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"Real" siblings on the adult side of a BF...

Ginlyn0Ginlyn0 member
in Blended Families

So I know it's been months since I posted about my brother's sister on his BM's side we'll call her "C" and the issue with my nephew but some might remember me mentioning her cancer. Anyway, C is terminal has been for sometime and has been fighting like crazy. She's had both breasts removed, all female parts removed, ect. but it keeps spreading.

My middle sister  "S" is the only one that's not my dad's, she's my mom's child but she is step to my other siblings and I'm the half sister to all my siblings. And my oldest sister has an adopted sister on her BM's side and a stepbrother and my brother has another half sister and half brother on his BM's side. So we are a blended mess :)

So my sister "S" posted a FB status today about how yesterday on boss's day her boss was having her breasts removed (due to cancer) and that her brother's "real" sister had just been in the hospital again with her long cancer battle (it's now spread to her bones) and to please keep them in your thoughts, ect. As soon as I saw the post, I was thinking about posting how I hate the term "real" and I wanted to say C wasn't his "real" sister either technically just as I am not either just because S has no blood relation to him doesn't mean she isn't his "real" sister because she has been his big sister since he was 10 months old. I decided not to post because I didn't want to "negate" C by saying she wasn't real either just like none of us are whole siblings. See none of us use those terms normally but I know my sister was just trying to post in a way that other people could understand how our brother had a sister that wasn't our sister. Anyway, my brother responded to the post perfectly saying "You are my real sister too. But yes, please pray for both ladies."

 

DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

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Re: "Real" siblings on the adult side of a BF...

  • cole2144cole2144 member
    I have a brother, step-brother, half-sister, and half-brother but they are all 100 percent my siblings.
    No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
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  • twister22twister22 member

    I think your brother handled it nicely.

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  • bdbelladonnabdbelladonna
    i think you're brother did well with his response. blended families like that are hard to explain to other people that sometimes phrases are used that hurt feelings.
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  • HisChamaoleGirlHisChamaoleGirl member

    I have four siblings (one step and three half) but I never call them "real" or "half." The only time I say anything other than "I have three sisters and one brother" is if it is mentioned that I dont look like them. In that situation I just say "They all have the same dad"

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

    BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

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  • krhee102011krhee102011
    Your brother handled that wonderfully. I have 5 half-sisters and 1 step-sister but I just say SISTERS. They are all my 100% real sisters and I think if I posted something like that they'd be really hurt as would I.
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  • Birdy2011Birdy2011

    Your brother handled the situation beautifully. I think that is wonderful. 

    I have an older half-brother and half-sister and a younger "full" sister.  We all share a father. I have never considered/referred to any of of my siblings anything less than my brother and sisters/real siblings unless a situation warranted explanation.  

    However, my older sister at times in our relationship has determined that we are not "real" sisters and said many, many hurtful things to this effect, mainly to me, but to my younger sister as well.  She even went so far as to disown me and my younger sister almost 4 years ago because we are not "real" sisters.  

    Within the last year, she has been trying to contact my younger sister and I to be back in touch (since both my sister and I have gotten married in the last year - she didn't attend either of our weddings).  We've exchanged some texts but still have not seen one another in person. 

    Half/Step/Full, I think it's all "real" and thinking of it as anything less is so hurtful and damaging.  I hope my SSs and LO can learn this truth.

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