughter, no one really believed (OB, RE, etc.) that I had a true fertility problem. Now, almost 2 years later, I have failed every therapy, including one round of botched IVF w/ a lousy protocol. We are thinking of giving it a go at the top clinic on this side of the US. We are sort of going for broke, but it means that much to us. I just hope you are with the best RE possible. Don't waste your $$$ with someone who can't figure out what's going on.

e74 · October 2012

I would definitely do the HSG. No matter what, you will need that done. I'm not sure what to tell you to do next, we are kind of looking into options right now ourselves. I know with our RE, he had papers that he gave us about getting a loan to do ivf--- I will pray that the inheritance comes through--- good luck to you, sending lots of positive thoughts.

74dragonfly · October 2012

I don't know what I would do. IF decisions are so hard. I'm sending you hugs. I wish I had an answer.

mrsfaz2be · October 2012

That is hard. I would def. do the HSG, just to check and make sure they are clear. It sounds like your options are either another round of injectibles, try on your own or go to IVF. I would probably wait on the IVF...maybe try one more month with the injectibles after the BC. The reason I say this is many times our bodies are more responsive to the meds after being on BCP's. I was on 6 or 7 cycles of femara the first time trying to get pregnant with DS and then had to go on BCPs one month from cysts. The month after I got pregnant. The doctor said he sees this a lot....I guess your hormones stabilitze from the BCPs and allow you to absorb the injectibles better. It is up to you. But, I think maybe next month after BCPs you have higher odds. I know this is tough.

ceebeetee · October 2012

Such hard decisions. I agree with everyone about def doing the hsg. I personally think I would then either do option 1 or 2 depending on your results, and say if it doesn't happen in x number of months then we move on to IVF. That way you can try to save up some money as well. But that's just me and I can also understand wanting to skip straight ahead to something that gives you a higher chance.

As for the foster to adopt situation, I think that is also awesome. I used to work for child services and worked with foster kids and parents all the time so have a very good knowledge base about how all that works. There are so many kids who are so awesome who need homes. If you have any specific questions about the process I would be glad to talk to you about it. I worked in a diff state than you and things are diff everywhere but the basic stuff is similar.

hoping4more · October 2012

Oh how I could go into the heartbreak we have had to deal with in the foster to adopt...

As for decision regarding the ivf or injects... get the hsg done then decide

jeannaqueena · October 2012

DahliaFlower:
I just hope you are with the best RE possible. Don't waste your $$$ with someone who can't figure out what's going on.

I haven't researched it much. How do you find out who is the best? I do know my RE said they are in the top 5 in the country.

jeannaqueena · October 2012

ceebeetee:
As for the foster to adopt situation, I think that is also awesome. I used to work for child services and worked with foster kids and parents all the time so have a very good knowledge base about how all that works. There are so many kids who are so awesome who need homes. If you have any specific questions about the process I would be glad to talk to you about it. I worked in a diff state than you and things are diff everywhere but the basic stuff is similar.

I might take you up on this and pick your brain in January! I was reading up on it on the adoptuskids website and it reading about siblings that need to be adopted together really pulled at my heart. Would/Could be a great way to finish our family.

JilliansMoma · October 2012

I guess my question would be how old are you? When we decided to do IVF for DD#2 I was 36. The impact of my eggs being just one year older really dropped the odds of our IVF being successful, so that helped spur our decision to towards IVF.

We had been TTC #2 since DD#1 was 6 months old both on our own and through 3 failed and 1 cancelled IUI's. My RE told us that if I wasn't PG after three IUI's then the chances of it working for us were slim. We were lucky that our insurance covered the IUI's, meds, and the HSG.

I was also scared about the $$$$. What if we spent it all and it didn't work? My DH was adamant about spending the money. Our RE gave us excellent odds and DH knew we would always wonder if we didn't try to expand our family. We took $4000 from our savings, took out a loan through our RE for $5000 and charged the $1400 in medication. By the time DD#2 was one she was "paid off". The payment on the loan from the RE was approx $175 per month and I was able to pay about $300 each month.

We also had 5 frozen embryo's that were from my 36 year old eggs. That is how I am PG again with #3 at 38. I guess for me it would be an odds thing at this point, especially if you are OOP for the TI and injectable cycles and the HSG (which you wouldn't need if you were doing IVF because your tubes are taken out of the equation with IVF). GL jeanna it is such a hard position to be in and if you have any other questions for me about IVF just let me know.

JM

ceebeetee · October 2012

jeannaqueena:
ceebeetee:
As for the foster to adopt situation, I think that is also awesome. I used to work for child services and worked with foster kids and parents all the time so have a very good knowledge base about how all that works. There are so many kids who are so awesome who need homes. If you have any specific questions about the process I would be glad to talk to you about it. I worked in a diff state than you and things are diff everywhere but the basic stuff is similar.
I might take you up on this and pick your brain in January! I was reading up on it on the adoptuskids website and it reading about siblings that need to be adopted together really pulled at my heart. Would/Could be a great way to finish our family.

I would be more than happy to talk about it, when/if you all decide to explore that route! i agree, the sibling groups are always the most heartbreaking. States definitely do all they can to keep sib groups together, but it doesn't always work out. anyway, good luck to you with all your decisions!

jeannaqueena · October 2012

JilliansMoma:
I guess my question would be how old are you?
I was also scared about the $$$$. What if we spent it all and it didn't work? ....DH knew we would always wonder if we didn't try to expand our family.
We also had 5 frozen embryo's that were from my 36 year old eggs.
I guess for me it would be an odds thing at this point, especially if you are OOP for the TI and injectable cycles and the HSG (which you wouldn't need if you were doing IVF because your tubes are taken out of the equation with IVF). GL jeanna it is such a hard position to be in and if you have any other questions for me about IVF just let me know.
JM

I am 32. Basically, unexplained IF. The past 3 injectable cycles have been what he refereed to as "beautiful" ovaries with great response and follies. I can't seem to get PG.

I am terrified of spending the $ and having nothing to show of it. I am terrified of what that BFN would feel like. I feel like my DH would do IVF in a heartbeat if he knew 100% we would get a child from it, we look at our DS and think we would have spent all our money for him, he is that precious. We have always wanted 3 children. Right now I can't imagine having a second child, and like you said having frozen embies gives us a chance to really try for a 3rd child in a realistic and affordable way down the road.

Can I ask what meds you took with the first IVF? I am trying to get a handle on the list of meds they might give me. If I can then I can get a closer idea to the cost of the meds. They want to keep me on Follistim.

My RE did say he wanted the HSG even if we did IVF something to do with looking at more than my tubes and seeing more info on my uterus. I was so over whelmed at that time I think I was done absorbing info.

Thanks for all your kind words.

DahliaFlower · October 2012

I don't really believe in "unexplained" - I think it's just that they haven't worked you up enough to figure out the problem. Admittedly, it's a costly process, much not covered by insurance.

I think an HSG or even better, a hysteroscopy / laparoscopy might be in order, even if you are planning to do IVF.

In my case, I had done one round of IVF (unsuccessful fresh and miscarriage after FET) before I did the laparoscopy and hysteroscopy. Turns out I had significant endometriosis, even though I had zero symptoms except trouble conceiving. If untreated, it can decrease the likelihood of IVF working. The doctor can also see if your tubes are open w/ a tubal dye study.

On top of this, I have had to pursue my own work-up w/ other doctors for a possible immune cause of implantation failure. I have finally found an RE who is going to be addressing these issues. I feel like the first two cycles I did were sort of a waste, b/c I was not properly worked up in an orderly fashion.

I already knew I needed Lovenox and aspirin for treatment cycles. Hopefully you have been looked at for any coagulation issues.

PM me if I can give you any further details.

efhoping2010 · October 2012

I think if I were you I would definitely do the repeat the HSG and proceed based on those results. With IVF remember, often not just meds are a separate cost but also labs and monitoring. Things like ICSI and assisted hatching are also separate costs as are cataloging and storing embryos. I am not saying do not attempt IVF, I just remember being shocked the first time at all of the added costs ontop of the main fee. Wishing you the best of luck at a tough decision. If you have questions about IVF or FET, etc. sadly I am already a pro but am happy to answer. Good luck!

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