Who will you have in the delivery room?

MSW_721 · October 2012

Is anyone considering having other people besides your DH in the delivery room with you? Or have you in the past? My sister had mentioned that she wouldn't mind attending the birth. She's younger than me and doesn't really have a desire to have kids but would like to experience birth. I don't think I'd have a problem with her being there and it might be a neat bonding experience. I'm just worried that if I invite her, my SIL or MIL might feel left out. I just don't want a huge party in the room, you know what I mean?

braelyn26 · October 2012

i would love to have as many people that wanted but only allowed one other besides hubby, this time i will have his mom. my mom was at both of my daughters births and my sisters and my MIL has only a son so i think it will be a very exciting experience for her to be such a big part.

jglenn4 · October 2012

I plan on having my husband and a Doula.

happy_un-bride · October 2012

DH will not be with me during delivery. Luckily, my mom has offered to join me. She is really the only other person I would have had there - otherwise I would have done it alone.

rajaangel · October 2012

I was expecting to have just my DH in the room the last time. But I ended up asking my mom to stay. And I'm so glad! I designated her to take pictures of the process (nothing down below!) If she weren't there, I wouldn't have those precious first moments of our son being born and the tears of joy from the both of us. And my husband got to concentrate on holding my hand and enjoying the moment instead of worrying about at camera. Maybe your sister can take those pictures for you. And I agree, I didn't want tons of people in the room, it's such an intimate precious moment with your husband.

MizMess · October 2012

I think in our case it'll just be me, DH, and the midwife if all goes according to plan. I definitely don't want any family other than DH in there during the pushing part.

If I were in your situation, though, I might be ok with having my sister there. I think as long as you explain it to your SIL and MIL the way you explained it to us, they shouldn't feel slighted. Honestly, I'd feel super awkward with any of my ILs in the room, and I think they'd agree.

MSW_721 · October 2012

rajaangel:
I was expecting to have just my DH in the room the last time. But I ended up asking my mom to stay. And I'm so glad! I designated her to take pictures of the process (nothing down below!) If she weren't there, I wouldn't have those precious first moments of our son being born and the tears of joy from the both of us. And my husband got to concentrate on holding my hand and enjoying the moment instead of worrying about at camera. Maybe your sister can take those pictures for you. And I agree, I didn't want tons of people in the room, it's such an intimate precious moment with your husband.

I will definitely ask my sister to take pictures. With my DS we don't really have any within the first hour and it's always been a regret of mine. Even though I'm sure I'll be looking like a hot mess, they'd be nice to have and look back on.

emriley84 · October 2012

DH and my mom, unless something crazy happens and we need her to watch DS. Obviously having someone we trust and DS is comfortable with to take care of him is a bigger priority than her being in the delivery room.

SarahRae85 · October 2012

The first time, I would have been completely lost without my mommy there. DH didn't have a clue what to do and kind of went into a panic when there was nothing he could do to help me. I'd done my reading, but he had no clue what to do, lol. So, she kept both of us sane through our first experience.

The second time, I fully intended to have my youngest sister (and my mom) there. My sister lives for being an aunt. At the time she was only 17, but she was so excited to be able to be there for that moment. I was super bummed when I ended up being rushed into a c-section (cord prolapse) and she couldn't be there, and if we still lived in town, I'd totally have her there again.

For now, we live far from family, so it'll just be DH and me. My mom is planning to come visit the week after my due date (she's a teacher, it's spring break for her). Of course, if I make it that long, I'd probably use her as a babysitter rather than a labor coach.

Vicki3203 · October 2012

DH and I decided it will be just me and him. I would like my mom in there, she was there when dd was born, but if my mom is in the room, my MIL will expect to be in there and I would rather her not be. She has boundary issues as it is.

jvaeth2012 · October 2012

This has been a question that we have been pondering. With my first, many yrs ago, I had my mom, my now ex MIL, and xH. This time I'm just not sure if I want anyone other than DH. My mom would be fine either way but DH said that he thinks his mom may want to be there. This kinda took me by surprise since she doesn't do well with hospital stuff. When FIL had heart surgery, she couldn't wait to get away from hospital and when he had double knee replacement surgery she forgot him on the stationary bike.

rm2013 · October 2012

Wow, great question! I hadn't even thought of this yet. Will have to discuss with DH but I think i would like to have just DH and my dad. Having Dad sounds kinda weird but he's my only parent so that would be the most reassuring for me, and he's a doctor, and his hobby is photography too, he does weddings and the whole 9 so could get great shots LO and us. So I'd be killing like 3 birds with one stone .... Lol

MIL is thousands of miles away so I know she wouldn't come until after baby comes, if at all.

lkm2006 · October 2012

Just DH

It was so weird because we never discussed having anyone else with DS and right before they started kicking people out so I could push, MIL kept hinting she wanted to stay. Um, no thanks. We just said flat out right then that that wasn't going to happen. Luckily, that isn't something my mom would be comfortable with so she totally understands!

mommajewels87 · October 2012

With my first 3 deliveries I had Dh, my mom, my sister, my aunt, and my BFF. For whatever reason, it just ended up being me & him with #4, and while we didn't necessarily mind having other people the previous three times, we did decide we prefer just the two of us. So it was just us when LO5 was born, and it will just be us this time around.

Licia&Wayne · October 2012

Just the Hubstache.

I don't need much more of an audience.

stork24 · October 2012

As of right now it is just me and DH. We want a chance to be a family for a while before we have visitors.

DanandVan · October 2012

I had my SIL who is a nurse (she spent some time in labor/delivery) along with DH with my 1st. We are really close, and I didn't feel weird (ok, not too weird) about her seeing my hoo-haa Smile I loved that she was there to step in when DH needed a break, and she was really great at being my advocate. She offered to be there with our 2nd baby, but I said no - I figured it was something DH and I could do on our own, and I was right. We were fine.

I think if you want your sister there with you, than do it. I wouldn't do it just because she wants to experience what its like. I would do it if you feel she would be good support for you, and if you know she will be there for you when things get ugly/messy. Don't feel bad for your SIL or MIL - you are the boss!

msf11 · October 2012

DH only. This is one of those special moments that I want to be able to share just with him. That is how it was with DD and it was perfect.

wittyschaffy · October 2012

Just DH. My Mom would love to be there and would be a good help, but I absolutely do NOT want my MIL anywhere near the hospital because she'd be a royal pain in the (well you know where). I don't feel like I can have one and not the other so my mom loses.

Right now, I don't even think we're going to tell anyone we're off to the hospital because I want us to have some time to just be "us" together and not have the pressure of entertaining guests. When we're ready for visitors, we'll let people know.

KYmama9286 · October 2012

I had a ton of people in the room for my delivery of DD. My SIL is a L&D nurse so she was actually my nurse, my older sister is a certified doula so she was there acting as my doula then my best friend, 2 other SIL's and MIL all were in the room in addition to DH and my midwife (obviously). I LOVED LOVED LOVED having all the women I am close with in the room (I opened the invitation to all of my SIL's- I have 4 but one has 4 kids herself and a pilot husband so she didnt have anyone to watch her kids so she could come. I also invited my younger sister but she didnt have transportation from college which is an hour away on short notice and my mom but she didnt want to see me in pain so she kept DS). I have unmedicated births so I labor at home for the majority of my labor and I got to the hospital just under 2 hours before DD was born. All of my "support women" got there right before I started to push and by that point I was so "in it" and focused that it was nice to have some smiling faces to focus on.

I will also say that after the experience both of my SIL's and my BFF said it was by far one of the best experiences of their lives and they were so honored and happy that they were able to share that experience with us. My younger SIL is pregnant now with her 1st and she said she is SO happy she got to see such a positive birth experience b/c it takes away a lot of the fear of unknowns going into her own labor. I am opening the invitation again to whoever wants to be there. I'm not sure what my hospital's policy is about how many people can be in the room but I am thinking that there is probably a limit but we were able to bypass that since my SIL works on the L&D unit haha

With DS it was just my SIL as my nurse, my older sister as my doula and DH and my midwife. With DS I was induced and it was a high risk situation so I wasn't sure if I wanted people there since we didn't know what the outcome would be, if DS would be healthy or go to the NICU, etc. In hindsight I wouldn't have minded more people there since it ended up being a great delivery despite the complications going in.

ETA: I also want to say you could invite people and if you decide its too much or you need more privacy than they can always wait in the waiting room. No harm in having them there and I am sure they would understand if things change in the moment. I will also add that I had 1.5 hours of skin to skin time with baby immediately my labor (they cleaned her up and did her vitals and everything while she was on me). None of the people who attended my birth actually held my DD after she was born that night- besides SIL who weighed her and did the medical aspect since she was our nurse. Only DH & I held her and I appreciated how respectful everyone was that they just looked and waited to hold her until they came back the next morning to visit. So even with a group of people there it still felt very intimate for DH and I :-)

PipSqueak0313 · October 2012

with dd I had ex and my mom, with ds1 I had ex, my mom and my ex-mil. Dh's parents are both deceased and it will be dh's first child but we are planning to have dh and my mom, if possible be there and I have asked my dd if she has any desire to be there and she's still thinking on it.

candreco · October 2012

I just want DH there, same as last time. I like having space and alone time, and there are enough people just from the medical staff coming in and out that extras aren't really helpful. And really, I don't know what anyone else would have done in L&D with me last time. I had an epidural, so I mostly dozed in the bed and watched football with DH. Not very exciting! I'm hoping for a similar experience this time around.

lynn3yb00 · October 2012

For me, this depends on when I go into labor. If DH is home, then he will be calling off of work that night and most likely the next. If DH is at work, he will try to come back to be with me, but his bosses are HORRIBLE at filling shifts last minute so it would likely be at least 4 hrs before he could even leave work. I have a really good friend of mine that would go with me until DH could get to the hospital. My family wants to be there with me, but I definately don't want that.

covertxxamour · October 2012

I believe all hospitals are different in how many people are allowed in the delivery room. I was only allowed 2 max and so I had DH and my mother in there. With this pregnancy, it will probably be the same way.

sucrets4 · October 2012

DH and my mom (if she can get here) if I have a VBAC since my mom was a DR nurse. If MIL is here, I don't care if she's in the room. I would love for my SIL to be there, but they live too far away.

Just DH if it's a RCS, obviously.

mrs.birdie · October 2012

Last time, I intended for only DH to be there. My grandmother (who was an RN in L&D as well as newborn care) somehow ended up in the room. She really stressed me out saying stuff like "Oh, the baby's heart rate dropped, you need to breathe in more oxygen." It made DH so mad!

This time, it will only be us. I don't even want anyone to know until baby arrives. Last time, my FIL and both BILs were in the waiting room the whole time and FIL posted on FB as soon as DD was born. This time will be just for us.

KnithappyMama · October 2012

In my family, we pack a delivery room as tight as the hospital will let us. I think we had like 12 people in my sister's room with her first. For me personally, we had my parents as our doula's (mom had 11 kids, dad coached her through 9 of them) and I was so glad they were there. We had invited the inlaws, but after the first induction not taking (pre-eclampsia) and they had to spend the night on a cold hard floor, they never tried to come again. I've had a sister and/or brother or two present, though it was always down to three come push time.

Now we are 24 hours away from most of our family and a C-section, it will be just us. Not sure if my mom will be able to come up for the delivery or not, so we are planning without.

Sarai28 · October 2012

Probably just DH, as my parents will be watching my son. Last time it was DH and both my parents - all of our family lives in another state, so my parents came out for the induction. I loved them being there! My dad actually cut the cord! They were really respectful and sort of stayed out of the way. I also had a great epidural, so was comfortable for the actual delivery- may make a difference. It was so special to share the experience with them and having them there helped pass the time too.

ChevyFam717 · October 2012

Yeah - I think we are going to be just us... but I am worried that DH will freak out while in there and I don't have time to deal with him... I'm usually the rock in the rough situations and I'm not sure he won't get emotional and scared like he always does... but I did tell him if he does I will make him leave then never forgive him for missing his kid's birth... so I'm hoping that's not an issue LOL.

I never saw my bro/sil when they had their babies - just after... I did see my sister while she was laboring with her first - - but she had an epidural and once the pressure started getting strong we all left the room...

I just think I want to experience it with DH - we invited MIL to go to the a/s with us because it is her first grandbaby - but they don't intend to do the whole hang-out-in-the-waiting-room-for-eight-hours-until-the-baby-is-born thing... they will probably just stay home until the baby is born then head to the hospital to meet their grand-baby. My family - we might have to NOT tell until I am dialated to 8-9 LOL.

LiteraryFoodie · October 2012

Ugh no I do not want a huge party at the birth. I want a low key birth experience. Only hubby and childbirth professionals are allowed, though our birth center will let you bring as many people as you want.

Our birth team currently includes: the attending midwife at the birth center, my husband, our doula, and potentially a birth photographer. After the birth, our placenta encapsulationist will come pick up the placenta for processing.

warriormommy · October 2012

We were allowed 4 people.. I have two boys and one LO on the way. Our first born we had a full room.. my mom, dad, grandma, aunt and husband (remember I said we were allowed 4?... yeah.. one was stubborn)... The last one was just DH and I think it will be DH again this time.

mhickey426 · October 2012

I will just have my dh. I feel like it is a personal time between him and me. Before the actaul delivery if people want to visit I have no problem with that I think it will help pass the time.

Jerry77 · October 2012

Hopefully DH, my mom and a doula (have to ask about more than 2 people at my 20 week appointment on Wednesday!).

shandorfml2 · October 2012

Well, I've been thinking about it. I think some hospitals have rules on how many can be there. Definitely DH and my mama. Couldn't imagine not having my Mom with me. If I'm allowed more, I'd want my sis there and MIL if she wanted. We'll probably have everyone in and out until pushing, then just me, DH and Mom. I want my sis there, but sometimes she "takes over" and pushes others to the side.

Shoshie · October 2012

Just DH and medical staff (and possibly my masseuse who offered to help me relax during the labor). Seeing anything coming out of my vagina is not something I need the family to bear witness to.....

gfam23 · October 2012

I know exactly what you mean. Guess what? YOU are the one giving birth! If anyone feels left out or slighted, etc., that is their problem because that is completely unreasonable and ridiculous! Has SIL given birth recently? By all means, DO NOT invite ppl such as SIL or MIL (no matter how close you are to them) to be at the birth just because you are worried about their feelings, Again, it is YOUR birth experience! As far as your sister (or anyone else) goes, only invite her because you want her there, not just because you wouldn't "have a problem" with her being there. You don't want anything upsetting or distracting you (potentially), and your birth experience is something to remember with nothing but pure joy.

Again, if someone gets hurt by this, that is utterly childish and insensitive of THEM!!

Want a personalized experience?

Who will you have in the delivery room?

Re: Who will you have in the delivery room?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards