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October 2011 Moms
missyishere
member
Advice for your 10-years-ago self
missyishere
member
Now that I'm about to enter a new decade- hello 30's!! I have had so many of my friends act like it's the end of the world when they turn 30, and I absolutely don't see it that way. I've had a rollercoaster ride in my 20's, and I'm ready for a new decade of fun.
When I was 19 approaching 20, I was dating a frucking idiot. It took me a while to figure it out, and I unfortunately paid many prices for it- financially, physically, emotionally... I can't say I have no regrets, but it did force me to move home with my mom. In hindsight, I got to spend extra time with my mom I now get to cherish, and I ended up meeting my now DH. I would tell my tiny-waisted, naive, pot smoking self that it's okay to stand up for yourself, because it will make life so much more enjoyable when you don't allow people to bring you down. Oh, and put down that bong- it's bad for your lungs.
Parenting Floozie Brigades official motto: We welcome to you the board with open legs. Also, open beers. ~@cinemagoddess
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Re: Advice for your 10-years-ago self
AMEN!!! I'm working my tail off to be fit again. When I was 20, I was 130 lbs at 5'8" and did no sort of exercise or followed any good eating habits. It's not nice of my body to turn on me like this. It really needs to remember the days of an amazing metabolism.
I would tell myself how important the relationship with my best friend of then 18 years was and if I didn't learn how to be a friend (the give and take) I would lose that friendship...which I did...and regret every day. I was so selfish and didn't understand how to be a good friend, listener & confidant, which I now believe I am. But it's too late for that friendship, no matter what I do.
Edited for spelling
I was dating a complete ass wipe and stayed that way for a few years, I may have had some legal trouble over fighting someone elses battle,
I would tell myself to have more respect , to break up with dumb-ass and never look back, To let people fight there own damn fights because true friends wouldn't involve you into their crap, and to enjoy every "free" moment.
Ugh...at the time it felt like NBD, we must be just "growing apart". For the past 8 or so years I have made up every excuse in the world to why we aren't friends, normally blaming her. I have just come to terms that it was all me.
I'm sorry you went through this too, it stinks for sure. As my wise mama told me it's just part of growing up and learning about life.
To the ladies that lost friendships, there is still hope!
My friend and I had been friends since sixth grade. After she came back from college, we were both dating guys. I broke up with the guy (I had lost my virginity to him) and she was having problems with her boyfriend. A the time, I was annoyed that she was being selfish about our friendship, always taking from the friendship but never giving towards the friendship. It was a one way street friendship. Some guy kissed her, I told her boyfriend through email, she had his password and read every email between him and I. We stopped being friends, she started hooking up with the guy I lost my virginity too, and we went our separate ways. Feeling were hurt on both sides, and neither one of us wanted anything to do with each other. Fast forward to two years later, I was starting to feel guilty about the way I did things.....but left it alone thinking she never wanted to hear from me again. My birthday approached and I got a email from her just saying "I know we have had our differences, but I hope you have a wonderful birthday. I think about you often. Enjoy your special day. You do not have to email me back, I will understand."
I emailed her back, apologizing for all of my wrongdoings. She emailed after saying she wrote that email over and over for a few days but was afraid to send it, and didn't expect that I was going to write her back. She apologized for everything she did. We talked for a few days and after our two years apart, decided to meet up and reconnect. That was five years ago. We now live six miles apart, I was in her wedding, we hang out regularly, and our kids are fours months apart so they play together....we are about to sign the kids up for swimming lessons together....
so don't give up. You never know, that friend could be feeling bad about things they did in the friendship....but doesn't know how to approach it, or may think you want nothing to do with them.
I would tell myself to not help my brother out financially. Because of that I am carrying $6,000 of his debt under my name and haven't been paid much in 10 years. I have gotten about $400 of that back. It is hurting my family financially now and I hate my brother for that. I should have just let him sink.
Wow! It's great family helping family, but that is terrible he hasn't taken care of his responsibility to pay you back. Putting a huge burden on you and your family is terrible. I hope he will someday see the error in his ways someday and repays you. My brother-in-law helped by husband out at one time in order for him to get a divorce from the first wife. For that, I am extremely grateful. My husband was very thankful and repayed him.
I feel the same way about pharmacy school.
I would tell myself to put aside some money instead of spending what I had left after bills so that I would have had some money to put towards my student loans and not needed so many to get through school. I spent way too much of my money on clothes and eating out and didn't make any effort to save anything. If we wanted to do something and didn't have the funds at that moment we would just charge it with the plans to pay it off in the future. However, we would spend the money on something else instead of paying off the card.
OP, is your b-day soon?
I also have some friendship regret that I wish I didn't. I should have not let my feelings get hurt and tried harder to keep up communication.
The 25th of this month. I had my anniversary, Nora's birthday, and my birthday in the same month. Needless to say, it's a pricy month for us. We're tailgating at the Iowa v. Penn State game this weekend. I haven't tailgated since I was 21. This could get interesting.
Stop going to school. You're not ready. I mean come on, you're failing everything and partying every night, right? Then just party and get it out of your system and stop feeling like a failure for not being YET being the person you thought you would be. You'll get there, and no one cares about when except for you. Get the eff out of Sac and effing TRAVEL.
Also, don't sleep with Adrian again in four months. It's not worth it. He sucks, remember?
Treasure every second you have with Dana. She's your best friend, and in less than a year, she's going to move and you're only going to see her five times in the next ten years. No other woman for at least the next ten will get you like she does. And when she moves, call her more.
Don't bother with Berkeley. It will just make you feel like a lonely stupid person who is quickly going insane. Follow your heart instead of what you think will impress imaginary people.
10 years ago, I was still with DH and we were doing amazing things-traveling, enjoying life, having a great time. However, if we went back 20 years I would say spend more time with my 'Uncle', my Uncle's partner. He was the only one who 'got' me and my teenage angst. I loved him so much, and I wish I could have known him as an adult. He died in '95 of AIDS. Spend more time with my Grandmother, she died of liver failure.
I'm hesitant to say I should have left the azzhole that I was with at the time. He was a piece of sh!t, BUT I wouldn't have known and appreciated the wonderful husband I have today if I hadn't have gone through that horrible dark time.
Spend more time with my friend. I've known her all of my life, and we used to be so close. 10 years ago I started spending less time with her since I was in a relationship and she had 4 kids. Now the kids are older, and we don't have much in common. We are both busy with other things. I hope that we can grow closer again. Those friendships are precious and don't come along very often in life.
Leave that muthertrucker b/c he's going to do an emotional number on you !!!!!
Take out some student loans and cut back your work hours. Trying to pay for school w/o loans will cause your grades to slip.
Live at school for at least a semester. You need to get out of your sheltered life and live a little !
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison