- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
November 2011 Moms
LittleMommaBlueHen
member
What do you wish you had known back then?
LittleMommaBlueHen
member
I am leading a childbirth discussion group for a group of friends to put some of my doula training to use while I continue to work towards certification. I thought I might ask you lovely ladies for some insight. What do you wish you had known about labor and birth before you experienced it with LO? Thanks!
BFP #1 10/13/09 EDD 06/20/10 DS Born on 06/26/10
BFP #2 03/08/11 EDD 11/16/11 DD Born on 11/04/11
BFP #3 08/29/12 EDD 05/06/13 M/C on 08/30/12
BFP #4 11/01/12 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C on 12/28/12
BFP #5 04/30/13 EDD 01/03/14 DS Born on 01/02/14
BFP #6 01/11/15 EDD 09/22/15 M/C 03/09/15
BFP #2 03/08/11 EDD 11/16/11 DD Born on 11/04/11
BFP #3 08/29/12 EDD 05/06/13 M/C on 08/30/12
BFP #4 11/01/12 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C on 12/28/12
BFP #5 04/30/13 EDD 01/03/14 DS Born on 01/02/14
BFP #6 01/11/15 EDD 09/22/15 M/C 03/09/15
This discussion has been closed.
Re: What do you wish you had known back then?
I wish I would have known pushing isnt always fast. I don't know what world I lived in thinking it was 2 or 3 pushes and the baby is out. I guess that's what you always see on tv! Anyways, I pushed for an hour and a half and I wasn't expecting that.
This isn't really a "wish I had known" thing but rather the exercise I enjoyed the most during my childbirth class.
We had a bunch (I think 12?) notecards and on each side there was a possibility (like: hospital birth/home or birthing center birth; vaginal birth/c-section birth; epidural/non-medicated; slow labor/fast labor; water breaks on its own/water is broken for you; induced/not induced; etc.......I can't remember them all. Oh! And I think there was a card that said something like "healthy baby" and it was on both sides so you couldn't NOT have that in this exercise
). The instructor said to flip them all so your preferred birth was up. Then we were asked to flip over 3 cards to the alternate scenario. Then 3 more. Basically, we were supposed to explore how sometimes we don't get our ideal birth and this sort of helped prioritize what was most important to us (and of course, sometimes you don't even get that).
I don't know if I'm quite explaining it right but I thought it was a good exercise at the time. I know that some women get so wrapped up in what they want their birth experience to be that they don't even think about what might not happen on an ideal day. And this sort of helps see "Well I want X Y and Z but if I don't get X, that's not a big deal, but I hope I still get Z."
~Working Mom~Breastfeeding Mom~Cloth Diapering Mom~BLW Mom~
Blog - No Longer on the DL ~ The Man Cave
Shawn and Larissa
LO #1 - Took 2 years and 2 IVFs ~ DX - severe MFI mild PCOS homozygous MTHFR (a1298c)
LO #2 - TTC 7 months, surprise spontaneous BFP!
I hear you on that one! Both of my kids were OP. I also had wished I knew how to get them to turn with more than one position.
BFP #2 03/08/11 EDD 11/16/11 DD Born on 11/04/11
BFP #3 08/29/12 EDD 05/06/13 M/C on 08/30/12
BFP #4 11/01/12 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C on 12/28/12
BFP #5 04/30/13 EDD 01/03/14 DS Born on 01/02/14
BFP #6 01/11/15 EDD 09/22/15 M/C 03/09/15
I've never heard of water breaking being a cause for being made to stay in bed, but I guess it depends on what your baby is up to once your water breaks too. My water never broke with my kids until they broke it for me so this is something for me to look in to with the hospitals in my area once I start attending births.
BFP #2 03/08/11 EDD 11/16/11 DD Born on 11/04/11
BFP #3 08/29/12 EDD 05/06/13 M/C on 08/30/12
BFP #4 11/01/12 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C on 12/28/12
BFP #5 04/30/13 EDD 01/03/14 DS Born on 01/02/14
BFP #6 01/11/15 EDD 09/22/15 M/C 03/09/15
To throw your birth plan out the window. You can plan almost anything in life, but not childbirth! The most important thing is the baby's health.
There is also no shame in getting an epidural. I beat myself up for giving in for about 5 minutes before I realized it was nice to be more comfortable, at least for my first labor experience. I'll try no epi for my next child.
One thing that I DID know that has helped friends of mine that had children after I did, was that the pain before pushing (laboring down) was worse than the pushing. Also, not giving it your all the first push and saving your energy for the second and third pushes. (My nurse had me push three times in a row)
The emotional roller coaster the first week post birth. I learned about the baby blues and our birth class instructor mentioned getting teary on the third day, but it was way more intense than I was prepared for. I guess because I am a pretty even keeled person I figured I would be ok, but looking back I was pretty crazy that first week. I was constantly in tears over little things and I hated having LO away from me. I had to go to Target a few days post birth and bawled the entire way there to the point I almost turned around. The first week was worse than the pregnancy and labor combined.
Also I wish I had been more prepared to breastfeed. I did some reading on it, but thought I would figure it out before I left the hospital. That did not happen and I am sure added to my craziness the first week. I tell all my pregnant friends, that wish to breastfeed, to learn everything they can prior to the baby being here. Also have the baby daddy read up on it to help with position and latching.
My first didn't turn
He was born OP. My second I was determined to not repeat so I saw a chiropractor most of my third trimester
~Working Mom~Breastfeeding Mom~Cloth Diapering Mom~BLW Mom~
Blog - No Longer on the DL ~ The Man Cave
Shawn and Larissa
LO #1 - Took 2 years and 2 IVFs ~ DX - severe MFI mild PCOS homozygous MTHFR (a1298c)
LO #2 - TTC 7 months, surprise spontaneous BFP!
For some reason I was really really paranoid about tearing. Like irrationally so. I had a pretty significant tear because DD was born in a compound presentation (with her hand on TOP of her head, so her elbow cut me up deep inside - almost through to my rectum). I was able to go totally med free but that meant I felt most of the suturing going on for about 50 min after she was born. Took a while for them to put me back together.
I wish I had known that it would heal pretty fast and I should not have spent so long obsessing about it. Although it did hurt to poop for about 5 months.
I felt pretty prepared for everything except the emotional turmoil of the first two weeks. I had a hard time starting out with BFing (flat nipples, I was bleeding by the time I left the hospital but we found a good LC and are still BFing today). So I was super sore, and the hormone crash is nuts, and you're STARVING and THIRSTY and cannot stop crying. It was like a switch flipped at two weeks and I felt better, but I wish someone had told me that the first two weeks might be the worst two weeks of your life. They were for me, but I got through it. And I'll probably try to do it again. Crazy!
I never witnessed mine with DS ( I guess I lost it little by little) but with DD it came out all at once and I was horrified. I'll be sure to mention it to my discussion group!
BFP #2 03/08/11 EDD 11/16/11 DD Born on 11/04/11
BFP #3 08/29/12 EDD 05/06/13 M/C on 08/30/12
BFP #4 11/01/12 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C on 12/28/12
BFP #5 04/30/13 EDD 01/03/14 DS Born on 01/02/14
BFP #6 01/11/15 EDD 09/22/15 M/C 03/09/15
I agree about the emotional rollercoaster. I knew about baby blues, but man, I felt crazy the first few weeks and burst into tears almost everyday. It didn't help that we had BFing problems either, but I even cried at the hospital when the nurse gave DS a paci.
I asked the nurse because I reallllly wanted to move around for the pain, liked I learned in the birthing class I paid for. Anyways, she said that there is an increased risk of infection since the membranes are ruptured. Basically its easier to keep a person in a "clean" or "sterilized" room.
This. Seriously. I mean I guess it's a good thing because I thought I had to pee so this was the only indication I had that my water actually broke (in the toilet- good timing). But I lost the whole thing at one time. It was at least a foot long. I was like "umm honey...don't come in here but I think it's time"... (DH) "why? we've gone to the hospital a few times and nothing?" (me) slams bathroom door- "don't come in here! We're leaving"
that if you have to have a c section, it will be ok. BUT, prepare yourself mentally for that option.
I was super pro natural birth and had only considered that. I fought hard against a c section, but when it happened, I had several months of coming to terms with it emotionally.
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
BFP #2 03/08/11 EDD 11/16/11 DD Born on 11/04/11
BFP #3 08/29/12 EDD 05/06/13 M/C on 08/30/12
BFP #4 11/01/12 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C on 12/28/12
BFP #5 04/30/13 EDD 01/03/14 DS Born on 01/02/14
BFP #6 01/11/15 EDD 09/22/15 M/C 03/09/15
Not so much about labor and delivery but I wish I had more information about nursing immediately after delivery. I had read my books and talked to my sister and mom about breastfeeding, but I wish someone had given me more empowered to take nursing the second I got my baby back from the nurses cleaning her up to establish it.
As far as actual birth...I would encourage mothers to have the baby put on their bellies after they come out. You get over the goop everywhere and the nurses clean your baby off really fast so there really isn't much to see. It's an experience you can get back when it's all over and bring the first to hold them and look into their eyes is priceless.
I also was not allowed to leave my bed once I got to the hospital because my water had broke at home. AND don't let anyone tell you your first baby is gonna take hours and hours to labor through. Mine was 7 hours from start to finish and I was shocked it happened so fast!
I wish I had learned about emergency c/s. I never thought I would need a c/s so I just kinda skipped over those parts of the books, and it was the last part of the childbirth class. I had lost all interest and was too tired to pay attention. When the doctor first brought up the possibility of a c/s the first thing I thought was about how I wasn't prepared for that, I didn't know anything about it.
That is my one piece of advice to all preggers women I know, even if you are planning a beautiful med-free birth, do your reading and learn about all possiblities!!
BFP #2 March 2011, Baby Girl born November 2011!!!