Bring me back down to reality please — The Bump
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Bring me back down to reality please

DH and I have decided that we want to try for #2. Our game plan is to try December/January/early Feb. If nothing, then only start again in June, so we will skip trying March/April/May. Sounds strange, but our 4 year old turns 5 in December and between his birthday and Christmas we would prefer not to have a baby in November/December/January. Hope that makes some sort of sense.

Now, with DS we weren't trying. I was on antibiotics (Tamiflu) that interefered with my pill and by magic we had a baby. I come from a family of women that fall pregnant easily. I have one older cousin that has had a struggle, but as it turns out she was not the issue. He was taking steroids and that affected his fertility. I even have an aunt who had her tubes tied and she fell pregnant after that.

 Anyhoo, because of this I am not expecting to struggle. I am expecting to go wham,bam, thank you mam, and have a BFP on Christmas day. I know that it is unlikely and I should not get my hopes up, but the more I tell myself this, the more I am building my expectations. So please, bring me back to reality.

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Re: Bring me back down to reality please

  • I would like to bring you down to reality, but my reality was wham, bam...  I had been on BCP for 16 years, went off in May thinking it would take a few months to get back to "normal" and then maybe TTC August/September.  Well, DH DTD once in June and I got my BFP June 22.  WAY earlier than expected.

    I should have known, my sister also had no trouble getting KU'd either. 

    Good Luck!

    *** DS born February 21, 2013 - Toronto, Canada  ***
    imageimage
  • I don't think you will know until you're trying.

    It only took me two months to get pregnant with DD and one cycle this time around so...perhaps I'm not the best person to ask.  It can definitely happen that once you start trying you get pregnant immediately, but I don't think you can really prepare yourself for the possibility of a longer TTC time more than just realizing that it could take longer.  

    If I were you I wouldn't expect a struggle, but I would also try to just keep in mind that for the average, perfectly able to procreate couple, it can take more than 9 months or so.  I don't think you can make yourself not expect to get pregnant the first or second cycle trying, but I think it is good to keep in mind that if it doesn't happen that's totally normal...does that help?

    Probably not!  Anyhow, good luck and I'm hoping to find your BFP reported here soon!

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  • Thanks Ladies, but um, you not really helping here... Wink

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  • imageLadyMadrid08:

    I don't think you will know until you're trying.

    If I were you I wouldn't expect a struggle, but I would also try to just keep in mind that for the average, perfectly able to procreate couple, it can take more than 9 months or so.  I don't think you can make yourself not expect to get pregnant the first or second cycle trying, but I think it is good to keep in mind that if it doesn't happen that's totally normal...does that help?

    This. With my m/c and this pregnancy, we got lucky on the first cycle. With DD it took 5 months, which isn't long at all, but compared to the first cycle, well, it's 5 times as long :-) And obviously there was nothing wrong with either of us since I've gotten pregnant very easily the other 2 times.

    If you lurk on TTGP and/or 1st trimester, sometimes people will ask this question - if you got pregnant quickly with your first, how long did it take you with your second. Or if it hasn't been asked in a while on 1st tri, you could ask again there. Lots of people rotate through that board, so it shouldn't be too repetitive. I've seen that for some people it has gone fast for all children and others have needed 8+ cycles for subsequent children. There's actually a whole board called Secondary Infertility, and some of those women had a miracle baby with their first that they didn't even know was a miracle baby (took 2 cycles or something even though it was later revealed that their chances of getting pregnant naturally are less than 0.5%). I'm not saying that will happen to you, but if you want a reality check that it could take longer, there you go.

     


    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

  • It took 3 cycles for us after 10 years on BCP. I definitely thought it would take longer and started charting and using OPKs from the beginning. We were ready to be pregnant right away so I figured why guess and possibly waste months trying.

    Just don't be too hard on yourself if it doesn't work out as fast as you're thinking. The disappointment of getting your period when you know you had sex at peak time can be really hard. I cried after only our second cycle. When I look back now it happened pretty quick, but those 3 cycles seemed like an eternity when I knew we were doing everything we could to get pregnant.
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  • I agree with the other posters. You dont know until you try.

     However, I dont know about you but I would find it difficult to take a 3 month break from TTC after trying for a few months. We were thinking about skipping the cycle I got pregnant because of the holidays and plus I have a niece whose parents are BSC about making sure their kid is super special in every way and her birthday is around that time of the year.

    In the end, we decided to go ahead and now I am due on Jan. 2. Smile

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  • imagedulcemariamar1:

    In the end, we decided to go ahead and now I am due on Jan. 2. Smile

    Maybe your baby will share my birthday!  I am a New Year's Baby.  Would suck to be in labor on New Year's though. 

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  • imagedulcemariamar1:

    I agree with the other posters. You dont know until you try.

     However, I dont know about you but I would find it difficult to take a 3 month break from TTC after trying for a few months. We were thinking about skipping the cycle I got pregnant because of the holidays and plus I have a niece whose parents are BSC about making sure their kid is super special in every way and her birthday is around that time of the year.

    In the end, we decided to go ahead and now I am due on Jan. 2. Smile

    I really hope we can/will. DS was born on 20 December. I really don't want to add another child in to that mix. 1 kid that time of the year is fine, 2 is pushing it.

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  • Kelly321, thanks. I will look at those boards.
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  • Blushing, you don't know until you try. I've got my fingers crossed for you to have a nice Xmas gift! ;)  I don't know if we could have stopped once we started either, but I nderstand where you're coming from with a December baby! 

    Mum to W (4) and M (nearly 2)
  • Well, you can remember me! 

    12 months the first time around and then lost it, took two months off and fortunately got pregnant again after 4 cycles... So I started TTC in August 2010 and am still waiting for a baby. Fingers crossed it will all work out now.

    We timed things around my brothers wedding with my first BFP but after everything, we just gave up on any sort of timing and just figured we'd work around whatever happened. 

    However, my mom and bf both got pregnant and had perfect babies twice on cycle 1 or 2 so that happens too! I always thought it would be easy for me since it was for my mom but not so much. It's really impossible to plan these things. 

    TTC #1 since Aug 2010 * BFP Aug 2011, EDD April 16 2012 * MMC @ 7w5d, D&C @ 10w5d
    BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks
    Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks on Nov 27 2012

    Lilypie - (kqKn)
  • It really depends, best thing to do is not thing about it. We took 4 months with DD and this one was an oopsie first egg drop since DD so we had it easy both times but my Mum had a harder time with my sister that I and had a few losses between.
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  • imageashleysyn2:
    Like the PPs have said, you won't know until you try. I'm having the opposite fear. We plan to start trying next summer for 2. DD was a surprise, so I've never actually done the TTC thing. I worry it's going to take a while and that I will have put if off too long. I don't want my kids to have too big of an age gap.

    This was me before my youngest.  My first was a surprise honeymoon baby, my miscarriage was a surprise "how did you get past the condom?" baby (I was temping so I knew when I ovulated and when we had dtd) and then we were actually trying for the youngest.  Low and behold, wham, bam thank you mam and cycle #1 was a success. 

    I too have a very fertile history so when our condom broke 2 days before I ovulated this cycle it threw us for a loop.  I'm not quite at the testing stage yet so I'll let you know if anything comes up.

    Daughter #1 - February 12, 2010 

    natural m/c March 11, 2011 at 8 1/2 weeks 

    Daughter #2 - January 11, 2012 

    Ectopic pregnancy discovered November 6, 2012 at 6 weeks

    Daughter #3 - January 19, 2014

    Started our exploration into the world of international adoption June 2012.  We have no idea what this is going to look like but we are excited to find out!

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