- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Attachment Parenting
penguinem
member
Cry no matter what sleep solution?
penguinem
member
I am so frustrated and at a loss with how to help my sweet boy!
Every night, unless he nurses to sleep, which is rare now, going to sleep is a battle. I would love to rock or sing or soothe him to sleep, Lord knows he doesn't self soothe, but even that is like a wrestling match and bedtime is hard.
Our routine now is I get home about 6 or 630, we eat dinner, and he nurses around 730, usually kind of cluster feeding until 830 or 9. He either falls asleep or I bring him and wrestle him to sleep lol. About 70 percent of the time the second I lay him down he wakes up and we start all over. Either it takes 1 to 2 hours to get him down at which point he sleeps well,waking around 1:30, 6, and 8 for the day, or he goes down but wakes up an hour later and then I spend an hour getting him back to sleep.
This dance takes up all my DH time and is an interruption to his sleep. I'm not interested in an early bedtime because I wouldn't see him at all. I also won't do CIO, but DH is starting to push some kind of sleep training. I checked out NCSS but found it vague and full if stuff I already do.
I thought this was a phase and was fine holding him and getting him back to sleep, but it's been six weeks!
WWYD?
Every night, unless he nurses to sleep, which is rare now, going to sleep is a battle. I would love to rock or sing or soothe him to sleep, Lord knows he doesn't self soothe, but even that is like a wrestling match and bedtime is hard.
Our routine now is I get home about 6 or 630, we eat dinner, and he nurses around 730, usually kind of cluster feeding until 830 or 9. He either falls asleep or I bring him and wrestle him to sleep lol. About 70 percent of the time the second I lay him down he wakes up and we start all over. Either it takes 1 to 2 hours to get him down at which point he sleeps well,waking around 1:30, 6, and 8 for the day, or he goes down but wakes up an hour later and then I spend an hour getting him back to sleep.
This dance takes up all my DH time and is an interruption to his sleep. I'm not interested in an early bedtime because I wouldn't see him at all. I also won't do CIO, but DH is starting to push some kind of sleep training. I checked out NCSS but found it vague and full if stuff I already do.
I thought this was a phase and was fine holding him and getting him back to sleep, but it's been six weeks!
WWYD?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Cry no matter what sleep solution?
Read Kim West's "Good Night, Sleep Tight", she has some actual strategies in there.
Is your DH willing to try bedtime, even if it doesn't involve CIO? We usually try to switch who's doing bedtime if it's just not working anymore, with various results. But at the very least, the overworked parent gets at least some sort of a break. Maybe you could try nursing him somewhere other than his bedroom, and when he's sleepy-ish, having DH do the rest. hth!
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
Thanks ladies:
I will check out that book. I agree that he does just really struggle with sleep: he really would rather not, lol. I just imagine others snuggling with their babies, rocking them to sleep as they gently drift into lullaby land
. That's not us!
My husband does try to help. Typically my son FREAKS OUT if he goes in there at night. This is funny, because my husband is a stay at home dad and puts him down for three naps a day. I think that my DS has it in his mind that if I'm there, the potential for nursing exists, and then I just have to trick him into accidentally falling asleep! (I do nurse him several times, later in the night, but I try to keep at least 3 hours between since I know he doesn't need more than that, and he's just eaten for about 90 minutes). We implement a texting program though, in which I send him a message when I can't tolerate any more failed attempts and he comes up to bail me out.
I try really hard to look at this as extra time with my DS and appreciate it once he does settle down and I'm just waiting until he's fast asleep to lay him down, but I do miss my time with my husband.
My DD was a thumb sucker, and we tried everything for DS to do the same, with no results, although he does shove his hands in his mouth while he's screaming
.
Thanks for listening!
He may be overtired. What time does he wake up from his last nap? I understand that you keep him up because you wouldn't see him otherwise, but I know if I attempt to get DD down past 7:15pm she is going to fight me and wake up more than if she goes to bed at 7:15 or earlier.
Since you want to spend more time with him maybe move his last nap back by an hour or so that way he isn't exhausted by the time you attempt to put him to sleep. I hope something works soon, I know how tiring this can be.
I know you said you don't want to put him down earlier, but it really does sound like he needs an earlier bedtime. Maybe try that for 1 week and see how he does. It might be worth it for you to get some personal time back. Are you really getting good quality time with DS when he is awake? I know what you mean about not having much time b/c I get home around 5:15-5:30, eat dinner, bathe DD and then bedtime starts at 6:30 and she's down by 7. It's even harder if I get stuck at the office for an extra 1/2 hour or if she didn't take an afternoon nap and she's down at 6:30. But it's worth it to me to to spend my hour in the evening with her
FWIW, I have to nurse/rock DD to sleep and put her in her crib asleep. Some nights she does wake up and we have to start all over again, but those are the nights when she is overtired.