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BM wants to meet family

christielovesnathanchristielovesnathan
in Adoption
the BM we are matched with wants to meet our family. I don't want to tell her no because I want her to place with us and feel comfortable, but I don't want her to meet our family because a lot of them are either pushy about information or not supportive. I just don't know how to move forward with this.
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Re: BM wants to meet family

  • MrsMcC.10409MrsMcC.10409 member
    Wow. Tough situation. I'm sorry you're between a rock and a hard place! What about just a couple members of the family? Do either of you have a parent and/or a sibling that you think would be able to be appropriate ambassadors for your extended family?

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  • Foster1MomFoster1Mom
    How much of the family does she want to meet? Can you just pick a few who you know are sane and supportive ?
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  • Allie-JoAllie-Jo member
    Ditto PP.  It's kinda unlikely you would be able to get your whole family together for a meet and greet anyways, and maybe BM just wants to wrap her head around what her baby will be exposed to.  Maybe a sister or cousin or parent, someone you know will be around you and your LO a lot through the years?  Hopefully that will satisfy her, otherwise explain to her the situation and that it will just be stressful for both you and her.
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  • IRRIRR member
    I do find that to be a positive sign.  Like PP's said perhaps just a couple of folks will be enough to satisfy her curiosity.  GL.
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  • christielovesnathanchristielovesnathan
    Well she said she would like to meet as much of our family as the baby will be around, which I understand, but I don't really want her to change her mind when she meets some of my various aunts and uncles that may offend her. We've agreed she can meet our parents, but any more than that I'm scared she'll get offended by SOMEBODY,
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  • DaisyZHDaisyZH member
    Ugh, that is a tough one.  I totally understand why she wants to meet them, but I wouldn't want to offend her either.  Your parents are a good place to start, hopefully that will be enough.


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  • greenteabeegreenteabee member
    I would say let her know anything she wants to know, good or bad, just so long as it's not way too personal. I'd just let your family know how important it is that they are respectful to her, and to keep their opinions to themselves.
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