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April 2012 Moms
sleep issues and the pedi
We just got back from the pedi and he asked how she was sleeping. I was honest and said that its getting worse. Last night she was up and down every hour from 9 until midnight. Then slept until 5:30. He asked how I put her to sleep. Again, I was honest. I rock her to sleep. He said that's my problem. He said that she can go to sleep at 7 and sleep until at least 5 without a feeding. That right now she's conditioned to wake up, not be able to put herself back to sleep, want food, and then drift off as I rock. Part of me believes him and the other part can't get past the idea of letting her cry for me. Is this what all moms go through? Am I just being a big baby? I know she loves the rocking, and so do I. She used to be able to go all night without needing me. Now, its all night long. He said its because she's getting smarter and realizes that I'm not there to rock her.
Ugh! So what do you think? And please be honest? Suck it up and sleep train or hold out and try other things? Like feeding more throughout the day, dressing warmer, etc.
I love our pedi but sometimes I leave there so unsure of myself when it comes to this sleeping issue. Everything else I have firm.
Ugh! So what do you think? And please be honest? Suck it up and sleep train or hold out and try other things? Like feeding more throughout the day, dressing warmer, etc.
I love our pedi but sometimes I leave there so unsure of myself when it comes to this sleeping issue. Everything else I have firm.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: sleep issues and the pedi
If she's seriously up all.night.long or needing you all night, then you might want to consider sleep training (maybe the No Cry Sleep Solution or something else that doesn't involve CIO). Personally, I have no problem getting up 2 or 3 (or 4) times in the middle of the night still. He's only this little once, and I love our time together. I'm not convinced that he's not hungry in the MOTN feeds, since he gulps down both sides and cries when it's time to switch. I've heard that some babies just aren't good sleepers for awhile. And at this age, there are so many teething/growth spurt/cold issues that I don't want to make him CIO when he's sincerely miserable.
Do what you feel is right. It's not going to be the same as every one else, and that's okay.
Micah Leonard
I had a long sleep talk with my pedi yesterday too. N is up every 1-3 hours all night, every night. Our longest stretch is maybe 3 hours, every single night. He is not hungry because he doesn't really eat, he just needs me to put him back to sleep. We're on the fence about what to do, but I'm really freaking tired. We tried Ferber one night and quit because we weren't ready. We are strongly considering it again though.
Just wanted to comment and say you aren't alone!
I don't like that PARENTING advice (meaning, not medical advice).
I don't think the rocking is the problem. The feeding may be? Maybe try extra rocking and NO feeding?
Ugh, I'm sorry
Also, I said "problem", but it's normal infant behavior. DANG ANNOYING NORMAL INFANT BEHAVIOR!
Adeline is still up 2-3x a night too. Ugh.
I think I'm going to give it another month and after the ILs leave, talk to DH about moving her to her own room and maybe sleep training. I can go another month.
The pedi just makes our seem like in being selfish by rocking her. He says she doesn't need rocking but that I'm probably doing it for me. Which yes, I love to rock her, it just gets old every few hours at night.
That was us too. We did Ferber and it worked so well! For the past week or so, DS goes to sleep without any crying at all. Last night after his routine, I placed him in his crib, rubbed his back for a moment, and then he rolled toward me, looked at me, smiled, and then rolled back over and went to sleep. It was amazing!
We still have one motn feeding, which I am completely fine with.
It was terrible listening to him cry the first night. He cried for almost two hours, but we did not want to cave and have all of the crying be for nothing.
We tried so many no cry solutions before without any luck. CIO was our last option and we, well I, read the book almost cover to cover.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you'd rather be sleeping. Geeze.
Dixee! LOL! Sleep is for the weak in this house. :
HAHA, ain't it the truth!
I would say 1-2 middle of the night feedings can easily be normal for babies this age. If you were to sleep train you would be trying to remove the waking up when they don't really need anything.
I kind of sleep trained my LO. She started to wake up at 4am every single night, and she didn't need anything, she might eat for 1 minute and then fall back asleep. One night, I just left her, she fussed maybe 10 minutes, and fell back asleep. The next night it was 5 minutes, and then 1-2 minutes, and she stopped within a week.
My LO also sleeps better if she is not cold, so you could try to see if she is too warm or cold.
I read the Ferber book and would highly recommend it. Even if you have no plans to let baby cry it out, the book has a ton of very interesting information about children and sleep. I was getting to the point of desperation so I said, I won't do CIO but I'll read the book.
I was fine when she was eating at 1am, 3/4am and 6.30am. Then she started to wake at 11pm as well. That was too much for me. I work full time and I do not function well on poor sleep.
Because she always wanted the boob, it was all me me me.
Anyway we decided to implement it for weaning her from the boobies all night long. Hubby would go in and soothe her, we would push back the feedings gradually etc. etc. It didn't quite pan out the way I expected but it worked much faster than I would have thought.
Now she is still waking at 12/1am when we soothe her without feeding her (rocking, patting, shushing, back massaging and yes sometimes just plain crying if all else fails). Then she wakes at 3 or 4am when I feed her, then I feed at 6.30am. I am hoping soon she drops the 12/1 wakeup as it takes longer to soothe her without boobies haha.
I plan to keep the 3am feeding for as long as she should want it, I don't mind getting up for that at all and I don't want to mess my supply up too much.
I'm considering just lying to the pedi at her 6mth when he asks if she still eats in the MOTN.
My pedi knew DD slept like crap, he told me it wasn't unusual and many report better sleep around the year mark so to hang in there. DH and I had agreed no sleep training until after a year anyway since they go through so many wonder weeks, developmental leaps, etc the first year that naturally can disrupt sleep. By 10 months she was down to 1 waking (after the horrid 9 month wakeful) and STTN just after a year. This was a girl who was up every 1-2 hours some weeks or up for 2-4 hours straight in the MOTN.
FTR we do everything the same with DS and he has STTN since about 3 months, so don't feel guilty. We've always nursed to sleep. I just can't do CIO, if my babies cry I don't want them to feel like they're alone and no one is coming. Big softy!
ETA: We tried no cry solutions at 6 and 9 months and it was a big fat fail, but at 15 months the same methods worked perfectly to get her to fall asleep without nursing, she just wasn't ready yet previously. Do what you're comfortable with and know at any point you are ready to make a change it will be fine. If you don't want to do anything yet, wait a little longer, it's not going to harm her
Trust me, I can't get that same clingy little monster to go near the rocker with me anymore, she asks to go right in her crib at night and tells me goodbye lol.
I understand it is not unusual to wake a few times a night but it seems like you are way past what is "normal." I agree with LINDY that you only need to eliminate the "extra" wakings. I believe sleep habits are something that needs to be practiced just like sitting or crawling.
You should def try dressing warmer before you do sleep training. If LO is cold, that could be a valid reason for waking up and CIO won't help. Everyone will just be frustrated for nothing. However, if a few days of extra coziness isn't working, it's time to try something else.
As for rocking, your pedi has some points. If you are rocking to sleep every nap and at bedtime and with all MOTN wakings, LO could be getting accustomed to it. I rock DD at bedtime while saying prayers, singing lullabies, or reading a book. For naps I will lay her straight into the crib. I think that helps define "night" and longer sleep patterns. For us it's the best of both worlds.
My feelings are that multiple MOTN wakings are an issue that can be fixed relativity easy. A tried baby is not a healthy baby. I do not want to have a 2 year old that still wakes several times at night, which is a possibility if good sleep habits are established.
We just had this discussion too! LO was waking several times during the night; however, I knew he could make it through because a 12 weeks he was sleeping from 9:00pm to 7:00am (!) which lasted about 2 weeks until his 4-month wakeful; we've been off track ever since.
I've always nursed/rocked him to sleep, and I knew he wasn't hungry in the MOTN since he would only nurse for a couple minutes then be back out. Over the last month or so, his bedtime has become earlier (7:30/8:00ish) and the weather has been getting colder so we added in a warm humidifier instead of the cold mist, and I really push for a dinner time nap (which he usually takes) so that his bedtime is back towards 9.
Our pedi recommended Ferber, but he wasn't pushy, which I was glad about because it wasn't necessarily something we were ready to try. BUT after our visit, DH and I decided to see what happens.
Night 1, I put DS down, he woke up a few minutes later, we let him fuss/cry for 5, then I went in a gave him his paci. He was back asleep for a few, then started fussing again, I waited 10 minutes, gave him his paci, and he was back out. That was that until 5:30. I fed him at that point (I was hungry too so I couldn't blame him!) He nursed both sides and was back out til 7.
Night 2, same thing at night; however, when DS woke up around 5:30 again, we let him fuss and he put himself back to sleep after a few minutes (yay!), and slept til 7.
Night 3, DS went right to sleep, woke around midnight. Let him fuss for 5, gave him his paci, and he was back out until 6. I fed him then, and he fell back asleep until 9 (whaaat?? yea, felt good to sleep that late but I knew I shouldn't get used to it).
Night 4 (last night), DS went right to sleep, woke around midnight, only let out a few little fussy noises then was back to sleep until 7. SUCCESS!
It definately was hard to let him cry for a few especially since I was so used to getting him at any sign of fussing (I know, bad habit, but I like getting him!). But, it seems like it was totally worth it and I only hope this keeps continuing. I really think it has been a combo of the new humidifier, the later bedtime, and leaving him to his own for a bit that has made such a difference.
Good luck
!!!!!!