Community› The Bump Month Clubs› April 2012 Moms
April 2012 Moms
New Discussion

Am I wrong?

palma44palma44 member
in April 2012 Moms

We are taking DD to a specialist on Monday to get fitted for a helmet. DH takes her to all of her physical therapy appointments and her physical therapist asked DH if she could tag along on our daughters appointment to get the helmet fit because she is just curiouis to see the process, she said its not something she has to know for her job she is just personally curious.

So I don't want her to go for that reason, I feel like the helmet fitting is very personal and will most likely be hard enough with out another person there that does not need to be. DH and I had a huge argument about this but I want him to tell her no. Of course he didn't even ask me and just told her yes in the first place. Am I just wrong to not want her there? How would you feel about this?

Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Report Reply to Post

Re: Am I wrong?

  • MMC0927MMC0927 member
    I think it's VERY strange that the physical therapist even asked to "tag along"... this is something very personal. It would be a hard NO for me!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • palma44palma44 member

    imageMMC0927:
    I think it's VERY strange that the physical therapist even asked to "tag along"... this is something very personal. It would be a hard NO for me!

     

    This is what I thought, I told DH that I thought it was "pretty ballys" of her to ask and he just flat out thinks I am wrong and he is mad at me that he has to tell her no...but thank you this makes me feel like I am at least not being a total B about it.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • MMC0927MMC0927 member
    Let him be mad. This is definitely something that he should have talked to you about before telling her yes. I would even say it's against a professional code of conduct to ask to tag along. If you guys asked her to go, that's different. To put herself into your business, she's wrong!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • gekeler6gekeler6 member

    imageMMC0927:
    Let him be mad. This is definitely something that he should have talked to you about before telling her yes. I would even say it's against a professional code of conduct to ask to tag along. If you guys asked her to go, that's different. To put herself into your business, she's wrong!

    This. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • kimdw1kimdw1 member

    I guess I don't react as strongly to her asking to go along---she's probably just interested since it's tied to her profession.

    However, if you're uncomfortable, it is totally your right to say so.  You shouldn't feel bad about saying no at all. I could understand how it's a stressful situation and you don't want an "audience".  Maybe the PT just didn't think about it from that angle.

    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • FlipFlopGirl32FlipFlopGirl32
    As a mom who's daughter has a helmet and goes to pt, I personally was having a hard enough time just going to the evaluation appointment with my husband let alone someone else. I LOVE our pt but I wouldn't want her there. If she's that interested, she could go there herself. My pt went alone and did a full day of observation on her own before she was our pt. Heck, I have a hard time letting my mom come! I make sure it's just me and DD. Husband works too much to go. I completely agree that no one should go but you and Dh. My advice, even if you have to take off work, you should go. The eval and fitting appointments were the most important.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • palma44palma44 member

    imageFlipFlopGirl32:
    As a mom who's daughter has a helmet and goes to pt, I personally was having a hard enough time just going to the evaluation appointment with my husband let alone someone else. I LOVE our pt but I wouldn't want her there. If she's that interested, she could go there herself. My pt went alone and did a full day of observation on her own before she was our pt. Heck, I have a hard time letting my mom come! I make sure it's just me and DD. Husband works too much to go. I completely agree that no one should go but you and Dh. My advice, even if you have to take off work, you should go. The eval and fitting appointments were the most important.

     

    I could not even have my mom there either...so another doctor is just out of the question for me. I think what you said about our PT going herself for a day of observarion seems more appropriate. I am taking work off to go, I am sick of missing appointments so I am just taking a half day for this one.

     

    Thank you everyone, I feel like I am at least not being crazy about this.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • jessandandy09jessandandy09 member

    It probably wouldnt bother me.  We are going to get measured by the orthotics clinic today.  I have a curiosity for all things medical, like I was thrilled to get to watch my sisters c-section.  So to me it would be normal for someone in that profession who has worked with my child on PT to be curious and want to know what corrective steps etc... are going to be taken. 

    that said I dont think its wrong at all for you to want to say no.  For some people this sort of process is very private/intimate and it can feel invading to have others there.  Your baby = your choice.  You stick to your guns and do things the way that feels best for you.

    Aug 15 April Siggy challenge: Baby Shower fails:


    image

    BabyFetus Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Report Reply
  • schmoodschmood member
    I'm an orthotist so I'm all for the PTs to be present for evaluations because then we can work together so that I can design a brace that goes along with the goals of the PT. Since the PT likely works with babies who have torticollis and plagiocephaly, I see why she's interested in seeing the process of helmet making. It may help her understand her roll as the PT better and/or educate her better on how to treat the babies so that maybe they don't end up needing the helmets. And then especially since this PT has been working with your child. I don't think it's odd that she asked. That said, you do have every right to tell her no. However, consider this - the PT could possibly be beneficial at the helmet appt as she might come up with questions that you may not think of - Since it sounds like you are alreay a bit overwhelmed with the the idea of a helmet. And one final word of reassurance - I know the concept of the helmet may be daunting, but we have many parents that come back to the first check-up and say 'This isn't really as bad as I thought it would be.' The babies generally adapt to the helmet pretty easily. Good luck!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • MalaJMalaJ member

    I feel like if it bother's you you have every right to say no.  DH should have checked with you first.

     

    Personally, I would have no problem with it. I know PTs really care about their patients and she probably wants to be involved in order to help your LO. 

     

    I say you compromise by giving the therapist the contact information for the office/person who is making the helmet. Tell her that you don't feel comfortable having anyone but you and DH there, but if she is really interested in the process then she should call them and see if they can let her observe another patient or at least walk her through the process.

     

    ETA: Also, I feel like since your DH takes DD to her apts, you don't have any relationship with the therapist.  He does, and therefore sees it as NBD.  To you she is a stranger. Maybe if you went to some of the PT apts you would feel more comfortable about her observing the fitting. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"