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Natural Birth
I need some encouragement!
DH is extremely supportive of my decision to give birth without an epidural. I have a pathological fear of needles and I nearly threw up just at the sight of the epidural needle and catheter during our birthing class. I really want to do it naturally but my mom is convinced that I'm going to cave and take the epidural. I just need an assurance that I can do this!
P.S. If anyone has any tips or tricks to help psych myself out of the pain of labor, I'll take any suggestions!
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Re: I need some encouragement!
If you put your mind to it, you can do it !
Do your homework on things that will help you get through the labor without resorting to pain meds and keep telling yourself that you absolutely can do it and will do it, even if just to prove your mom wrong
Keep in mind that labor does not last forever, every contraction brings you closer to meeting your baby. GL !
P.S. Try not to think about it as pain, that gives it extra negative image. It is pressure that it required to bring your baby out. Meditate !
Knowledge and good support will help you do this and you CAN do this!
Have you taken a natural birth class that has a technique associated with it? Should be at least 5+ weeks long and really prepare you with ways to relax and open and face natural birth. It's one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself if you have any birth fears. (Birthing from Within, Hypnobirth/babies, Bradley, etc.)
Second read a lot - Ina May's books, Birthing from Within, Natural Birth the Bradley Way, Positive Birth Stories, etc.
Last stand up for yourself - if your mom (or someone else you love) says that again, just say, "Mom, I appreciate your concern, but please try not to talk negatively about my desire to go without meds because it causes me to have fears and doubts." I bet she stops altogether b/c most moms just want to be supportive (plus I'm guessing she had epidurals or pain meds or natural birth without support so she doesn't know that it's not scary if you are supported and have a technique.
...baby #3 is here...
First off, I also went natural initially out of fear of epidurals. I faint at blood draws and vaccinations, and new that I would not progress with those interventions.
The most useful thing for me was knowledge. I read everything I could. Ina May's Guide was the perfect reading in my third trimester. It was just so reassuring to read all of the positive birth stories in the first half. And to read about all the different ways labor progresses for different women, what what worked for them.
Knowledge about the true risks of interventions also helped, as well as how the body naturally progresses through labor, and what effect interventions can have on the body's natural responses.
I would definitely make it clear that hospital staff should not ask if you would like pain relief. I was at free standing birth center, so it was never an option for me, but there was definitely a time during transition when I was in the tub and didn't think I could take anymore, where I said to my Husband that I understand why women get epidurals. But, then that passed.
I didn't do any of the "methods." I went to my birth center's childbirth class, which taught basic pain relief methods--counter pressure, massage, acupressure points, as well as laboring positions. I didn't use much besides the positions.
You can do it without an epidural. Make sure you try different positions. Stay at home as long as you can. Buy a cheap exercise ball to labor on at home. It's awesome for resting your arms on to labor on your hands & knees. And don't doubt yourself or your strength.
I agree, you absolutely CAN do it! I agree with the PP who suggested you take a class/course with a particular birthing technique. Around 20-25 weeks I lost my resolve for natural birth and thought I'd never make it. Then when I started my Hypnobabies training at 30 weeks all the positive daily affirmation tracks and relaxation/preparation tracks really got me refocused and I started feeling really calm, confident and eager for birth. It was probably the only reason I actually stuck to my guns.
I was so surprised how once birth was imminent, I felt really prepared and ready to take on natural birth. It never crossed my mind to ask for any needles. I LOVED that I was not tethered to anything at the hospital before, during or after birthing. I felt like I was a visitor there and not really a patient. It was a far superior experience to the epidural I had my 1st time around and I had a great epidural experience.
I am a wuss. I was shocked I went natural and remained very comfortable for about 99% of the process. My mom was seriously impressed too. I was that child that went to every doctor appointment wailing and whimpering and nearly fainting at every sight of a needle (my poor mom had to trick me into doctors appointments). Of course I grew out of a lot of that, but I've always had a low pain tolerance and was not your typical candidate for willingly choosing med free childbirth. If I can do it, anyone can.
This - I stopped discussing it with my family because they were so unsupportive. You do not need any negative emotions/energy during this time and you do not owe it to anyone to discuss your birthing choices with them .
It's not "bad" pain. Don't let it make you afraid.
Get through one contraction at a time. Don't think about the next one. Just go one step at a time. Then keep telling yourself, "I can do one more of those."
If you do wind up choosing the epidural, you probably won't see any of the "instruments" including the needle. They keep all that stuff behind you, and you have to stay as still as possible, so you can't cheat and turn around too look at it. You're so focused on laboring that you're not paying attention to the anesthesiologist's gear anyway.
Either way, you'll be fine. If you go natural, awesome. If you don't, feel good that you did the best you could and know that it's just pain reliever. Don't beat yourself up over it. Whether you had pain meds or not sinks into insignificance once you have the actual baby!
That being said, know that you can ABSOLUTELY do it. Just take it one step at a time and keep telling yourself it's not bad pain.
So, to be fair, I had stalled labor and ended up needing an epi after four hours in transition (I took epi over risking c-section...lame choice to have to make!). BUT--I made it without for the entire "normal" part of labor, and it was mostly just a) Being committed to going pain-med-free--not just "I'll try" but going in 100% b) I didn't use a specific breathing or management technique, but I focused and tried to release tension as best I could through each contraction--and took each contraction one at a time. You don't have to make it "through labor" just through "this contraction!" c) Only had positive and supportive people with me. DH was thoroughly committed to med-free, too. Honestly--I don't know if you were planning on having mom there or not, but if she's not supportive, don't let her be there.
I also found distinguishing between pain and suffering really helpful. Labor hurts. But pain isn't necessarily bad--in this case, it's productive. You don't have to suffer because you're in pain, and relaxation and a positive attitude really help with that.
You CAN do it!
From now on, only read positive natural birth stories. It's super empowering!! Your body was made to do this! Tell your mom that you need her to keep her opinions to herself.
As for the pain, I'm only of those moms who can say it wasn't that painful. Sure, I had my eyes closed for the last 3 hours and I had to concentrate on the contractions. But that didn't make them painful. I didn't feel him crowning. I remember the midwife saying, "Don't stop pushing. I know it's burning" and I replied, "It's not burning." I also remember being hyper focused on the task at hand. Like my doula mentioned that he had a lot of hair and I was like, ok, moving on. My doula moved my hand down there so I could feel it, but I had no idea what I was feeling and I didn't want to shift my concentration to find out. It all happened really quickly and it's a little surreal out of body feeling to it. It's also weird to have only auditory memories since my eyes were closed.
(I also don't take Novocaine for fillings. I hate that numbing feeling for hours afterwards!)
If your mom is less than 100% faithful in your ability to do this, please to not invite her into the labor/delivery room.
I found yoga breathing to be most helpful for me. I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth (in an "O" shape) during contractions and tried to count my breaths so that they were even (ex.: 4 in, 4 out). Then between contractions I did something called alternate nostril breathing. It helped keep my mind busy and in the moment instead of fearfully anticipating the next contraction.