Need advice.

Jniagara · October 2012

My SD mom had her calling her boyfriend "daddy" and she tells dsd to call DH by his name. She refuses to give DH any information regarding SD. She has made it to where if dh has to ask bm anything regarding SD he has to go through her BF to get to her. And thats even if he lets DH talk to her. She leaves SD with her bf family all the time. even with people she doesnt know as long as her BF says he knows them then she will leave SD with them. My DH is on his last breath when it comes to this issue. So we have decided to go to court for this issue of him not being able to talk to SD or knowing where she goes to daycare. Her doctor information. BM even has her BF as her dad on SD emergency contact. We know this because BM's father has let us know. Do you think we are wrong and wasting out time and money on nothing...? Im trying to be as supportive to my husband as I can be, But i Honestly do not know what to say or do when it comes to this.

Nineoceans · October 2012

No that is absolutely alienation of parental affection. I would get an attorney and court date as soon as possible

Phantomgirl · October 2012

No, I think he is right to go to court and fight for his DD and her safety.

His DD could be molested or physically abused while in the care of 'strangers'.

Document everything and hire an attorney.

He needs to also fight for right of first refusal and FULL custody.

He probably wont get it but it will send a message to BM that he is taking her bs seriously.

Jniagara · October 2012

We already have a lawyer and are just waiting on a court date. There is already a CO in order, but she swears she is above the law. Our lawyer is going to ask for more time. We have every other weekend and some odd and even holidays and every other birthday. He is going to ask 3 weekends a month and one day during the week. He is also going to ask for 3 weeks in the summer in stead of only 2 weeks. We have already been to the hospital because of suspected abuse. With out going into much detail because of SD privacy. She had some bruising on her thighs and her private area. It was investigated but the "forensic investigator" Ruled it as potty training accidents. She is only 2. And claimed it can happen to any kid. So they closed the case... TOTAL BS is you ask me. The worst part was, that she was notified by the police that we were at the hospital for the reason and her only reply was "OK" she didnt show up at all what so ever.... So while they where taking pictures of my SD and while shewas crying and my husband why trying not to hit the wall. SHE wasnt there. When she was confronted by DH before we headed to the hospital that He told bm that She had said " daddy did it" She refers to her BM bf "Daddy " MB said "well you cant believe everything a two year old tells you". Her worry all while this was going on was trying to defend her boyfriend.... She is one sick person and I cant believe they decided to close the case.

My poor husband heart is breaking for not being able to take his daughter out of that situation..... I just dont know what to do or say. To comfort him..... And every time I try to talk to him about it. He tells me he would prefer to not talk about it........

I dont know how to make him feel better and im scared this situation will take its tol on our marriage.

bdbelladonna · October 2012

Document everything and check that little girl everytime you see her. Get to court and fight to be the custodial parent.

If she has/is being abused it is something that will leave her damaged for the rest of her life. You can learn to live with it but it never goes away. If your H doesn't want to talk to you suggest a therapist, he probably has a lot of fear and anger that he doesn't know how to deal with. Just be there for him when he is ready to talk to you.

Littlejen22 · October 2012

Why is he going for more time instead of custody?

FutureMrsWittig · October 2012

Jniagara:

1) He is going to ask for 3 weeks in the summer in stead of only 2 weeks.

2) We have already been to the hospital because of suspected abuse. With out going into much detail because of SD privacy. She had some bruising on her thighs and her private area. It was investigated but the "forensic investigator" Ruled it as potty training accidents.

3) I dont know how to make him feel better and im scared this situation will take its tol on our marriage.

1) if this is what he wants he needs to start by asking for a LOT more. this is a negotiation, his first proposal isn't likely to be accepted.

2) If this is true, sue for FULL CUSTODY and ask for a temporary order of protection.

3) Sadly, it probably will. Find a good couples counselor and get the open communication started, now.

twister22 · October 2012

FutureMrsWittig:
Jniagara:

1) He is going to ask for 3 weeks in the summer in stead of only 2 weeks.

2) We have already been to the hospital because of suspected abuse. With out going into much detail because of SD privacy. She had some bruising on her thighs and her private area. It was investigated but the "forensic investigator" Ruled it as potty training accidents.

3) I dont know how to make him feel better and im scared this situation will take its tol on our marriage.

1) if this is what he wants he needs to start by asking for a LOT more. this is a negotiation, his first proposal isn't likely to be accepted.

2) If this is true, sue for FULL CUSTODY and ask for a temporary order of protection.

3) Sadly, it probably will. Find a good couples counselor and get the open communication started, now.

All of this. If you truly believe that BM's BF is molesting SD, I would be trying to get FULL CUSTODY, not a few extra days.

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