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confession: I get tired of bfing.

MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member
in Success after IF

Don't get me wrong I LOVE doing it and I love that Bright does it so well (and I know I'm SUPER fortunate!), but sometimes when I hear him crying while DH has him I just wish he could feed him.  Then I could keep getting things done or finish whatever I'm working on.

It makes me feel like such a bad mom! I pump and have TONS of frozen bm but DH doesn't think we should use it cuz he's afraid he'll stop nursing.  At this point he's taken the bottle amazingly and still LOVES nursing, so I don't see the problem but whatever.

Whenever he nurses I love that time with him, but sometimes I just don't want to leave what I'm doing...

What is wrong with me?!?! ugh, I feel terrible. Sad

 

PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one that has ever felt this way on the face of the earth... 

Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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Re: confession: I get tired of bfing.

  • JillRock96JillRock96 member
    I'm sure it must be hard to have to be the one there for every single feeding, day and night -- you are not a bad mom!  At my BF class they told us that 3 weeks was a good time to start introducing a bottle (if you were going to bottle feed at all) -- maybe you could start trying?
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  • RN5406RN5406 member

    I feel the exact same way and ashamed to admit it. I LOVE to be able to BF and "knock on wood" it's been going well, with a few bumps along the way. But it is getting better. However, when Alexander cries, it kills me because it feels like I "just" fed him. My DH has been great and feels bad he can't do more. We do feed 1 bottle a day from pumping, usually his last feeding before bed. He takes it great and fortunately no nipple confusion.?

    ?It's a time consuming job. But I think it's normal to feel overwhelmed and burnt out at times. We're all still getting used to it! Hang in there!?

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  • SeptGirl05SeptGirl05
    Oh gosh - don't feel bad - I feel that way sometimes and I 100% FF (that's embarassing to admit since my DH helps with feedings when he's home from work!)  Having an infant is exhausting - I am still trying to juggle taking care of my baby while keeping up with chores in the house.  I am starting to get the hang of running around the house when my baby is napping and getting very good at multi-tasking.  I can't imagine what I'll do when I go back to work. . . you are not alone.  : )
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  • my*heart*is*hismy*heart*is*his

    Oh, you are so not alone in this! I had so many times when DD would be crying and all I wanted was a little time to myself to get something finished. In those early weeks she would nurse for a good 40-45 minutes, to the point where it felt like all I was doing was nursing! I LOVED every minute with her (and kind of miss BFing now - I weaned DD 3 weeks ago - sniff), but there was this little selfish part of me that just wanted "me" time - and I had a good 100+ oz. in the fridge in those early weeks/months - but then there was guilt over "dropping" a nursing session and the worry about supply, and so on.

    There is nothing wrong with you at all...it's called being human and still needing to be your own person even though you've added "mommy" to your list of identities.

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  • kianewkianew
    You are definitely not the only one to feel this way and don't feel terrible!!  I feel the same way sometimes.  We are the same as you and Bright - super lucky that BF has gone so well, I love knowing that he is getting the best thing for him right now, he does great with it and I wouldn't trade that time with him for anything.  But it does suck sometimes that I have to drop everything at that very moment to feed him.  DH has given Dylan a few bottles and that hasn't confused him at all and he does great with going back and forth between the two also.  Anyway, do not feel badly about feeling that way!  You are not alone! 
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  • pirate-ellepirate-elle

    I felt that way. Miranda nursed every 45mins every day from 4am to 6pm (when DH gave her a night bottle) then once or twice during the night until she was 5 months old. I tried everything to get her to go longer between feedings, saw LC's - all they could tell me was that she was small, and a snacker, and obviously hungry, and to keep feeding her.

    I finally broke down to my Dr when she was about 5 months and he told me to start cereal. I told him how guilty I felt but that I felt like all I did all day was feed her. My one and only job was to make milk, and that the LCs told me just to keep BFing her on demand. He said (and I will never forget it) 'yeah, that's fine, unless you want to be a mom with any sort of a life'. And he told me to start cereal. And I did, and Miranda loved it - and after her 2 cereal feedings of the day, she'd go almost 2 hours without needing to nurse. It was heaven.

    Wow - long story there, but yes, I did feel that way, and I felt horribly guilty because of it, especially since BF was relatively easy for us too - but you're doing a great job, and I agree with pp that you should try to introduce a bottle - the one bottle break now may make a world of difference, and in a while when you and DH are ready to venture out without your son for the first time (maybe an adult dinner, or even a movie) you'll be secure in the knowledge that someone else can feed him while you're gone, and it's not his first try with a bottle, and you can be gone more than an hour or two. Take care!

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  • Shanseur*Shanseur*
    You are SO not the only person who feels this way.  I think all mothers feel this way at some point.  They have to nurse so often and things also have to get done around the house....cuz if you don't do laundry, you're not going to have any clean underwear to wear.  Don't feel badly.  I felt like a bad mom too at some times but then after talking to several other mothers realized that I am definately not the only one and it doesn't mean you love your child any less.
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  • MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member

    Thank you guys, you have made me feel a million times better! 

    Dh "teases" a lot but it's not funny and it's only making me feel worse. I finally snapped and just said stop!  Because he would tease about how I wouldn't want to make time for DS.... needless to say it's been an emotional day.   We're leaving as a family to go to caribou to play games.. (well not bright, he'll just sit there while we play!).  I think we need to get out of the house.

     

    Anyways, we have given him 3 bottles now and he's done great and still loves to nurse so I just need to be more adamant about getting a break here and there.

     

    Thanks you guys.  You're truly the best! 

    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Pregnancy Ticker Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers image
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  • madhatter2003madhatter2003
    imagemy*heart*is*his:

    There is nothing wrong with you at all...it's called being human and still needing to be your own person even though you've added "mommy" to your list of identities.

    I agree with this 110%. You are perfectly normal, trust me  =) 

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  • julandjojulandjo member
    You wouldn't be human otherwise sweetie.  I admit I get tired of it too, and this is after having fought tooth and nail for 9 weeks to BF my son, have it fail and cause him so much pain (he has severe protein intolerance and no matter how I changed my diet, my breastmilk caused him intestinal bleeding), and then I hoped and prayed it would work this time.  It worked, she nurses fabulously, and I've cut SO many things out of my diet to make this work.  As hard as I've fought for this, I still get tired of it.  It's hard to be at someone's beck and call 24 hours a day... every day.  Cut yourself some slack!  :)
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  • jenannajenanna
    I am a total lurker on this board but am jumping in to say you are normal!  It's a lot of work!  For the first few weeks I felt like all I did was nurse, but (I'm sure you know this) as they get older they go longer between feedings.  Also, you are lucky because he will take a bottle, it took my DD 6 months and four different bottles before she would finally accept it.  (She still doesn't really like it, though, and we only use it as a last resort.)  Good luck and congrats on your beautiful DS!
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  • candmcandm
    It takes a lot for those first few months, but there will come a time when you will miss the frequency and closeness. Just try to hang in there and relax when you do it instead of thinking about everythign else that needs to get done around the house.
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  • pamela-mattpamela-matt
    You are certainly not alone and there is nothing wrong with you.  It is difficult to feel tethered to something, now matter how much it means to you. 
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  • BubbleToesBubbleToes

    It gets so much better!  I felt like all I did the first 6 weeks of my daughters life was nurse, nurse and nurse.  6 weeks seems to be the magic age where they're able to go longer stretches between feedings.

    Just wait until the first time he smiles at you after you're done feeding him.  It makes it all worth it :-)

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