random butch/femme lol

mypalbabs · October 2012

Our first "fluff mail" (cloth diapers) arrived last night. I was showing my partner (who is the one carrying the baby) everything I had ordered. She was a little dumbfounded at all of it because she's only ever used disposable diapers.

So she said, "You're going to have to teach me how to use all of this stuff, because I don't want to be 'that dad' who doesn't know how to diaper their own baby."

Okay, maybe this is only funny in my head.

Are there other families on here where the "butch parent" is the one carrying/carried the baby?

madisonpeas · October 2012

No, it's funny outside your head too

The more feminine partner (DW) carried our little guy....I do remember my boss saying something about bringing me a cigar at the hospital though....so definitely some good natured butch/femme joking.

2moms2b · October 2012

That gave me a little chuckle!

M is much more butch than I am in appearance but personality wise we are very much backwards. I am carrying the boys.

ball.and.chain · October 2012

Ha, not here. Hell would freeze over before my butch wife got anywhere near sperm.

butterflygrooves · October 2012

ball.and.chain:
Ha, not here. Hell would freeze over before my butch wife got anywhere near sperm.

This exactly.

mmy101 · October 2012

Even though we are not TTC just yet, H has no interest in carrying whatsoever (she is the "butch"). We have had a lot of pregnant friends and she got grossed out in a lot of the stages of pregnancy. Last year when one of our good friends gave birth, and she told H when she lost her plug... I had to explain to H what that was and she about lost her lunch.

hlke · October 2012

C and I don't have a real butch/femme dynamic, but she is the less feminine one and the one who was originally less keen on pregnancy and hopefully she will carry first.

ball.and.chain - let's just say the idea of C ever coming into contact with sperm was not really on her radar until we started TTC.

clairmeij · October 2012

mmy101:
Even though we are not TTC just yet, H has no interest in carrying whatsoever (she is the "butch"). We have had a lot of pregnant friends and she got grossed out in a lot of the stages of pregnancy. Last year when one of our good friends gave birth, and she told H when she lost her plug... I had to explain to H what that was and she about lost her lunch.

I'm so glad I'm not alone! My partner has requested that I never use the words 'cervical mucous' around her, a shame, because I quite liked announcing the progress. She also thinks that pregnancy and birth is gross. She faints at the sight of blood, so her mother has agreed (ages ago) that she'd be our second birth partner in case V faints.

clairmeij · October 2012

And yes - I thought that was very funny

2moms2twins · October 2012

Definite BUTCH FEMME dynamic here and I am pretty butch

i used to be so opposed to anything that feminized me .. would have DW go out and buy my tampons etc... but as I get older and now that DW gave me two amazing daughters I am kinds willing to take one for the team ( CHEAPER than givuing her my eggs and doing that route) I am all medical so I love the idea of growing a human but have an aversion to the BIRTHING part ... I would elect a C-section ... can we schedule it now... of course I dont go to the Gyno so I have a lot of getting over thing if we ( I ) do decide to carry Tres baby but i have two amazing beautiful wonderful HILARIOUS almost 15months olds..who just fill me with such love and joy and I still wake up often and say to M can you believe this.... I do year to have a child biologically tied to me some people think its selfish - and soem people think its weird for me to want to carry as I am very butch on the spectrum - my mom/family being one which is ironic ...I worked so hard to educate her/the and finally get her to realize how different i was and how i was more like the son she never had and now it is kinda bitting me in the but... because they think its weird which is amazing because they finally see me but kinda back fired- I have female parts I dont HATE them or despise them I would prefer it to be different but this is what I got so I deal with it ..

Anyhow- I also am afraid of being 55 or 60 and (like M's Aunt who never had a child and ) realizing i want one ( yes, I have two tho) Does that make sense...I feel bad sometimes.. and M does not really get it but I think its because she Had the girls ... Lastly, My family is a dying legacy .. My Grandmother a holocaust survivor is getting older and not doing 100% my dad and uncle all had daughters so I feel this need to try to have a child 1 ) becuase i would like a biological child and 2) hope to cary on my last name 3) a boy would be awesome but that is a diff topic.

ok well i blabbed all over the place

mmy101 · October 2012

2moms2twins:
..
ok well i blabbed all over the place

I don't think you blabbed... lol. H will never carry, but we have toyed with the idea of her eggs/my uterus etc. but the expense always ends those conversations.

hlke · October 2012

Jay - C also started off really not excited about the birthing part. She used to have anxiety dreams growing up where she would be pregnant and wake up in a panic. In the end I think her desire for bio children helped her to overcome it, but it's not like she'll ever be a mom who loves being pregnant and she still has a lot of anxiety over giving birth. I try to reassure her that her body was made for this, but we'll definitely have plenty of medical options if it doesn't work out!

ball.and.chain · October 2012

hlke:

ball.and.chain - let's just say the idea of C ever coming into contact with sperm was not really on her radar until we started TTC.

We can't do at-home insems because she is afraid she would have to touch it. Even with gloves. (That's not the primary reason we didn't do at-home insems, but it would have been a pretty big road block!)

Fabi&Nita · October 2012

It's pretty funny!

My wife carried our 1st and you can say she's "butch" but only in appearance. She always wanted to carry 1st and i was totally ok with it Now im the one carrying our 2nd

Kershnic · October 2012

Funny story mypalbabs!

And this whole conversation is funny to me, if only because we are so opposite....we had to have the debate of who gets to birth a baby first.

But I will add, I'm terrified of the actual giving birth part even though I've wanted to be pregnant and give birth to a baby since I found out where babies come from. Definitely not something butch mommies have a monopoly on.

Also, hlke, love the new user pic!

Twinkler2011 · October 2012

My partner and I do not have the traditional butch/femme dynamic. Most the time when people meet us they have no idea we are a couple. DP has always said she wanted to carry one, just one.

On a funny note, she watched an at home birth on YouTube a couple weeks ago. This was her first time ever actually seeing a birth & let me tell you it was graphic. I think she now has some anxiety about the birthing process.

maryoosa · October 2012

I'd pay my butch money to carry. He won't do it because he thinks it'd screw with his gender too much. Now we're adopting since my lady parts wouldn't work at all.

But that is funny.

jeymarley · October 2012

you are not alone i am the "butch" one that is carrying the baby and although i must admit the questions and looks i got/still get are a bit awkward at times i knew it had to be done if we wanted a baby

https://cantexplainjey.tumblr.com/post/32452174717/this-one-is-her-fav-i-hate-my-tie-is-crooked

keviamatthews · October 2012

My wife is carrying our first child & she is the dom. She is already telling me what she is NOT going to do when the baby arrives. I have to laugh at that one. She's funny & definately in for a BIG surprise.

mypalbabs · October 2012

jeymarley:
you are not alone i am the "butch" one that is carrying the baby and although i must admit the questions and looks i got/still get are a bit awkward at times i knew it had to be done if we wanted a baby
https://cantexplainjey.tumblr.com/post/32452174717/this-one-is-her-fav-i-hate-my-tie-is-crooked

That photo is incredible - thank you for sharing it.

jeymarley · October 2012

you're welcome

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