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Stay at Home Moms
MAprincess
member
Is anyone here an "off line" parent?
MAprincess
member
I've been reading a lot of articles about off-line parenting.
This mostly consists of keeping photos of your children (and specific stories) off of facebook and other social media sites as well as blogs and the like.
I have facebook and have pictures of my children on my facebook and have the securities all the way up. I have vastly cut back with what I post aobut them and have toyed with the idea of limiting photographs of them. Does anyone here fall in this boat?
My question is, if you live this type of lifestyle, how do you stop others from posting pictures? Mainly, my ILs post pictures of every event that happens and this includes phtos of my children. I have no control over their securities on their sites or who sees the pictures. This is what really bothers me. I'd prefer they not post pictures of my kids, but really this starts making me look like a total control freak in their eyes.
But I digress- off-line parenting. Thoughts?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Is anyone here an "off line" parent?
I guess I understand people worrying about security and privacy issues. However, my facebook is private, my only friends are very close friends and relatives. I guess for us, it's a non-issue. I wouldn't post details about DD in a blog but am totally okay with facebook. I will say my DH made sure when she was born no naked pics ended up on facebook. Only swaddled ones. So no baby just born on the scale pics for us.
I don't have any advice. I guess you can ask your IL's to take the photos down.
Olivia Kate is almost 4!
Diagnosed with autism this year and doing great!
So that doesn't really bother us. We personally feel that our kids don't need an online presence this young. I read somewhere that most children in the US now have an online presence by the age of 2 (which they defined as something like having a FB page, or many hits on google, etc...).
I definitely think that you have the right to ask people (such as in-laws) to not post/be very careful about posting pics of your LO(s). This can be done in a polite, non-confrontational way. However, if they choose not to adhere to your wishes, that is their choice. Then you have another choice: let them take photos of your LO or not.
You need to decide what is right for your family.
All the internet creepers out there. We'd prefer to limit their access to our children's info./photos for as long as possible.
Hard copies of photos are different. You show them off, but at the end of the day only you have them. Not the creepy guy in the basement down the street/across town/wherever. Class photos would be fine. (Except we plan to homeschool, so that won't apply.)
A question in return...why does a baby/infant/toddler/preschooler need an online presence?
I homeschooled and my class photos were in our school's yearbook. Just sayin'.
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
You have a picture of your naked dirty child in a sink...what about that is not revealing and/or embarrassing for Hadley?
But you just said you wouldn't ever put a picture of her that was revealing or embarrassing...and I think that picture is both. I'm not "making you sound dirty", I'm calling you a hypocrite. Stop being a drama queen, dog zapper.
I'm not judging either. What others do with pics of their LOs is their choice. But, respectfully, I don't believe an online presence is necessary for the "prosperity and safekeeping of my memories."
I do take pics of my LOs. I do back them up to an external drive. I also upload to a photo sharing site, such as shutterfly. I just don't believe my children's online presence needs to be more than that at this point.
I do sent pics/links of pics from that site to family and friends (both near and far).
Yet, the thought of some creeper strange using my child's photo for nefarious purposes does bother me. I'd prefer to limit that as much as possible. Frankly, the thought that it happens with any child's photo bothers me. I can't control how many pics there are of other people's LOs out there. I can control (to some extent) the photos of my LOs.
And I choose to do so to keep my child a little less likely to become a victim.
One friend of DH's asked if he could announce DS's birth with a picture from the hospital, after DS was swaddled and had a hat on, and we let him. MIL has put 2 pictures on FB, but asked if she could each time. One was DS over her shoulder so you could really only see half of his face anyway. Otherwise, everyone knows we're not comfortable with them posting pictures. I actually have a friend that always asks for my permission to even take a picture of DS, let alone put it anywhere. With her 10 year old nephew she asks him directly if she can take his picture.
For us, it's not a paranoia about child predators or someone tracking down LO, it's just that he can't give his permission to have his picture on the internet and he doesn't need to be on the internet.
It's not that it's not cute, because I can see how somebody would think it was cute. But it's just that it's exactly what she said she wouldn't do. I. hate. hypocrites.
Every time I see your sig and The Dude, I think of the Big Lebowski.
As pp said, a hard copy goes right back in your purse. Not on some creeps wall. I am not hard-core. I actually have pictures on my fb. I also have a password protected shutterfly account to share with family. But the ones on my IL's pages are not administrated by me and once they are out, I have no control. It's not necessarily the "creeps" out there (though if I think about it, it creeps me out), it's more that DH is not in contact with certain people in his family and prefers THEY don't have access to any part of our lives. When the photos go up on his siblings page, these people can see them.
But really, I was just interested in what others thought of off-line parenting. It does make sense to me. there's no reason for so many people to see them. Mt family has access to the shutterfly account or I could e-mail them. Definitely something we are thinking about cutting back on.
Yes...go away newbie lurker, nobody cares what you think.
Personally I thought it was hilarious. It was...wait for it...a joke!
LOL!
To OP - some people suggested Shutterfly and I am a big fan. They have a free password protected website that you can upload photos to and share with family if you're not comfortable with FB. I have actually been considering taking my photos off of FB and putting them back onto the Shutterfly site that I started (and maintained) when DD#1 was born. I also like it for the fact that family members can then order any pictures they may want to have at home.
Also, I realize that the fears that some people have about the pedophiles looking up your children, etc. At my old job, I worked with an attorney who defended court assigned criminal cases (sorry, there is a term for it and my mind is just not working right now - need to go get my second cup of coffee). Anyway,we had a ton of pedophile cases - they were disheartening and just downright disgusting. However, that being said, a week after DD#1 was born, I had the local police come knocking on my door to announce and have me sign off on the fact that a registered sex offender was moving in right behind my house - yes, I can throw a stone at his house. I make sure, every day, that my daughter's bedroom window is closed up good and tight, I don't let her out in the back yard, which is completely fenced with 8 foot fences, without my being there - not even to ride her bike while I am right in the kitchen cooking dinner. I digress, but my point is, unfortunately, these sickos are everywhere!
Finally, for OP and those mentioning IL's, friends, family posting pictures of your LO's on FB, there is now an option that you can choose (which I do) to approve ANY pictures with you in them (assuming that they tag you) prior to them being posted on FB.
Meh, I can see why people worry about it, but I personally don't really think it's a huge issue. But! I don't post a ton of photos of my kids online (definitely not here), and I have my FB settings set quite high. I have also cut a lot of people off my friends list there, but more for just my own privacy, also.
My mom will post photos of my kids, but it's not a huge amount. I guess having other people post photos of your kids is a side-effect of the internet. You could ask her not to tag you in them, so people who don't know them directly won't be able to identify them.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
Not to sound mean, but "some creeper" could be hiding in the bushes, checking out your kids in real life. I just don't think the risk of some stranger finding a kid's photo is worth the worry.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
Let go and let yourself out...
Since you are not a part of this community, I really don't care what you have to say...but if you insist on saying it, please speak in a way we will understand. It's much easier to ridicule you when I don't need a translator.
Very true (well, sort of. At least, not at our house. We don't have bushes.
Frankly, I don't have FB. Why? No desire, plus I am lazy. I know that if I start, I could spend way too much time there. Not having my child's photo out there is just another benefit from that to me.