DE Question about Egg Banks

BabyVDM · October 2012

Hi,

I know there is the regular DE check-in post but hoped it would be okay if I were to post a specific question.

We are starting now to look in earnest for the right bank/clinic and we haven't quite decided whether on using fresh or frozen.

I think I would be satisfied with frozen, if the donor matched my criteria. I would like to find a donor that is very similar to me in looks and ethnic bacgroud. The thing is, that I'm not certain how to find the right donor.

I have gone to many different websites, and tried running whatever searches are available as non-registered/non-patient users.

So here is my question, in your experience, are these the full extent of the available donors for a particular Egg Bank, or are they just a small subset?

P

Mrs.McIrish · October 2012

You don't get to see adult pictures of the donors at RBA. I believe you only get limited info from RBA until you are actually a patient. Then you can see more than the "public" would see but still no adult photos. You give them a picture of you and they will compare to say if the donor resembles you. I am too Type A for that. I want to see for myself and select. As for other agencies, I registered for a few in MA and you got access to the full database-- they were not holding back donor profiles for the "real patients" if that is what you are asking.

Edwina.McDunnough · October 2012

For frozen egg I would not go anywhere except for RBA. They seem to be ahead of their competition especially since frozen egg is not FDA approved. The FAQ has a lot of DE topics but the deal with frozen is that the donor has already donated, so you're limited to what is in the bank already. If you have a high demand-difficult to match ethnic background then DE from inhouse pools can be difficult to navigate: limited or nonexistient options, long wait (year+), or necessitate the use of an agency (14k+ more plus the lovely situation that they won't be accepted but you paid the agency for their services anyway). I'm not trying to be a downer about it but this is our situation, but again, if you're open to donors that are easier to find then this isn't a problem. GL with your research.

BabyVDM · October 2012

Mrs.McIrish:

You don't get to see adult pictures of the donors at RBA. I believe you only get limited info from RBA until you are actually a patient. Then you can see more than the "public" would see but still no adult photos. You give them a picture of you and they will compare to say if the donor resembles you. I am too Type A for that. I want to see for myself and select. As for other agencies, I registered for a few in MA and you got access to the full database-- they were not holding back donor profiles for the "real patients" if that is what you are asking.

Yes, this is what I am wondering.

I don't want to register all over this place, with the hopes that maybe they might have a the perfect donor hidden away for registered patients access only.

You know, like a dating site might give you a random sampling of the perfect matches, but then you go in and that "match" was a model not an actual available choice. Or you might miss out on the perfect choice because you didn't think they were there.

It won't matter, really, if the baby doesn't look like me (or my mom, or dad etc). Not in the long run. I know. But if I could, I would choose someone that does.

Thanks for the repsonses, I don't have the luxury of calling during business hours as I have no privacy in my office and of course don't really wish to advertise I'm TTC, so this is very helpful.

Mrs.McIrish · October 2012

Remember that places are always getting new donors so you have to stalk the databases constantly. I met DH on Match so it is highly amusing for me to be searching more databases now for a donor... I guess more "ironic" than "amusing" but since I did good with DH, maybe I will do good with a donor too.. Here's hoping:-)

BabyVDM · October 2012

See, you know exactly what I mean. I met DH on eHaromony. I didn't find him on the public search, but they matched to me from some secret hidden stash for members only. So, I had to join to finally find him.

This is what I am trying to sort out.

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