new here with a BIG problem

ermaust · October 2012

So our daughter is a little over 2 and has had major sleeping issues since she was born. I started out breastfeeding and due to our home arrangements she didn't have a crib right away. She slept in a rock in play in our room or in our bed. Once we got our house and got her a crib she would sleep in her crib every now and then, but mainly was in our bed. It seemed like nothing would work to keep her in her room night after night. She started climbing out of her crib real early so we made the mistake of putting up a toddler bed. That just made things worse. So we thought that maybe she liked our big bed and we got a double bed, new sheets, nice big pillows, etc. By this time she was 2 and still would fight to sleep in her room. I stay at home with her so by bedtime I am ready for a break and I would eventually give in and put her in our bed. To make matters worse, now she can just simply walk out of her room so she definetly wouldn't stay in her room.

I am at my wits end and I am out of ideas.

Can anyone please give me any suggestions to getting her to stay in her room? Should we put the crib back up? I am at a loss.

mrsjami · October 2012

DS did this a few weeks after he got his double bed. We just repeatedly put him back in bed without speaking to him. Took 6 or 7 times and a few tears, but we nipped it in 1 night.

ermaust · October 2012

I was just reading an article that says about doing the same thing (taking her in to bed without talking)

so this worked after one night? so night 2 he just went to sleep on his own?? Thank you!

racegrrl714 · October 2012

DD is still sleeping in our room, albeit in her own toddler bed. We are moving her to her own room and big girl bed around Xmas time. It's definitely going to be a fight, so I feel for you OP. But I don't have any good advice yet. Hopefully the PP's advice works for both of us!

TiffanyBerry · October 2012

You have taught her it's ok to get out of bed and come join you. If you want her to stay in her room, you need to put her back EVERY SINGLE TIME she comes out. Yes, even if that is 87 times the first night. (No, I'm not exaggerating. When you cave, you teach her that she just has to keep trying and she'll eventually get her way.)

You can also consider a baby gate at her door.

ermaust · October 2012

TiffanyBerry:

You have taught her it's ok to get out of bed and come join you. If you want her to stay in her room, you need to put her back EVERY SINGLE TIME she comes out. Yes, even if that is 87 times the first night. (No, I'm not exaggerating. When you cave, you teach her that she just has to keep trying and she'll eventually get her way.)

You can also consider a baby gate at her door.

never thought of this! I'll see how the first night goes then maybe we will try that

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

etude de la vie · October 2012

My DS was 15 months old when he got put into a full sized bed.

Take every toy out if the room except books and a few stuffed animals, gate the door and if she escapes put her back and say "night night"

i also use a night light (non plug in) like cloud b turtle that shows stars and turns out after 45 min.

Sometimes DS will be at my bed at 4 am wanting to come in. I pick him up say no night night time and walk out of his room. He goes back to sleep and wakes up at 6-6:30.

Novem06 · October 2012

With DS we gated the door. Each time he got out I climbed over and stuck him back in. The first week was awful but he eventually got it. You have to stay consistent and don't let her in your bed here and there...that just sends mixed messages

adkhiker · October 2012

We bought a really nice Munchkin brand gate at Target that is extra tall. DS who is a good climber can't get over it. Plus, it stays open nicely the rest of the day. We only had to close it 2 nights and then his trying to get out of his room was done. This was after MANY nights of putting him back in without talking. That did not work for us.

llc730 · October 2012

Agree with PP. Whatever method or plan that you choose you have to be consistent. Pick a night and just decide that it is the point of NO RETURN. It might be torture for the first couple of nights, but just keep reminding yourself that everytime you give in and let her sleep with you, you are making it 10 times harder on yourself in the future. In the long run you will all be happier and more well rested.

mamainseptember · October 2012

Close the door or put up a gate. We let DS get away with coming in our room at night when we first bought our new house. Until he was 2 he was in our room so he was transitioning into being in his own room and a new bed. Now, he wakes up in the middle of the night, tries to leave his room, can not and gets back in bed and goes back to sleep. We have the monitor in our room so we hear him walking around and talking to himself.

dette7820 · October 2012

TiffanyBerry:

You have taught her it's ok to get out of bed and come join you. If you want her to stay in her room, you need to put her back EVERY SINGLE TIME she comes out. Yes, even if that is 87 times the first night. (No, I'm not exaggerating. When you cave, you teach her that she just has to keep trying and she'll eventually get her way.)

You can also consider a baby gate at her door.

This exactly. Our DD has a gate on her door.. and she went through a phase of not wanting to sleep.. we'd go up, put her back in bed.. and if she got out of bed then at least the gate was closed.. she may scream.. but turn off the monitor if you have one... go up and put her back.. it will work.. promise! Jsut takes time!

Erinmmo · October 2012

Right there with you- we havent started yet but I have co slept with my 2 yr old since 7 or 8 months. I just know we are going to have to be consistent and we did get a gate too. UGH- I feel you!

Mrs.MLR04 · October 2012

ermaust:
TiffanyBerry:

You have taught her it's ok to get out of bed and come join you. If you want her to stay in her room, you need to put her back EVERY SINGLE TIME she comes out. Yes, even if that is 87 times the first night. (No, I'm not exaggerating. When you cave, you teach her that she just has to keep trying and she'll eventually get her way.)

You can also consider a baby gate at her door.

never thought of this! I'll see how the first night goes then maybe we will try that

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

We have a gate on DS's door too! It's worked like a charm.

meganandchase · October 2012

mrsjami:
DS did this a few weeks after he got his double bed. We just repeatedly put him back in bed without speaking to him. Took 6 or 7 times and a few tears, but we nipped it in 1 night.

We did this exactly. It took us a little longer, but only about three nights. No speaking, no eye contact, if possible.

Stephanie2167 · October 2012

I agree that you need to stay consistent and NOT let LO in your bed. I also recommend a baby gate. DD sleeps fine in her room at bedtime but we still put a gate at her door because we didn't want her ever to be able to roam the house while we are asleep.

Good luck!

ktrn · October 2012

TiffanyBerry:

You have taught her it's ok to get out of bed and come join you. If you want her to stay in her room, you need to put her back EVERY SINGLE TIME she comes out. Yes, even if that is 87 times the first night. (No, I'm not exaggerating. When you cave, you teach her that she just has to keep trying and she'll eventually get her way.)

You can also consider a baby gate at her door.

This, be consistent. When we transitioned DS to a toddler bed we had a gate up on his door, and we are lucky, he never cries to get out of his room. he actually closes his door when he wakes up and plays contently by himself for up to an hour. I never put DS in our bed becasue Iheard so many parents talk about the difficulty of getting them out after. I know it must be hard. Hang in there and be consistent. It should get easier.

cchill01 · October 2012

llc730:
Agree with PP. Whatever method or plan that you choose you have to be consistent. Pick a night and just decide that it is the point of NO RETURN. It might be torture for the first couple of nights, but just keep reminding yourself that everytime you give in and let her sleep with you, you are making it 10 times harder on yourself in the future. In the long run you will all be happier and more well rested.

THIS! You don't need to buy anything more. There are no magic bullets. You will definitely have a rough night or two while making this transition. It's like taking away the binky or anything else that's comforting for them. There will be screaming and crying, but have to do it sometime....or sleep with her until she goes to college.

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