thinking about putting my baby up for adoption

lilrockstar · October 2012

hi.

i just found out i'm pregnant. i'm thinking about putting the baby up for adoption. im only 16 and i cant take care of it, and i know my parents will probably send me away when i tell them.

heaven22tw · October 2012

I'm sorry your parents wont be supportive. Have you talked to a counselor yet to discuss options?

IRR · October 2012

Hi - Welcome to the board. If you just found out you have some time to weigh your options. I suggest talking to a counselor at your school or your doctor and asking them to get you in touch with someone who can provide you with options. If you do want to give up your child for adoption, work with an agency who will work on an adoption plan with you and decide what kind of an adoption you want. Best of luck and if you have any questions, there are lots of folks, both birth moms and adoptive parents that may be able to answer them for you.

TTCbabyHarris · October 2012

Hey...sorry to hear that. I had an unwanted pregnancy when I was young and got an abortion. Its expensive but it was worth it at the time. Adoption seems like a great idea! Kinda like the movie "Juno". What I would do is put together a whole lot of information about adults who have trouble concieving. People who are happily married and cant have children, but want to. Take in all this information, and more about adoption agencies too, so when you sit down to talk to your parents, you can answer ALL there questions and give them feed back and tell them about a family that is deserpate for a child that you can help. Get educated, and make your parents understand that you would be doing it for a great cause in someone elses life. The best thing to do is try not to get upset and in a screaming war over it. Keep calm and show them your mature enough to go through with it. Get information about how your going to continue school and let them know nothing is going to change.

Good luck!!!!!

theroadahead · October 2012

lilrockstar:
hi. i just found out i'm pregnant. i'm thinking about putting the baby up for adoption. im only 16 and i cant take care of it, and i know my parents will probably send me away when i tell them.nbsp;

How do you get pregnant without having sex?

CaptainSerious · October 2012

theroadahead:
How do you get pregnant without having sex?

Hey, now, roadhead, I checked out your board and know what you are referencing here, but we strive to keep this board a safe place for all members touched by adoption. I don't know specifics, and I don't care. If there's even a chance that this poster is pregnant and doesn't know what to do, she deserves to post on this board and receive caring advice without any interference. So I ask that you respectfully refrain from posting in this post or on this board unless you have something heartfelt to add about adoption.

firecracker8 · October 2012

CaptainSerious:
theroadahead:
How do you get pregnant without having sex?

Hey, now, roadhead, I checked out your board and know what you are referencing here, but we strive to keep this board a safe place for all members touched by adoption. I don't know specifics, and I don't care. If there's even a chance that this poster is pregnant and doesn't know what to do, she deserves to post on this board and receive caring advice without any interference. So I ask that you respectfully refrain from posting in this post or on this board unless you have something heartfelt to add about adoption.

Thank you Captain! Roadahead- This is a flame free board. Please don't bring your drama here.

DaisyZH · October 2012

Is there a counselor at school or church that you could talk to? I'm sorry that you are afraid of you parents' reaction, that is very tough. Definately try to get some help with this, it is so hard and remember you don't have to decide right this instant to choose adoption, you can take your time, talk to people and do research if it is something you are interested in.

If you want to parent, there are lots of programs out there aimed at teen moms, parenting classes, sometimes there are housing programs if your parents do send you away, etc.

Also, take care of yourself, pregnancy is not always easy even in the best of situations. Eat well, get rest, drink water, breathe and find a trusted adult to help you through this.

amm78 · October 2012

I agree with the previous posters that recommend talking to a counselor. You can talk to a counselor at school or at a crisis pregnancy center. You can also contact a non-profit adoption agency to learn about your options. I hope your parents are able to help you through this... they might surprise you!

Marymilroy · October 2012

Ditto to what the other posters have said. Find someone to talk to. And tell your parents--they'll probably surprise you with their ability to understand and help you through this. Tell them sooner rather than later.

What a scary, overwhelming situation. Good luck!

lilrockstar · October 2012

thank you ladies for answering.

i think that really adoption is my only option. i dont know about agencies though. i know somebody who used an agency and she said they were corersive to her and i want to make my own decision.

firecracker8 · October 2012

lilrockstar:
thank you ladies for answering.
i think that really adoption is my only option. i dont know about agencies though. i know somebody who used an agency and she said they were corersive to her and i want to make my own decision.

Oh no, no, no!!! Stay away from any agency that you hear is like that. Find an agency who is warm and loving and will not tell you what to do either way, just help you find the resources you need to make your decision. Bethany Christian Services is in a lot of areas, maybe look for them. You can also just find a crisis pregnancy center or hotline and they will be able to give you names of adoption agencies that you can contact. Good luck!!!!

greenteabee · October 2012

Whatever happens, whatever you decide, good luck. I hope things work out for you and your baby.

Adoption has to be your choice. You have to make peace with it, not your parents. If you want to parent, do it. If you decide to place, do it. Or have an abortion, that's your choice too. Take your time. It's rough, I know.

hoopduck · October 2012

Hello lilrockstar. I hope no one minds me posting here - I am not involved in an adoption process myself, however I am adopted. I just wanted to add my two cents. Adoption for me was a blessing. I had a wonderful childhood and grew up with lots of love in my life. Something really sweet you can do if you decide to go down this path - write a letter to your child and include it in the adoption. I had one when it was time for me to find out and it really helped me to understand my birth parents point of view, and why they decided to give me up. It's hard to grow up not knowing your roots, but knowing they did it to give me a better life, one with the opportunities they could not provide (they were both quite young) really helped. My adoptive parents could not have children of their own and they really treasured us. Good luck to you!

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